2023 redundancy. 2024 broke me. I didn’t know 2025 could get worse. Now the goal is to survive to 2026. I do not mind who sees this in the design world; if you can share it, it means the world.

I spent the year in medical hell, only to return to the collapse of design research and the emergence of AI video screening, which is designed to exclude neurodivergent people. Like many designers, I have AuDHD and have not passed one. Every week it resets. I have no family. It’s me.

I buckled the other day for stress; I physically buckled while walking back to the tram.

Every donation goes toward treatment, medication, public transport (tram), doctor’s appointments, and the bare minimum to survive, so I can continue to use CoPilot to apply for work. 

Panic attacks are now daily. My mental health is unravelling under the weight of it all.

I’m clawing my way back (applying for jobs every day, automated rejections are inevitable), but the financial toll has been relentless. The state of design research/AI hiring in Australia has only made it harder to imagine a way forward.

When money does come in, every cent goes straight to survival. There’s nothing left for rent, utilities, Internet or groceries.

I’ve sold what I could; even my World Series jerseys and gear are gone. I’ve cut back on everything possible (oatmeal is $2, and MLBGamePass.com is my best friend).

I’m doing everything I can to stay afloat, but it’s becoming impossible.

Recovery has become a full-time job I can’t afford. My savings are gone. And staying stable takes more than I currently have.

If you’re in a position to help, even a little, it would go directly toward housing, medication, groceries, and basic bills. Just enough to keep me going until something gives.

Thank you for reading, and for being here. YORDAN LOOMS! JULIO IS BEAUTIFUL! I will make it to opening day. I am fighting for us all!