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I hesitated to do this … but as the things added up I realized I have no other choice then to ask for help.
As many of you already know my mother lost her fight to leukemia last Thursday October 1st 2015. She had received a stem cell transplant on September 11 from her sister Karen, who was a 100% match, meaning high hopes for the transplant to be a success and for a smooth recovery. After four long weeks of round the clock chemotherapy, and another additional week of aggressive chemo to deplete her system for new stem cells, everything was looking very positive and she was doing amazing.
Unfortunately the stem cell transplant was ultimately determined as a failure, because she was not producing and new stem cells. So, after a little over two weeks, her symptoms showed that her body was slowly rejecting the new stems cells. She had overcome so much thus far that we all believed in our hearts that she would survive this as well, just as she did five years ago when she was diagnosed with stage four fibrotic cancer, which she beat after two rounds of chemo.
At 3 am on Oct. 1st, I was notified by the hospital that my mother was being moved to ICU for low blood pressure issues. By 5 am they had to add a breathing tube. By 9am her kidneys shut down. The sight was so saddening, and she was not coherent at all. By noon she was barely hanging on; with four blood pressure medications at the highest dosage barely keeping her blood pressure up, and just about every other lifesaving medication or procedure they had available. With a bacterial infection they could not locate. Four different doctors came in to let us know that recovery was not an option, and that she would be gone in a few hours. Just before midnight (less than 24 hours after being moved to ICU ), my mom slipped peacefully away as my sister Jackie, my daughter Madeline, sister Cori and I all stood by her side singing one of her favorite songs, “Dream A Little Dream of Me” by Mama Cass.
Our lives have been turned upside down. Mom was so full of hope and conviction that this was not the end for her, that she left us with no direction. We all thought she could beat this. She had told my aunt Karen that if for any reason she didn’t make it, she wanted to be cremated, but she left no funds for that or for any of the other practical obligations that go along with a person’s passing.
With shattered hearts, we are slowly trying to pick up the pieces left behind. It is slow and painful work to try to decide where or what to do with everything, what to keep to remember her by, and what we can bear to discard. Her remains will need to be put in urns for myself and siblings. We are planning a memorial to celebrate her life on Nov. 15th. These things are more expensive than I imagined.
Being a single mom, I barely have the funds to make ends meet. My sister is a full-time college student, and my brother lives out of state, and is also financially strapped, with an upcoming wedding. We were not prepared to lose our mother, we didn’t even really get to say good-bye. In addition her caregiver (my daughter Madeline)has been living with her for the past year, and my sister Jackie still considered my mom’s house her home when not in school. Both are now without a home base and will need to be permanently relocated to Oakland for school. All of their things, as well as all my mother’s cherished memories will be put in storage until they can save enough to rent an apartment.
My mother fought a hard fight over the past few years . I’m sure it was never her intention to leave this early, or to leave us without a will or a goodbye. She was the guiding force in each of our lives. It is with heavy hearts that we let her go. I know I speak for all of us when I say we wish we could have just one more conversation with her, just one more hug, just one more “I love you”.
Any and all help that you could give us would be greatly appreciated, and offer us some closure as we memorialize and celebrate my mother, as well as help our family get on their feet after this unexpected event.
We would be beyond grateful. I’m so glad so many of you have reached out and shared such great stories about my mom, and I hope to meet you all at the memorial and feel the love you all felt for her.
Any extra proceeds will be donated to a cancer foundation.
As many of you already know my mother lost her fight to leukemia last Thursday October 1st 2015. She had received a stem cell transplant on September 11 from her sister Karen, who was a 100% match, meaning high hopes for the transplant to be a success and for a smooth recovery. After four long weeks of round the clock chemotherapy, and another additional week of aggressive chemo to deplete her system for new stem cells, everything was looking very positive and she was doing amazing.
Unfortunately the stem cell transplant was ultimately determined as a failure, because she was not producing and new stem cells. So, after a little over two weeks, her symptoms showed that her body was slowly rejecting the new stems cells. She had overcome so much thus far that we all believed in our hearts that she would survive this as well, just as she did five years ago when she was diagnosed with stage four fibrotic cancer, which she beat after two rounds of chemo.
At 3 am on Oct. 1st, I was notified by the hospital that my mother was being moved to ICU for low blood pressure issues. By 5 am they had to add a breathing tube. By 9am her kidneys shut down. The sight was so saddening, and she was not coherent at all. By noon she was barely hanging on; with four blood pressure medications at the highest dosage barely keeping her blood pressure up, and just about every other lifesaving medication or procedure they had available. With a bacterial infection they could not locate. Four different doctors came in to let us know that recovery was not an option, and that she would be gone in a few hours. Just before midnight (less than 24 hours after being moved to ICU ), my mom slipped peacefully away as my sister Jackie, my daughter Madeline, sister Cori and I all stood by her side singing one of her favorite songs, “Dream A Little Dream of Me” by Mama Cass.
Our lives have been turned upside down. Mom was so full of hope and conviction that this was not the end for her, that she left us with no direction. We all thought she could beat this. She had told my aunt Karen that if for any reason she didn’t make it, she wanted to be cremated, but she left no funds for that or for any of the other practical obligations that go along with a person’s passing.
With shattered hearts, we are slowly trying to pick up the pieces left behind. It is slow and painful work to try to decide where or what to do with everything, what to keep to remember her by, and what we can bear to discard. Her remains will need to be put in urns for myself and siblings. We are planning a memorial to celebrate her life on Nov. 15th. These things are more expensive than I imagined.
Being a single mom, I barely have the funds to make ends meet. My sister is a full-time college student, and my brother lives out of state, and is also financially strapped, with an upcoming wedding. We were not prepared to lose our mother, we didn’t even really get to say good-bye. In addition her caregiver (my daughter Madeline)has been living with her for the past year, and my sister Jackie still considered my mom’s house her home when not in school. Both are now without a home base and will need to be permanently relocated to Oakland for school. All of their things, as well as all my mother’s cherished memories will be put in storage until they can save enough to rent an apartment.
My mother fought a hard fight over the past few years . I’m sure it was never her intention to leave this early, or to leave us without a will or a goodbye. She was the guiding force in each of our lives. It is with heavy hearts that we let her go. I know I speak for all of us when I say we wish we could have just one more conversation with her, just one more hug, just one more “I love you”.
Any and all help that you could give us would be greatly appreciated, and offer us some closure as we memorialize and celebrate my mother, as well as help our family get on their feet after this unexpected event.
We would be beyond grateful. I’m so glad so many of you have reached out and shared such great stories about my mom, and I hope to meet you all at the memorial and feel the love you all felt for her.
Any extra proceeds will be donated to a cancer foundation.