- M
- A
Exactly one week ago, on July 9th, Jarrod and I went to the ER with minor bleeding and cramping. Nothing could prepare us for what would become the greatest tragedy that we have ever experienced...
I was 5 months and 1 week pregnant and had just found out days prior that we were having a little girl. I mean, we knew all along she was a girl, because I had a dream about her this time last year, even before becoming pregnant. The dream was so vivid and her name was so clear... Sophia Willow. So, naturally that's what we named her. She was so active in my womb that I even nicknamed her my Tiny Dancer. She was so precious to us and we did everything in our power to give her the best environment to grow. We were doing everything we could from reading parenting books, to eating super healthy, and exercising daily to make sure Sophia & I would both be strong enough for a natural delivery.
Apparently, you can do everything right and still lose everything. What we thought would be a fairly minor check up was actually a heart shattering reality check... My cervix had dilated just enough for my 'waters' to balloon out, and there was no putting them back. She was going to die because I have an 'Incompetent Cervix'. I gave birth to little Sophia at 9:55 pm and held her in my arms until 11:25 pm, when her heart stopped beating. There was no saving her. We were destroyed. She was our 1st born and has already been laid to rest.
Ohhhh it gets worse. When we tried to leave town for a few days to grieve, Jarrod got terribly ill. We wound up spending what little money we had on a cheap hotel just a couple hours from home nursing him back to health... just not ready to come back to face our sad reality. No real grieving has even happened yet. He's still very sick and can barely swallow. But, as soon as his fever broke and he could get around okay, we packed up and headed back home.
And then, Blow #3 came when my car completely broke down at a gas station almost an hour from home. We had it towed to a mechanic, but it will likely be heading to the junkyard to be parted out because of it's years and mileage. (I mean, seriously, you can't make this crap up!)
A girlfriend told me today to go buy a lotto ticket, that my luck has got to turn. I am not one to play the lotto, but I thought perhaps this would be a way to take charge of our own luck... A way to make ends meet until we put the broken pieces of our lives back together and get back to work. We will use the funds to attempt fixing the car, hospital expenses(because you still gotta pay the bill, even though you don't have a baby), life expenses, and maybe, just maybe, a camping trip to the coast to heal our sorrows in the vast ocean and spread Sophia's ashes in a sacred place.
You are my good luck charms. Whatever you can do to help us through this unfathomable time, we are so gracious. Please share this with anyone who may understand our pain and want to help as well. All thoughts, prayers, kind words, and love are greatly appreciated as well. No small gesture will go unnoticed. Thank you, in advance, for Paying it Forward.
So Much Love,
Patty & Jarrod
I was 5 months and 1 week pregnant and had just found out days prior that we were having a little girl. I mean, we knew all along she was a girl, because I had a dream about her this time last year, even before becoming pregnant. The dream was so vivid and her name was so clear... Sophia Willow. So, naturally that's what we named her. She was so active in my womb that I even nicknamed her my Tiny Dancer. She was so precious to us and we did everything in our power to give her the best environment to grow. We were doing everything we could from reading parenting books, to eating super healthy, and exercising daily to make sure Sophia & I would both be strong enough for a natural delivery.
Apparently, you can do everything right and still lose everything. What we thought would be a fairly minor check up was actually a heart shattering reality check... My cervix had dilated just enough for my 'waters' to balloon out, and there was no putting them back. She was going to die because I have an 'Incompetent Cervix'. I gave birth to little Sophia at 9:55 pm and held her in my arms until 11:25 pm, when her heart stopped beating. There was no saving her. We were destroyed. She was our 1st born and has already been laid to rest.
Ohhhh it gets worse. When we tried to leave town for a few days to grieve, Jarrod got terribly ill. We wound up spending what little money we had on a cheap hotel just a couple hours from home nursing him back to health... just not ready to come back to face our sad reality. No real grieving has even happened yet. He's still very sick and can barely swallow. But, as soon as his fever broke and he could get around okay, we packed up and headed back home.
And then, Blow #3 came when my car completely broke down at a gas station almost an hour from home. We had it towed to a mechanic, but it will likely be heading to the junkyard to be parted out because of it's years and mileage. (I mean, seriously, you can't make this crap up!)
A girlfriend told me today to go buy a lotto ticket, that my luck has got to turn. I am not one to play the lotto, but I thought perhaps this would be a way to take charge of our own luck... A way to make ends meet until we put the broken pieces of our lives back together and get back to work. We will use the funds to attempt fixing the car, hospital expenses(because you still gotta pay the bill, even though you don't have a baby), life expenses, and maybe, just maybe, a camping trip to the coast to heal our sorrows in the vast ocean and spread Sophia's ashes in a sacred place.
You are my good luck charms. Whatever you can do to help us through this unfathomable time, we are so gracious. Please share this with anyone who may understand our pain and want to help as well. All thoughts, prayers, kind words, and love are greatly appreciated as well. No small gesture will go unnoticed. Thank you, in advance, for Paying it Forward.
So Much Love,
Patty & Jarrod