Devin’s Recovery

My son Devin is an addict and this an extremely overlooked illness.  An illness with a lot of judgement and I often hear people deny this illness is within their own family or say it will not happen to them.   As a mother you have hopes and dreams for your children, you want the best for them.  It was like I looked up one day and noticed the boy in front of me was no longer Devin and then over the past few years it just got progressively worse.  To the point until I thought that I was going to lose him to his addiction.  I was afraid that I would bury my son. I did not know the person in front of me and could not understand how it happened right in front of my eyes.  He went from the boy that could not lie to me without cracking a smile and apologizing to the boy that stood right in front of me and lied to my face.  He became evasive, isolating himself for long periods of time.  Conversation and family interaction became less and less as his need to chase his high increased.  He began to avoid contact with family and friends.  He would refuse to do his chores or help around the house. He stole from me, his sisters and our family and allowed his friends to do the same.  Money, jewelry, household items and all of our stuff would go missing. He became belligerent, disrespectful, his words so sharp that they stabbed me right in the heart.  I could take it, it was when he started treating the family and friends that cared for him with disrespec.  Every now and then we would get glimpses of that Devin, he would return for a conversation or two but most of the time he was just yelling, lying or evading.  Always on the defense while making excuse after excuse to deter the attention from what was actually going on.  His webs of deception grew large and fast and eventually he could not even keep track of his  lies.  He lived angry at everyone, even himself and took his emotions out on those around him.  I saw how much he was hurting, in his eyes the sparkle was gone, and we barely see your handsome smile.  His playfulness, laughter and jokes disappeared. He always had an agenda, a scheme, a plan that never included anyone but himself.  Devin is currently at an intensive inpatient program but he will need to be transitioned into a PHP (Partial Housing Program) where he will participate in intensive outpatient therapy while learning life skills and building a daily routine as he learns how to live sober.  The costs of recovery from an addiction are insurmountable for families.  Many costs are not covered by insurance and deductibles are often higher.  As a mother we want to do everything we can for our children but these programs can cost 5,000.00 to $14,000.00 per month with a 90 day average stay.  With addiction there is no guarantee but the more road we can pave in front of them the higher their chances are for success.