Dear Family and friends,

As many of you know, on July 6 I gave birth to my silent baby Zennen Analy Sanchez. This experience was both the most shattering and beautiful moment of my life. Nestor and I where excitedly awaiting the arrival of our baby girl. We kept envisioning a magical holiday season full of wonderful new family memories with our new addition, Zennen. Unfortunately, all of that changed on July 5th when I was told my baby no longer had a heartbeat. My initial reaction was to shut down, I wanted to hide, I didn’t want to face my reality. I wanted to wake up from my worst nightmare. I remember texting my immediate family on the way to the hospital letting them know what was happening, but I told them I didn’t want them involved, I wanted them as far away as possible. Little did I know what was ahead of me.

By Divine grace, an amazing soul and friend learned what I was about to undergo, and she created a ripple effect of support among my village, a village I didn’t even know I had. This outpour of love and support was something I’d never experienced before. Some of the women who reached out shared their own experiences and their strength and vulnerability taught me the importance of allowing myself to have people there for both, Nestor and I. Thanks to this solidarity and advice, I changed my mind and I accepted the love and nurture my family and friends were giving me. We also shared our experience with family, giving them an opportunity to meet Zennen and take a piece of her with them.

Admits the most difficult moment of our lives, Nestor and I were overwhelmed with all the love and help we were receiving. @Fit4Mom_Riverside, an amazing village I’m a part of, put together a meal train and fundraiser for us, our family came to visit every chance they got, and friends from near and far opened themselves for coffee and conversations. I never once felt alone, unseen, or unheard. There was so much love around us. There still is.

This experience taught me one thing, that the best thing to do for any human being that is undergoing a challenging time is to show up for them, with love and support of any kind. Motherhood is difficult. At times you feel lonely when you are trying to navigate your journey. Postpartum brings much joy but it can also bring a lot of sadness that oftentimes leads to depression. This is the reason for which I’m reaching out to all of you today, October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. As I am working on this new version of me, I am also working on a new self-purpose. I want to keep my baby’s name alive as well as her memory.

Additionally, I want to be of service to my community and the women who live in it, as well as for women all over the world that I can connect with virtually. There are many women who are suffering in silence. Through my experience, I learned that it’s okay to be vulnerable and allow someone to be by your side, who’s cheering you on, or is just there for emotional support. These actions can make a huge impact on a mom’s life. It can provide a moment of laughter, a shoulder to lean on, and it brings the awareness that you are not alone. You can cry without feeling judged, you can be of support to each other, and as a result, it helps you be the best mom you can be. Mainly, because you know you are not alone in this journey called Motherhood.

Therefore, I am coming to you asking you to please help me birth Zenn’s Light Counseling and Support Center. This is a vision that Nestor and I have conceived through our experience. As an LMFT, Nestor can provide mental health services. I, on the other hand, want to provide doula, yoga, and other workshops and resources to our community.

This last part is what I need your help with. Please help me raise the funds that will go towards paying for my teacher yoga and doula training.

I want Zenn’s Light to be a holistic place in which women in their motherhood journey and anyone who is part of their lives, have access to resources, feel safe, and supported. This is the first step I need to start working on our vision! Nestor and I hope that within two years we will be announcing the opening of our nonprofit organization where we will provide mental health and wellness services to our community.

Lastly, as mentioned above, October is "Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month." Every 15 of October a wave of light is created by lightning at candle at 7:00 pm, your local time. This is done to remember those babies that were born sleeping, the babies who were carried but never held, the babies that were held but not brought home, and the babies that were brought home but only for a while, this is known as “Wave of Light” day.

Every 4th pregnancy ends in a loss of some sort (miscarriage, TFMR, or stillbirth). Some babies are only in their mother’s womb for a few weeks, other moms come home empty handed after delivery, and some mommies bring their baby (ies) home, but only for a short period of time. In many cases, like myself, the cause of loss is unknown, there is no answer to why this happens. This uncertainty leaves us with many questions which can lead to feeling guilt, shame, anger, and so much more and through it all we must move on with our grief. The hole these losses leave in our lives, can’t ever be filled, but with the support of family, friends, or organizations that are there for us, we find a way to continue living and smiling as best we can.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for all your love and support.

With much gratitude,

Anali