Help Me Get Back on the Road

Hey Ya’ll

I hate writing this, and I deeply wish I had another, better option, but several people closest to me have been encouraging me to reach out for help for a while now, and it’s time for me to swallow pride and just do it. Frankly, I badly need it.

As most of you know, the last few years have been rough for me. They have been for everyone, but for long stretches of this period it’s felt like I just can’t get ahead without taking a series of kidney shots that take me right back down to the floor (between lockdowns, long covid related health problems, the deaths of a full dozen loved ones, exploding inflation, and a baker's dozen other indignities). Most recently, with the rise of AI writing/research tools (vacuous and incompetent though they may be), my entire business has been wrecked once again, and I am having to rebuild my money stream from the ground up for the 4th time in 5 years. I have managed to pull together some decent income by doing independent courier work, and am on waiting lists for every possible app-based delivery service, but all of this income relies directly on keeping my car running.

Alas, several weeks ago, after spending a day running errands for friends and helping another friend move, the engine in my car blew. It is useless now, as repairs would run me well above the value of the vehicle. After having sunk considerably over $5000 (amounting to much of my so-called disposable income and all of my savings) into my last car (that I eventually had to scrap for $300) and roughly $2500 into this one already, this is somewhat of a nightmare scenario. Worse, 95% of my income is now crippled by being unable to drive.

This blow has been hard. I am doing what I can to work odd jobs (thankfully, after months of physical therapy and a new bed, my back can actually move again), but I cannot maintain my current position. Traditional jobs refuse to hire me given my almost entirely self-employed work history and felony record; my continuing options for new income streams are similarly thin. And virtually everything I have is starting to wear to rags. My boots are 4 years old and in tatters. I barely have any pants left that I can wear in public for the holes. I can make rent this month (due to the small amount I was able to save up when I thought my car was still salvageable), but next month is entirely uncertain. The house I live in is falling apart and constantly needs fixes we have to either do ourselves or fight the landlords for; the AC is broken and we cannot afford to fix it, even as temperatures mount. I am all the way down to the felt and the rust, and can’t even make it to odd jobs without a vehicle most of the time.

This is where the ask comes in.

I’m kinda fucking desperate. I need the help of my community. I don’t need much, just enough to be able to put a REAL down payment on a verified, good quality used car. Of course, in this current market, that is STILL a lot.

So, if you are one of the people who over the years I have been there for, talked through problems with, supported through hardship, helped move, given refuge and respite to, or generally helped in any way; if you are among the many people who have enjoyed my writings, my D&D sessions, my music, my support; if you are one of the people who has repeatedly asked if there is anything you can do to help:

The time is now. I need your help.

I fucking hate doing this; I know times are hard, and that there are people worse off than me by a mile. But I just need a little bit of a helping hand, ya’ll. Cause I’m drowning over here. So: if you can throw a few bucks in the hat, I’d really, REALLY appreciate it. If not, I understand. Believe me, I do.

Any money up to the asked 5k will go directly to the down payment on a decent car.

Any excess that gets raised will help me start to recover other necessities like:

Work boots ($150)

Pants ($50 for like 8 pairs of pants), and hell, if we get that far, maybe a suit again).

Rent ($540)

Repaired AC ($1000)

If, by the grace of the gods, I somehow get even more, anything extra will go to ensuring the best possible car, and to having an actual emergency fund for the first time in many years (and give methe breathing room I need to really get back on my feet).

Godspeed, ya’ll. I hope things are getting better for all of us.

And please, if you have any need of ANY of my skillsets/services, please reach out. I want to work; I just don’t have the damn opportunity very much.