Zack Lamb's Van
Donation protected
https://www.imdb.com/video/vi894478617
Zack Lamb is turning 21 and he needs a new van. He has an extremely severe case of Tourette's Syndrome, along with OCD and other obstacles that prevent him from living what we think of as a "normal" life. His family has been amazingly supportive but now it's time for him to create a life for himself. If he gets a van that is mechanically sound, he can travel the country with a group of people like himself, ones who welcome him and can help him create his own adult life. The link above is a documentary that was made about Zack a few years ago.
Please help Zack pay for a new van!!
Here's a post from Zack's mom, Mary:
Mary Karnowski Lamb
New Member · June 19 at 11:07 AM
Life sucks again...
I’m physically ill having to share this news. I swear, Zack can’t catch a break to save his soul! Another HUGE life disappointment for my son... I sincerely don’t know how much more he can handle.
So, as you know he sold his prize possession, his beloved Jeep a couple weeks ago and after months of searching found a van he could afford and bought it. We drove about 15 hours to Memphis to purchase what he could afford from an upstanding police officer. We didn’t want to let it get away from us as these are hard to find so we didn’t take the time to get it mechanically checked out in Memphis. Instead, we were thrilled it drove, shifted and stopped beautifully all the way home. Yes, it had issues with lights on the dash, tons of rust, etc. but it was his very own!
With “happy tears” Zack shared his excitement with his tribe of nomads who are anxiously awaiting his return out west so they can help him build out his tiny home; set it up with solar power and all the necessities of a real home like a composting toilet and running water, a bed, etc. and begin his new life!
We took his new little home to our trusty mechanic here in town, asked him to check it over and let us know what repairs needed to be done to assure Z would be safe driving cross country and beyond. We budgeted some money for such as we knew some basic upkeep is always essential.
Well, we got the call yesterday. Horrible news - the mechanic sadly reported that we had spent all of Zack’s money on a freaking lemon! Yup, so bad that if we put the $5,000 in repairs he still can’t assure that other issues may not arise and put the van back in a shop out west and leave Zack stranded in nowhere land! Zack sold his Jeep for $13,000. He spent almost $7,000 on the van. Needs about $3,000 for solar setup and an additional several thousand for the additions such as insulation, walls, kitchen and bathroom, etc.
We are all just sick about this! Once again Zack responded tearfully with “See, I should NEVER get my hopes up. This stuff always happens to me.” The worst part? He is right!
The big life changing job in California - didn’t happen. The big premier screening of the documentary in London, bought the new suit - didn’t happen. The documentary was shown worldwide - but not in the US. Graduation from High School - couldn’t do it. Peers all go off to college - he can’t even do online high school. Peers graduate college - still stuck in the house like Groundhog Day.
Made a friend - they moved out of state. Got a service dog who changed his life - she died within a couple years. Bought a skateboard and learned how to ride - broken foot a week later. Got a new puppy - sick within a week.
I swear to God, you can’t make this crap up! I don’t know how much more he can endure.
To be completely honest, I don’t know how much more I can take either!
He is mentally, cognitively, and emotionally incapable of working a job that would provide him a living wage and healthcare. Zack is intelligent, kind, and incredibly loving. He will likely never be able to support himself and all he dreams of is having a happy life with a wife and children.
First step at this stage was to get a van and begin living a nomad life. A life that would not be bound by 4 walls littered with memories of horrific violent times in a community where he feels shame by his lack of ability to measure up. A life free of sounds that cause excruciating pain and suffering such as leaf blowers, dish or clothes washers, silverware tinging, televisions humming, and so much more. A life without clocks and schedules that cause explosive anxiety.
A life surrounded by nature and the peacefulness it provides. One with friends. Real friends who accept everyone exactly where they are, free of judgement and unrealistic expectations. A life he can financially afford living on his mere $1,000 per month disability income. A life where he can be a man, contribute and receive unconditional love for simply being himself.
As a family, what have we done?
Katie has been a constant source of positivity. She has rallied support to help her brother know how special he is. From a card shower after his DBS surgery to a worldwide rally for his California job, and the online supportive celebration for his 21st birthday and new life adventure as a nomad. (This is still a secret from Zack!)All to support her brother, the one who caused her to be locked in her bedroom for years to avoid injury from his explosive violent tics and rage. The one who watched her brother “got all the attention for most of her childhood” because the leaky wheel gets oiled. The one who got married and didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to be taken away from caring for my dying 95 year old cousin. The military wife sister who is now a Special Ed teacher with a Masters degree who simply wants to help kids like her brother to be able to receive the education he never received. The sister who persistently achieves everything she sets her mind to with a smile on her face and fire in her soul.
Carl, Zack’s dad is almost 80 years old. He suffered a heart attack last year and has health challenges as expected at his age. He tried the nomad life, in support of providing Zack the opportunity to see alternative lifestyles that would work for him. Within a month, he realized he wasn’t cut out for it. He wanted to sit in his recliner, read his books, play solitaire , watch jeopardy at 7 and have a hot shower daily. Who can blame him? He worked all of his life, had financial ups and downs, concluded his professional career with the economic crash in 2008 and moved into caring for elderly people until he became one. He has endured more stress as he has been shuttered into the bedroom to avoid injury during the fury that has accompanied Zack’s Tourette explosions for years. He has struggled with trying to pay the bills and keep us afloat as we live in our decrepit house on a slim income of social security. This is a man who lost a son who was only 18 years old, experiencing tragedy that no parent should ever have to endure. At age 55 he started a whole new family with the energy of a 20 year old. Four years later, he had a brain tumor removed and within weeks had to care for 2 toddlers while his wife recovered from a double mastectomy and hysterectomy. He soldiered on. This is a proud man. One who has always defined himself based on success and overcoming challenges. He wants to do whatever he can to be supportive but is at a total loss given the current situation.
Carl’s son Ron, Zack and Katie’s brother, lives in Colorado with his amazing family. His wife Kristi, and Ron have been immensely supportive through all of our trials and tribulations as well as being cheerleaders during our “ups”. Their financial assistance has truly kept our heads above water when the flooding could have taken us down! Carl speaks with Ron and/or Kristi on a daily basis and his grandchildren weekly. When they are on the phone together, Carl’s voice and spirit become bright and completely engaged. It is as if he is taken to a place where he can truly be the father of every mans dream. I sincerely don’t know where we would be as a family if it weren’t for them.
And then there is me.
Here, I am going to be completely raw as i give in rather than giving up. I feel quite powerless at this very moment.
I have recently been reminded that I am a perpetual optimist. I can’t help but bring up the positive side of every situation.
I have willingly and unapologetically been immersed in motherhood for the past 23 years. More specifically, for the past 14 years my devotion has grown exponentially due to the needs of my children. I was once an independent, confident, professional woman. Of late, I find myself secretly weeping in the corner questioning my every decision. My knees are scarred from endlessly praying for guidance, support and strength. Outwardly, my positive spirit shines on those I encounter. When people have said “how do you handle everything” I simply reply that I didn’t know there was a choice.
I have sacrificed my relationship with my husband., lost most friendships, and been without health insurance for myself for many years. Simply put, my self-care has been put on the back burner.
I have tried to suffocate my stress with a lot of unhealthy coping skills. I’ve unsuccessfully tried to balance myself with hobbies. Calligraphy and woodburning create a sound unbearable to Zack. Unmedicated and untreated ADD has prevented extensive reading and writing. Attending college became impossible due to my unpredictability based on my need to care for others.
I know with all my heart that I was given my exact children as gifts.
I am not a victim. A part of who I am may have developed as a consequence of my circumstances. I do not feel sorry for myself but I do get a little pissed at times for my shortcomings as well as my situation. But, I blame no one. This is MY life.
I never intended to write a short story or memoir, I simply wanted to share insight and let those who care about my son and our family know where we stand at this point.
As for Zack’s Nomad journey, we are unfortunately back at the drawing board. We have the van he bought, the “big gray rolling turd” on the market, hoping to recapture some of Zack’s investment and I am searching incessantly for a van we can afford to get him on the road. Of course, this will take some time. Time that will ring in Zack’s head as if he is standing in the bell tower as Big Ben chimes hourly! Of course, his tics increase with anxiety, like the type this current situation is creating. Your thoughts and prayers are sincerely appreciated during this challenging time. He is just so sad he simply wants to be with his Nomad tribe, his “Chosen Family”!
Unfortunately, the current van situation has sparked an increase in his emotional volatility and tics, which caused a major tic attack just last night. The result, a pulverized cell phone. With the current pandemic, it looks like it may take a while for a replacement to be received. If you care to reach out to Zack, you may call or text via my phone [phone redacted].
Please know that we will get through this current situation and Zack WILL begin his Nomad lifestyle. I will be following him in my little vintage (ok, old) VW Rialta for as long as he needs to get comfortable being independent. It’s what we mother’s do!
Thank you for your support, kindness and love. We would be lost without you.
Zack Lamb is turning 21 and he needs a new van. He has an extremely severe case of Tourette's Syndrome, along with OCD and other obstacles that prevent him from living what we think of as a "normal" life. His family has been amazingly supportive but now it's time for him to create a life for himself. If he gets a van that is mechanically sound, he can travel the country with a group of people like himself, ones who welcome him and can help him create his own adult life. The link above is a documentary that was made about Zack a few years ago.
Please help Zack pay for a new van!!
Here's a post from Zack's mom, Mary:
Mary Karnowski Lamb
New Member · June 19 at 11:07 AM
Life sucks again...
I’m physically ill having to share this news. I swear, Zack can’t catch a break to save his soul! Another HUGE life disappointment for my son... I sincerely don’t know how much more he can handle.
So, as you know he sold his prize possession, his beloved Jeep a couple weeks ago and after months of searching found a van he could afford and bought it. We drove about 15 hours to Memphis to purchase what he could afford from an upstanding police officer. We didn’t want to let it get away from us as these are hard to find so we didn’t take the time to get it mechanically checked out in Memphis. Instead, we were thrilled it drove, shifted and stopped beautifully all the way home. Yes, it had issues with lights on the dash, tons of rust, etc. but it was his very own!
With “happy tears” Zack shared his excitement with his tribe of nomads who are anxiously awaiting his return out west so they can help him build out his tiny home; set it up with solar power and all the necessities of a real home like a composting toilet and running water, a bed, etc. and begin his new life!
We took his new little home to our trusty mechanic here in town, asked him to check it over and let us know what repairs needed to be done to assure Z would be safe driving cross country and beyond. We budgeted some money for such as we knew some basic upkeep is always essential.
Well, we got the call yesterday. Horrible news - the mechanic sadly reported that we had spent all of Zack’s money on a freaking lemon! Yup, so bad that if we put the $5,000 in repairs he still can’t assure that other issues may not arise and put the van back in a shop out west and leave Zack stranded in nowhere land! Zack sold his Jeep for $13,000. He spent almost $7,000 on the van. Needs about $3,000 for solar setup and an additional several thousand for the additions such as insulation, walls, kitchen and bathroom, etc.
We are all just sick about this! Once again Zack responded tearfully with “See, I should NEVER get my hopes up. This stuff always happens to me.” The worst part? He is right!
The big life changing job in California - didn’t happen. The big premier screening of the documentary in London, bought the new suit - didn’t happen. The documentary was shown worldwide - but not in the US. Graduation from High School - couldn’t do it. Peers all go off to college - he can’t even do online high school. Peers graduate college - still stuck in the house like Groundhog Day.
Made a friend - they moved out of state. Got a service dog who changed his life - she died within a couple years. Bought a skateboard and learned how to ride - broken foot a week later. Got a new puppy - sick within a week.
I swear to God, you can’t make this crap up! I don’t know how much more he can endure.
To be completely honest, I don’t know how much more I can take either!
He is mentally, cognitively, and emotionally incapable of working a job that would provide him a living wage and healthcare. Zack is intelligent, kind, and incredibly loving. He will likely never be able to support himself and all he dreams of is having a happy life with a wife and children.
First step at this stage was to get a van and begin living a nomad life. A life that would not be bound by 4 walls littered with memories of horrific violent times in a community where he feels shame by his lack of ability to measure up. A life free of sounds that cause excruciating pain and suffering such as leaf blowers, dish or clothes washers, silverware tinging, televisions humming, and so much more. A life without clocks and schedules that cause explosive anxiety.
A life surrounded by nature and the peacefulness it provides. One with friends. Real friends who accept everyone exactly where they are, free of judgement and unrealistic expectations. A life he can financially afford living on his mere $1,000 per month disability income. A life where he can be a man, contribute and receive unconditional love for simply being himself.
As a family, what have we done?
Katie has been a constant source of positivity. She has rallied support to help her brother know how special he is. From a card shower after his DBS surgery to a worldwide rally for his California job, and the online supportive celebration for his 21st birthday and new life adventure as a nomad. (This is still a secret from Zack!)All to support her brother, the one who caused her to be locked in her bedroom for years to avoid injury from his explosive violent tics and rage. The one who watched her brother “got all the attention for most of her childhood” because the leaky wheel gets oiled. The one who got married and didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to be taken away from caring for my dying 95 year old cousin. The military wife sister who is now a Special Ed teacher with a Masters degree who simply wants to help kids like her brother to be able to receive the education he never received. The sister who persistently achieves everything she sets her mind to with a smile on her face and fire in her soul.
Carl, Zack’s dad is almost 80 years old. He suffered a heart attack last year and has health challenges as expected at his age. He tried the nomad life, in support of providing Zack the opportunity to see alternative lifestyles that would work for him. Within a month, he realized he wasn’t cut out for it. He wanted to sit in his recliner, read his books, play solitaire , watch jeopardy at 7 and have a hot shower daily. Who can blame him? He worked all of his life, had financial ups and downs, concluded his professional career with the economic crash in 2008 and moved into caring for elderly people until he became one. He has endured more stress as he has been shuttered into the bedroom to avoid injury during the fury that has accompanied Zack’s Tourette explosions for years. He has struggled with trying to pay the bills and keep us afloat as we live in our decrepit house on a slim income of social security. This is a man who lost a son who was only 18 years old, experiencing tragedy that no parent should ever have to endure. At age 55 he started a whole new family with the energy of a 20 year old. Four years later, he had a brain tumor removed and within weeks had to care for 2 toddlers while his wife recovered from a double mastectomy and hysterectomy. He soldiered on. This is a proud man. One who has always defined himself based on success and overcoming challenges. He wants to do whatever he can to be supportive but is at a total loss given the current situation.
Carl’s son Ron, Zack and Katie’s brother, lives in Colorado with his amazing family. His wife Kristi, and Ron have been immensely supportive through all of our trials and tribulations as well as being cheerleaders during our “ups”. Their financial assistance has truly kept our heads above water when the flooding could have taken us down! Carl speaks with Ron and/or Kristi on a daily basis and his grandchildren weekly. When they are on the phone together, Carl’s voice and spirit become bright and completely engaged. It is as if he is taken to a place where he can truly be the father of every mans dream. I sincerely don’t know where we would be as a family if it weren’t for them.
And then there is me.
Here, I am going to be completely raw as i give in rather than giving up. I feel quite powerless at this very moment.
I have recently been reminded that I am a perpetual optimist. I can’t help but bring up the positive side of every situation.
I have willingly and unapologetically been immersed in motherhood for the past 23 years. More specifically, for the past 14 years my devotion has grown exponentially due to the needs of my children. I was once an independent, confident, professional woman. Of late, I find myself secretly weeping in the corner questioning my every decision. My knees are scarred from endlessly praying for guidance, support and strength. Outwardly, my positive spirit shines on those I encounter. When people have said “how do you handle everything” I simply reply that I didn’t know there was a choice.
I have sacrificed my relationship with my husband., lost most friendships, and been without health insurance for myself for many years. Simply put, my self-care has been put on the back burner.
I have tried to suffocate my stress with a lot of unhealthy coping skills. I’ve unsuccessfully tried to balance myself with hobbies. Calligraphy and woodburning create a sound unbearable to Zack. Unmedicated and untreated ADD has prevented extensive reading and writing. Attending college became impossible due to my unpredictability based on my need to care for others.
I know with all my heart that I was given my exact children as gifts.
I am not a victim. A part of who I am may have developed as a consequence of my circumstances. I do not feel sorry for myself but I do get a little pissed at times for my shortcomings as well as my situation. But, I blame no one. This is MY life.
I never intended to write a short story or memoir, I simply wanted to share insight and let those who care about my son and our family know where we stand at this point.
As for Zack’s Nomad journey, we are unfortunately back at the drawing board. We have the van he bought, the “big gray rolling turd” on the market, hoping to recapture some of Zack’s investment and I am searching incessantly for a van we can afford to get him on the road. Of course, this will take some time. Time that will ring in Zack’s head as if he is standing in the bell tower as Big Ben chimes hourly! Of course, his tics increase with anxiety, like the type this current situation is creating. Your thoughts and prayers are sincerely appreciated during this challenging time. He is just so sad he simply wants to be with his Nomad tribe, his “Chosen Family”!
Unfortunately, the current van situation has sparked an increase in his emotional volatility and tics, which caused a major tic attack just last night. The result, a pulverized cell phone. With the current pandemic, it looks like it may take a while for a replacement to be received. If you care to reach out to Zack, you may call or text via my phone [phone redacted].
Please know that we will get through this current situation and Zack WILL begin his Nomad lifestyle. I will be following him in my little vintage (ok, old) VW Rialta for as long as he needs to get comfortable being independent. It’s what we mother’s do!
Thank you for your support, kindness and love. We would be lost without you.
Organizer and beneficiary
Bethany Rooney
Organizer
Los Angeles, CA
Mary Lamb
Beneficiary