Zachary Jordan Davis
Zack’s post:
“Scars
Scars can be physical, mental...some can be healing, raw (like this post), some can be mended. Some can still be happening and the painful scalpel of life is still cutting down, deep below the fascia and flesh of life - straight to your soul... today I ponder a heavy upcoming obstacle, a messy puzzle of many intricate moving parts, as many others do in our country of various types of personal trials. Less than 9 months ago my wife Jackie and myself went through a miscarriage, and emergency surgery. Now, in less than 6 days my 3 year old son Caleb, will have to undergo his 3rd open heart surgery-the fontan. I often am reminded of a scripture below, that I have come to realize is my life verse.
“or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Three times I pleaded with him...not a “coincidence.” So today as I sit here, as a father, husband, protector, and provider I try to contemplate what Monday is going to be like... I can sit in anguish and terror and be immobilized and apathetic (essentially being abandoning as the best advocate my son has) or I can be vigilant! - My ducks are all in a row, I have researched over years, and months the best hospital in the state, the best cardiothoracic surgeon available, and the best cardiologist... we have quarterbacked all the arrangements for our second older son Elijah to be cared for as he cannot be with us in the hospital for over 10 or more inpatient days, and only 2 caregivers can be present. We have been jumping through all of the pre-operative hoops such as cardiac mri under anesthesia 3 weeks ago, a cardiac catheterization last Wednesday, and now this week meetings and appointments for pre surgical clearance with dentists, nurse practitioners, pediatricians, cardiologists. We have acquired surgical prep medications in the nose 2 times per day, and torturous showers (for a toddler) with antibacterial Hibiclens for 5 days prior to surgery (which was sold out everywhere and we got online). We have been doing dressing changes to the neck and groin from the previous heart cath. Aside from that in the background we have been denied unemployment money with the Michigan unemployment office as I continue to wait for the thousands of dollars that have not been paid out to us. (From my previous furlough as a nurse-related to the pandemic for closure of the operating rooms except emergent surgeries). So to cover the costs of life when the government won’t -we cashed in on our life savings and 401k. Monday I just started the painful process of FMLA.
We have physically done all these things.... are you exhausted yet?!? (I am! ) Basically, you get to the moment that our burned out minds point out the reality for our own unique situations. Yours will be different, but for me it’s the thought: “I don’t really have control of anything... from the future of my sons life, my family, my job, my house we just moved into in January, our finances, what else? Hmm... our elections, the pandemic, the riots and violence, the hate...it feels like nothing is in my control!” But, that is FALSE! Faith, is in my control, my attitude is in my control, and living and resting in surrender and peace of God’s incredible GRACE is in my control! He is the ULTIMATE puzzle master and problem solver! So be cautious what you choose to do with those scars, weather they be healed, still happening, or going to be opened back open again... just like Caleb’s chest. Who do you look to in times of trouble? To a loved one or a friend, to a politician, to a habit maybe, an addiction? Ultimately you will never see peace until you submit yourself to God. He knows your heart, and he knows your hurt... Most of all he knows your need, and he fills all voids! He will never leave you or forsake you, but promises he will love and adore you! Give him a chance! All in his perfect timing.
My wife and I are very aware of the power of prayer and, ask all believers to cover our son Caleb and our whole family in prayer. We also ask for prayer over the tactfulness, sharp wisdom, and skill of physicians and nurses who touch our lives through our son’s care. Thank you!! We love and appreciate you all!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
Matthew 11:28-30
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:12-13
“So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”
John 16:22-24