top surgery

m saving up to get top surgery because it is something that I need. My chest is something that causes me dysphoria (dysphoria is when you feel a disconnect between your brain and your body). Dysphoria is not just not liking your body. My chest isn’t something that I can just workout and feel better about. I’m not getting top surgery just so I like my chest more cosmetically. Top surgery is something that I need and will give me a higher quality of life. Growing up I always had this fascination and vision in my head of a shirt laying flat against me. I thought I just wanted to be thin but no matter how much weight I lost I never felt what I was searching for. The whole time it was really just wanting to have a boys chest. Some people might say that getting top surgery and transitioning is just giving into societal norms. Even if that is true, if I were to withhold transitioning from myself I would be keeping things and feelings that I’ve been searching for my entire life from myself. Top surgery and hormones are important to me because those are things that I can use to alleviate the majority of my dysphoria. With that being said, there’s some things that I will most likely never get to feel and experience in life, like that relationship with my father. And with where things are at right now medically I might always have extreme bottom dysphoria. So, for me top surgery is like a little slice of something I’ve been trying to feel my whole life.