top surgery

I've put this request off for a long time because I wanted to try to do it myself. I am insanely blessed by so many good people in my life. It's so hard to ask for your help, but I'm going to anyway.  I've really tried to make an effort to get this done myself. The gatekeeping on affirming care for our community is pretty harsh. I need some help.  If you can donate to my surgery any amount is appreciated truly, 5 dollars will help get me there or share this post as many times as you feel comfortable. I've known my body didn't reflect who I was inside, from the moment I was gifted my first training bra at the age of 14. The possibility of ever being able to find a way for me to look on the outside as I felt on the inside seemed like a dream.  I tried to make myself fit in as much as I could. I was met with so much violence, judgment, hatred, and condemnation. That would have been 1986 and we are still fighting for equality and safe spaces. LGBTQIA2+ people in my community were described with foul adjectives and the threat of violence if they didn't conform to the binary that society set up for us. I'm not here to share my whole life story.  Many of you who are reading this already know it or at least parts of it. I will share that walking around in a body that doesn't reflect who I am is crippling emotionally. I have struggled with severe depression, self-hatred, and thoughts of self-harm around having breasts.  I have been wearing a constrictive binder for more than 7 years now and my body just doesn't hold up well to it anymore. It's super hot and often painful but without it, I feel very self-conscious. I just want to move freely in the world and feel comfortable in my body. I'd also like to swim. There has never been a time since puberty that I have felt shame about my body and swimming, which is one of my favorite things to do. You all wouldn't know that because I don't feel comfortable going, so anytime I have been asked or invited to swim I usually decline. So, all I can say is that getting top surgery is going to be the best thing that I have ever done for myself in my life and I cannot wait.

I've taken a job in Maine for the next couple of months to stash some cash for my surgery. I was hoping to have a consultation soon but my recent experiences both with a therapist here and a doctor have proven not to be going in the direction I'd hoped. I don't have a number for the full cost of the surgery yet but it typically ranges from 3000 to 12000 depending on all kinds of things, including aftercare. I will be happy with any support and any amount even as little as 5$ would help. Any amount over the cost of my care, I will donate to another person who is seeking the same affirming care. If you know someone who would benefit from that please let me know. I'm going to leave this up until I'm done with my job in Maine which will last until the first week of September. Please don't feel any pressure to donate and if you do just know I am super grateful. Much love my people, thank you for always seeing me.