*** updated 2/22/2023 See below ***

Hi, I (Andrea) am starting this Go Fund Me for a friend who is actively fleeing an abusive marriage with her young child. I am pasting her story below so she remains anonymous. Please feel free to help with any amount possible, even $5-10 helps! Please share with everyone that you can so we can help keep this mama and her daughter 

*** updated 2/22/2023 ***

 Single mom in DV shelter to the sweetest little girl recently diagnosed with autism. Currently unable to work full time since I have no childcare and I am waiting for my little ones evaluations/test results. To start we need to attend speech therapy, cognitive therapy, and occupational therapy 2x per week so roughly 6 hours per week. Once enrolled in Pre-K, she will have these services for free. Currently waiting for IEP for this to happen.

 I (mom) will be the only one doing drop off/pick up for the approximate 6ish hours of therapy that will be starting before we are placed into a PreK. I am aggressively applying to p/t positions that are flexible since I don’t know what the schedule will be like for therapy. Once all of that is figured out I can secure a permanent job and hopefully never have to worry about going through this again. I have already filed for child support but of course I am getting a lot of disagreements and so I am waiting for the court to step in and make their final decision.  

I am doing everything on my own and I just want to make sure that everything is is place, set my little one up for success, and have everything needed even though I know right now I am in a very difficult position and cannot provide what I need to provide financially. 

Please consider helping in any way that you can. 

 CAR REPAIR ITEMS NEEDED BY 3/1: 

Replace Ignition Coils 

 Replace Car Key Fob Battery 

 Tuneup/Oil Change 

 ITEMS NEEDED FOR CHILD: 

* PECS SYSTEM 

*  SENSORY PROCESSING TOYS 

* TOILETRIES and DIAPERS (Size 7) 

 OTHER NECESSITIES 

* Hotspot for shelter $60 so I can apply for WFH positions

 * CAR NOTE My family is going to help me refinance but it’s under my grandmothers name and she needs to be with me in person (she lives in another state) 

* Car Insurance $130

 * Cell $85 

 *****

⭐️We know people have been asking if they can purchase gift cards for her, donate clothing, pull-ups, buy groceries, etc. ABSOLUTELY! If you would rather do an E-Gift Card that will also help her out tremendously and we can provide an email)

There was a comment on an anonymous post she made where she stated that she usually would get all their necessities from:

-Target (more for her daughter since they have the products for her skin and stomach sensitivity she’s been using for years)

-Amazon (for Amazon Fresh and other necessities she can get cheaper than in some stores)

-Walmart/Food Lion (For most of her grocery shopping)

-Lowes Grocery (for the organic products she buys for her daughters sensitive stomach. Apparently this is the ONLY place that sells her yogurt at a decent price and everywhere else is outrageously expensive for something so small)

-Gas Cards (shell, Sheetz, QT, 7/11, BP, etc.)

**this is an UPDATED VERSION since there are things she just found from this past Saturday to Tuesday (10/22/22-10/25/22)

Her story:

She is now a newly single mom fleeing an emotional, mental, and financial domestic abuse situation. Unfortunately, all DV shelters in the area and up to a 3 hour drive (ALL NC DV shelters in Wake, Orange, Franklin, etc.) are full. She has been calling each of these shelter 3 times a day as instructed by her advocate at Interact and an advocate at Oak City Cares since they said availability changes daily. She has also called Compass (in Orange County) and other shelters and even though they are full she was told that because she is in Wake county they wouldn’t be able to take her even with other shelters calling on her behalf.

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

❌❌HOUSING❌❌

She is currently at an Extended Stay until SATURDAY 11/05/22. After that she will have to look for another place to stay with her daughter. She has been hopping from 1 hotel to the next for 3 weeks. This has only been possible through the donations received and through 2 moms who have either booked her a room for a few days or has her stay in their Airbnb when it was vacant and there was no reservation for those 2 days. We have had wonderful moms help put her up in hotels so she isn’t forced to sleep in her car in a “well lit” parking lot (as an advocate from a place that we will not name told her to do).

Why did I start this GoFundMe:

This GFM was started so I can help her afford basic necessities for her and her daughter.

THESE EXPENSES ARE:

*An extended-stay hotel that has a kitchenette and possible free breakfast for a few of weeks (so she won’t have to worry about at least 1 meal per day, (hopefully get her SNAP application approved ASAP) get groceries to cook meals to eliminate the cost of eating out

*Her car note which hasn’t been paid this month. She is currently behind but if she can make 2 payments the bank that finances the car is willing to work with her by pushing payments out for a couple of months given the situation.

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

*SPARK PLUGS HAVE BEEN CHANGED!

*Replacing her tires. Hopefully we can raise enough for her to be able to change her 2 back tires since they are bald. (Once her car has at least 2 new tires she can drive back to where she is fleeing from with a police escort to grab the item she had no choice but to leave behind. There was no way furniture and other items she had to leave behind were going to fit in her or her friend’s car who drove over 2 hours to help her leave)

***STORAGE UNIT! If she could pay for at least 4-6 months upfront at $60-$70 she will be set with that. She will have some furniture of her own when she is able to get place and not have to completely start from scratch having to spend more money than necessary on those items.

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

***She is now in need of a lawyer so this is a new expense that she thought she wouldn’t have since she was/is a SAHM and was told Legal Aid could represent her. (More info on this below)

Besides the major necessary expenses listed above I’d like for her to have enough money to be able to buy:

*Pull-ups/Diapers and wipes

*Warm clothing/footwear for her daughter and herself (especially with this surprise cold front we’ve been having)

*Groceries for her and her daughter. They both have sensitive stomachs and can’t eat certain things. (SNAP HAS ALREADY DONE HER PHONE INTERVIEW)

*Necessary toiletries for both of them (bath soap, toothbrushes/toothpaste, deodorant, feminine products, shampoo/conditioner).

Her little one has EXTREMELY sensitive skin so she only buys a few select brands so she doesn’t break out in hives or have her eczema flare up again.

*Gas to get her to and from court, job interviews, her daughter’s speech and cognitive therapy, medical appointments for both her daughter and herself, meetings with lawyer, getting to and from where she will be staying, etc.

Her husband cut her off on 10/10/22 from any and all bank accounts, cut off her car insurance without telling her (which she had to create a new account for), had not paid her car note which he said he was going to do and now she’s behind, all of her credit cards are all maxed out because he only allowed her to pay minimum payments of $35-$50 on her cards and since none of them have been paid they are all either over the limit or have been closed so she has no access to any of them anymore. SHE DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO ANY OF HER CREDIT CARDS DUE TO NONPAYMENT AND MOST HAVE BEEN CLOSED ANS SENT TO COLLECTIONS BECAUSE OF THIS. He has been harassing her via text and her family (but he sent messages and then unsent them so there are multiple notifications in that message thread saying “XX has removed this message). She has been taking and keeping all screenshots and recording all conversations to print and out on a thumb drive as proof for her hearing Friday 10/28/22.

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/28/22❌❌❌

She was granted her 1 year DVPO today!! He is not allowed within 100 yards of her (and her daughter since they are always together) If granted visitation geos not to be within 25 feet of her but she is going for full custody with supervised visits.

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

*UPDATE FOR USE OF FUNDS SECTION*

Since legal aid expressed they cannot represent her and sent her an email stating why she now needs to find a DA/DV advocate and a lawyer and unfortunately has to pay out of pocket since legal aid will not help. Unfortunately lawyers are expensive but even if she could do a 30 min free consultations with family court lawyers and a criminal law lawyers to gather all the info she needs to make a decision that’s better than nothing. Whoever she decides to follow through with after the consultations will need to be paid for their time. This will most likely be the most expensive expense she will incur and is one of the top 5 most necessary expenses she will have during this uphill battle.

These top 5 things she needs financial help with are:

-hotel/housing

-groceries

-replacing2 tires for reliable transportation

-being able to take her daughter to her therapy for her developmental delays

**-and the last MAJOR necessity she needs is financial help to obtain good legal representation.

WHAT SHE HAS DONE SO FAR FOR HELP:

*Contacted and did the intake process with Coordinated Entry so she can be on every DV shelter waitlist (there is a very long wait and backlog due to COVID)

* Filed an emergency DVPO (which was not granted as an emergency and she now has a hearing later this month with another judge to determine if this is in fact Domestic Abuse

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/28/22❌❌❌

1 year DVPO was granted!

* Applied for Work First (she has already had her first appointment with her caseworker. This program will make sure go after him for child support but will take some time like everything else since certain steps need to be completed first).

* Applied for EMERGENCY WIC & SNAP (formerly know as food stamps. But again, was told approval can take up to 30 days)

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

She was contacted 10/24/22 by Wake County DSS and was told if she is approved she should receive her approval letter and her EBT card in 7-10 business days.

* Filed paperwork for several different referrals at Oak City Cares and was told she can go there for emergency overnight shelter. Unfortunately the info they gave her was incorrect and that emergency shelter is only for men. However, they were able to help her with a lot of resources to look into and resources they could help get started for her. They approved her on their end by determining the situation she is in warrants needing emergency help and sent out referrals to other resources that can help her but just like Work First and SNAP they take time to be approved.

* Drove to and called The Women's Center and Helen Wright for shelter (however they do not accept children under 18)

*She has been working with Interact since 10/10/22 trying to get any and all info for resources that she may be eligible for (their DV shelter is full) but after the initial visit and a few other day visits they told her they’ve done everything they can for her and to keep calling the list of shelters they gave her everyday twice a day

*She has been going to food pantries for non perishables

❌❌❌UPDATE AS OF 10/25/22❌❌❌

*Contacted legal aid 10/18/22 and left a message for a call back. When she was contacted late last week she was basically told there are 5 things/circumstances they go by for Domestic Abuse/DV and she only meets ONE of them and it’s the “lowest priority” circumstance since she wasn’t physically abused or directly threatened with physical harm.