I need your help!

I have not been able to work for months and months. I am finally through my savings now and I am in a full-on panic...

However, I awoke today with a new sense of hope. To be clear, my life has been very difficult these last few years and all hope seemed lost. Starting with my heart problems a few years back, and now, I am literally struggling to breath. I have severe COPD, which is a progressive pulmonary disease with no cure. 

My condition is advancing rapidly to the dismay of doctors. Apparently, I'm "too young" to be experiencing this.. I've had several doctors say this at first. One even saying my only hope is to move to a dry/less extreme climate. (Which may indeed be true but how am I suppose to accomplish that when I cannot work) I know/think they were TRYING to comfort me but it came off as incredibly dismissive.

I know its taboo to talk about mental health but mine is tenuous at best. It becomes much worse with the uncertainty of homelessness and other financial hardships swirling around in my head.  This panic is much like the feeling of not being able to breath that riddles my waking life called dyspnea. It becomes very difficult to gauge if I'm experiencing COPD symptoms or having a panic attack or even cardiac arrest. Its all so tiring and miserable, that I often question why I am even here.

Throw in an untimely insurance change that has seriously hindered my current treatment mixed with extreme weather that increases my COPD symptoms and I am flattened... without hope.

Except I am not without hope! I have so much more life I intend to live. I have so many creative endeavors left to share. I want to live! I want to sing again! This is a serious contrast to my mental state most days. Like I said earlier, I woke up with a new sense of hope. I know the power of my tribe!

Asking for help is f#$%ing hard! But I believe you must tell the universe what you need.. and I need your help!

Much love,

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Eric Myers 
Columbia, MO
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