From Caregiving to Cancer: Dekan needs your help

Hi, I am Dekan. Thank you so much for your consideration. For the past few years I have been taking care of my father, who had Parkinson’s and heart disease. I couldn’t bring myself to put him in a home, so I was taking care of him full-time, while also running my small first aid business and being a single father.

Things were going okay and we were relatively happy until I started feeling sick in August. After months of uncertainty my medical team identified my health problem: cancer.

Over the next few months, my illness progressed and my pain increased; at the same time, my dad's health began rapidly deteriorating. It became impossible to manage him, my pain, and the physical and mental necessities of my business simultaneously. Eventually I had to quit my single-person business altogether in order to focus on my health and take care of my dad.

In December I received some good news - that I would have surgery at the end of January to remove my tumor. It was major surgery and the recovery time was expected to be long and slow, so I made plans for my Dad to go to a care facility for the month of February so I could focus on recovering, healing, and getting my strength back.

Three days after my surgery, while still at the hospital recovering, I received a call: my dad had been admitted to Emergency. It turned out to be the same hospital I was in, so I was able to waddle my way down to see him. Doctors informed me that he had fallen at his care facility and had a concussion, his dementia even worse than before. Newly out of surgery, I pushed through my discomfort and did what I could to help advocate for him and his healthcare.

However, while in hospital he contracted pneumonia, and finally, after a week, he went into kidney failure. At this time I made the decision to take him off life support. He passed away with my sister and I at his side.

Today, a month later, my world has been shaken. I’m struggling with everything going on at once, and haven't had time to heal, grieve, and process everything that has happened. I still have appointments to assess the state of my body, with further scans and treatments ahead. My parenting responsibilities occupy my free time. I won’t be able to restart and rebuild my business for some time, as I’m unable to perform the physical tasks required to teach first aid.

All of this is why I am here, asking for help to support myself for the next few months while I recover. To be honest with you, it is really hard for me to ask for help. I’ve been super independent and self-reliant my entire life; I am a very private person, but circumstances these past few months have made life exceptionally hard, and I really need some help.

For any donation, I would be super grateful. I know times are hard for a lot of people, but if you have the means to help out even a little, it would go a long way and mean so much to me.

Thanks for listening,

Dekan