Going Home

Hi - I'm Sarah and I'm writing on behalf of myself, my son (Austin) and our dog (Shelby). On April 1, 2023 I had worked hard enough to have saved the money, health and spirit to move my son and I from the small one-bedroom apartment we'd been sharing for two years since moving to Sioux Falls.

I'm a single mom and a teacher and the rent was just a bit higher than I felt comfortable with so I made the decision to take a roommate for the first year. I had such joy and pride in my heart - after a hard road from KC to Sioux Falls, with the help of so many, I'd finally be able to give my son the life and home he deserves.

That turned out to be the worst decision I've made.

Despite vetting and checking and believing I'd done the best to make sure my son and I would be safe, the roommate turned out to be a monster.

Instead of moving our things in as he offered he only moved his and left us with three bins of clothes and some books and toys. He told me we had only junk and deserved better and he wouldn't bring anything so trashy into his home.

We had one week of peace in our home. The following week began a two month terrifying existence of threats, violence, destruction and a slow diminishing of any semblance of security and safety we'd known. By the 1st of May the police had been to our home twice and the harassment had escalated.

Despite pictures, notes and other evidence of the nightmare we were living in, the police heard a different story from the man and I was told there was nothing they could do. They suggested I take my son to a hotel until school ended or stay with family. I didn't have the funds or family to make that happen and so we stayed.

Things continued to escalate. And on the 28th of April he told me he was not paying rent and became physical.

With help from an amazing landlord who gave me the cash and friends guiding me, I drew up a contract May 5, offering the man the deposit funds back in exchange for leaving us alone. He'd claimed I had taken his money and that's why he was squatting and not paying rent. He signed the document, took the money, didn't pay rent or utilities and continued his threats and insane behavior, day and night. He didn't leave.

We did the best we could to stay out of his way until 5/26 (the last day of school, I just wanted to get through school).

Our life became contained in a single room of our house as the madness circled us day and night. I began the process of obtaining a protection order that day and tried to shield Austin as best I could. I began carrying a knife and mace for protection and instructed the neighbors of what to do if Austin came to them in the middle of the night asking for help. The police came. Again nothing.

We made a trip to KC to get a good night sleep for Mother's Day and returned to find the things he'd told us he didn't move from our old home were now for sale and on display in our garage. The house had been reorganized and our one peaceful room in shambles.

He'd left more notes and knives around the house. And he'd taken a dry-erase marker and marked the areas of each room we were allowed to be in. He blocked entry and exit to the home through a small narrow path we had to use, right past a chair he waited for us to walk by.

On the 20th of May he came at me physically again, and this time my son heard and saw the tail end. He had people coming to the house all weekend, more of our things being sold and a constant chatter of names and threats rang throughout the day and night.

I laid in bed on that Sunday night (the 21st) and realized I'd become the toad in boiling water - sitting right in the middle of danger and not realizing the heat was slowly rising. I didn't believe calling the police again would do anything except make things worse and he reminded me he knew how to talk to them.

I dropped Austin at school on Monday the 22nd and drove to a women's shelter his teacher had referred us to. I had gone to them earlier in the month for help with the protection order and they told me to stay there - I chose to go home, thinking I was surely over-reacting and he would be gone soon.

Those patterns of thought that had accompanied me my entire life jumped in and took over.

I brought the new pictures, notes and videos from the weekend and the shelter as well as CPS said the house was not safe and although they couldn't make us stay with them it would become a CPS case if we left. Lost, broken, scared and without choice I said yes and we were placed in protective shelter that day.

The police met me at the house, gave me 10 minutes to grab the dog and whatever things we deemed necessary. The man was there and telling the police a new tale of what was going on. They rushed me along and asked the roommate if it was ok I was taking the dog. I've never felt so detached, devalued and alone.

Since the 22nd we have been living in shelter in Sioux Falls. We are being provided everything we need and counseling as well as help finding a new spot and continuing our healing after we leave.

On the 30th of May the Emergency Stalking and Protection Order was granted and he was finally served and removed from our home last Sunday evening.

The path here was one I never dreamed. And as both Austin and I unpack what we've been through there are good days and not so good days. We're just beginning to assess the loss of our things, but it's the inner stuff that matters and those wounds are deep.

The healing is deeper. And I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. God's kept us close and remains our strength.This is the hardest experience of my life and the guilt for what I've put my son through is I overwhelming, but the love is stronger and the days are getting brighter.

We have been told there is a different home our landlord has available on July 1, and we are in shelter until July 1. I sat down and tried to see how to make the finances work and it's not possible.

There simply aren't enough hours for me to work between now and then. And when I add up replacing everything, continuing counseling, paying off the debts from the old house, legal fees and moving fees - I can't do it. So many of you have told me to do this, and one of my healing steps is to listen and lean on those folks I trust and know - so here I go.

I have put $5000 down but anything helps honestly. The funds will be used to pay off the previous home and make-good with the landlord who's turned out to be a guardian angel, get health insurance for myself back (I made the choice in May to use that money to pay for expenses for the house instead), get Austin a bed so he has one at the new house, legal fees, and to cover some of what I lost in missing three weeks of work. I am happy to provide a detailed list and if there is something in particular you want your funds used for I will honor that (Austin really wants braids this Summer and a friend said she would love a donation for that.).

- honestly for having made a career writing words - these just feel clunky and weird. But here we go.

I know everyone has their pain and money is tight so please no expectations and know I wouldn't do this if I didn't need to. If you have any questions please let me know - and thanks for being there for us.