Drowning. . .please help!!

Those of you who know me know that I NEVER ask for help.  Something in me is too proud and independent.  You also know that I don't broadcast my personal business so this is doubly hard for me.

I lost my dream job at the end of May.  I haven't worked in almost 5 months, the longest I've ever been unemployed since I was 19 years old.  I've applied to literally hundreds of jobs that I'm qualified for and haven't found anything yet.  A few things looked really good but then didn't pan out for reasons unknown to me.  Unemployment was a joke, paying me enough to pay my rent plus have $20 per month to feed my kids, pay my utilities and carnote and live off of.  So I started supplementing my income with Amazon Flex in August.  But if you earn your own money, Unemployment deducts for what you've earned.  Since I was making more with Amazon Flex, I continued doing that. . .delivering packages for 6-8 hours a day, 7 days a week just to tread water.

I was informed this morning that I had too many complaints of packages not reaching the customer.  I've disputed the claim since, as those who know me are aware, I don't do anything half-ass and have done everything I'm supposed to.  My statistics show this as I have maintained a 100% reliability rating.  But they will take 2-3 weeks to review my dispute and get back to me. . .14-21 days that I can't earn any money!!!

My rent is only partially paid for this month, my carnote is months behind, my car registration is coming due, they're going to auction off my storage facility in 16 days if I don't pay $600, I have to keep my cell phone on for people to reach me about jobs (if anything ever comes up) and to be able to keep in touch/track of my kids and the cable, internet and landline were cut off 2 months ago (making my online class a bit difficult but Starbucks and the public library are lifesavers!!!)  Denied financial aid, I had my mom pay for my last semester of school (which I've been paying on my own since 2015).  I've done Uber in the past but am ineligible right now because I need new tires and won't pass the vehicle inspection.  

Someone suggested I start a Go Fund Me Campaign.  At first I wouldn't even consider it because I. . .just don't put my business out there like that.  But I really don't know what else to do right now and I'm desperate.  I feel like I've done everything the way I'm "supposed to" and am still unable to get my head above water.  I'm trying really hard not to lose my faith and I work really hard to hide my depression from, mostly my kids, but everyone.  That's why you haven't seen me on social media in awhile.  

Some of you may have seen Erika's posts and are thinking, "But she's going to Japan".  Yes, I purchased non-refundable airfare in February with my tax return while I was still working.  I feel slightly guilty now but what can I do???  Thank goodness I got such a good price on it.  :-/

I know this is nothing compared to some of the things others are dealing with in the world right now, but it's very real and an every day struggle for me.  So I'm finally reaching out for help.  If you have the ability, every little bit helps and will be appreciated more than you'll ever know or realize.

Thank you for your time and have a great day.
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Organizer

Christina McCrary 
Organizer
Inglewood, CA
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