Joan Gibbs Vaughan
Donation protected
Joni Gibbs-Vaughan
I received some very bad news yesterday... and after I was told the news... someone I love asked me "How I can still have faith? Look at what it's got you! With all that you have been through and for being dirt poor for over 30 years... how can you still have faith?" (Sometimes those that love & try to protect us most..ask the most intense of questions. And there's no judgement in asking.) So before I reveal the bad news I received... let me first tell you All how I can still have faith!
Because despite everything.. every challenge.. I've been given.. I can still see the blessings! I can still feel the unconditional love!
I did not deserve the beautiful children that I have... nor the beautiful grandchildren that I have! But each of them have taught me things & blessed my life in countless ways! They are blessings to me!
I have been blessed by sisters and their families..who have seen me through everything I was never quite sure I could get through. And even while going through their own times of grief or worry... came to help me get through mine! Again they were all undeserved... but they are blessings!
If I could count all the blessings of family and friends that have touched my life... put a smile on my face... or left an imprint on my heart... the number would surely outnumber the stars in the sky! They are blessings!
I sought love..the soulmate kind of love over the years... and even though I wasn't destined to find that forever soulmate kind of love... I was blessed to find men that showed me their heart for short or long periods of time. Each taught me something about life or love. They are blessings!
I held many different jobs over my life. I sometimes made the mistake of putting job loyalty above my family... thinking it would better us in the long run.. (and for the record it didn't.) But in each of these jobs.. I met people.. who touched my life... in ways I never expected. They are blessings!
And above all else.. through thick and thin... I undeservedly was unconditionally loved by God the Father, His son Jesus, & too many realms of the angels to count! They held my hand.. when my son died...for I couldn't understand why he was leaving. But they assured me that some day I would know why.
They held my hand through the terror of heart attacks... through the kidney cancer... through the brain tumor removal...& through each time I'm currently laid up with my degenerative back or renal issues. They see me through the pain.. by reminding me of my blessings! They don't see me for all the mistakes I've made.. or my shortcomings..or all the questions I've asked. Luckily they just see the love in my heart... and my desires for everyone to feel that same kind of love! They are blessings!
My toughest challenges... are not the ones you'd think. It's my inability to do things for people the way I want to. It breaks my heart... when I can't provide a present on a birthday, flowers when someone needs to boost, or even a simple card to say thank you to someone who was kind. I want to be the person people can turn to in times of need...& know that I will be able to help them. Yet all I can offer these days seems to be a smile. And those that love me through these shortcomings...they are blessings!
Now for the bad news... (which is trying to wipe my smile away...but I will try my best not to let it.)
I have been trying for over 2 years to get approved for disability. I try not to let all of you know what's completely going on with me physically... because I want folks to be happy..not bummed. There are people who deal with far worse in this world...and I don't want people to associate my name with pity...just smiles! So here comes the bad news...My disability case after months of waiting since the hearing... was declared unfavorable. I will not receive benefits. The reason this is such bad news... is because over the past two years... a dear friend was able to loan me money to pay for living expenses. Allowing me to keep my daughter & I with a place to live. The funds this person was using as a loan... ran dry last month. I was planning on disability back pay.. to repay that loan & other smaller ones accrued to get money for everyday extras... but now I can't even do that. I'm facing the loss of my apartment, vehicle, and ever so much more! But despite this all..the one thing... that can never be taken.. is my Faith! If I had a dollar for every blessing in my life... I'd be richer than any person on earth... in worldly values. But I already know I'm one of the richest of souls in God's eyes.. because of my blessings, and I thank you all for being counted amongst my treasure! May you keep your faith as well. Never let go! And to my family and friends who are stressing once again, because of something going on with me.. I'm sorry.. please don't stress.. just pray & believe! God bless you all! ((Hugs)) love blessings n smiles to you!
I received some very bad news yesterday... and after I was told the news... someone I love asked me "How I can still have faith? Look at what it's got you! With all that you have been through and for being dirt poor for over 30 years... how can you still have faith?" (Sometimes those that love & try to protect us most..ask the most intense of questions. And there's no judgement in asking.) So before I reveal the bad news I received... let me first tell you All how I can still have faith!
Because despite everything.. every challenge.. I've been given.. I can still see the blessings! I can still feel the unconditional love!
I did not deserve the beautiful children that I have... nor the beautiful grandchildren that I have! But each of them have taught me things & blessed my life in countless ways! They are blessings to me!
I have been blessed by sisters and their families..who have seen me through everything I was never quite sure I could get through. And even while going through their own times of grief or worry... came to help me get through mine! Again they were all undeserved... but they are blessings!
If I could count all the blessings of family and friends that have touched my life... put a smile on my face... or left an imprint on my heart... the number would surely outnumber the stars in the sky! They are blessings!
I sought love..the soulmate kind of love over the years... and even though I wasn't destined to find that forever soulmate kind of love... I was blessed to find men that showed me their heart for short or long periods of time. Each taught me something about life or love. They are blessings!
I held many different jobs over my life. I sometimes made the mistake of putting job loyalty above my family... thinking it would better us in the long run.. (and for the record it didn't.) But in each of these jobs.. I met people.. who touched my life... in ways I never expected. They are blessings!
And above all else.. through thick and thin... I undeservedly was unconditionally loved by God the Father, His son Jesus, & too many realms of the angels to count! They held my hand.. when my son died...for I couldn't understand why he was leaving. But they assured me that some day I would know why.
They held my hand through the terror of heart attacks... through the kidney cancer... through the brain tumor removal...& through each time I'm currently laid up with my degenerative back or renal issues. They see me through the pain.. by reminding me of my blessings! They don't see me for all the mistakes I've made.. or my shortcomings..or all the questions I've asked. Luckily they just see the love in my heart... and my desires for everyone to feel that same kind of love! They are blessings!
My toughest challenges... are not the ones you'd think. It's my inability to do things for people the way I want to. It breaks my heart... when I can't provide a present on a birthday, flowers when someone needs to boost, or even a simple card to say thank you to someone who was kind. I want to be the person people can turn to in times of need...& know that I will be able to help them. Yet all I can offer these days seems to be a smile. And those that love me through these shortcomings...they are blessings!
Now for the bad news... (which is trying to wipe my smile away...but I will try my best not to let it.)
I have been trying for over 2 years to get approved for disability. I try not to let all of you know what's completely going on with me physically... because I want folks to be happy..not bummed. There are people who deal with far worse in this world...and I don't want people to associate my name with pity...just smiles! So here comes the bad news...My disability case after months of waiting since the hearing... was declared unfavorable. I will not receive benefits. The reason this is such bad news... is because over the past two years... a dear friend was able to loan me money to pay for living expenses. Allowing me to keep my daughter & I with a place to live. The funds this person was using as a loan... ran dry last month. I was planning on disability back pay.. to repay that loan & other smaller ones accrued to get money for everyday extras... but now I can't even do that. I'm facing the loss of my apartment, vehicle, and ever so much more! But despite this all..the one thing... that can never be taken.. is my Faith! If I had a dollar for every blessing in my life... I'd be richer than any person on earth... in worldly values. But I already know I'm one of the richest of souls in God's eyes.. because of my blessings, and I thank you all for being counted amongst my treasure! May you keep your faith as well. Never let go! And to my family and friends who are stressing once again, because of something going on with me.. I'm sorry.. please don't stress.. just pray & believe! God bless you all! ((Hugs)) love blessings n smiles to you!
Organizer
Chris Gibbs
Organizer
Wichita, KS