Tricia’s IVF crowdfunding

Ever since I could remember, my dream was and has always been to become a mother. Ask anyone. From my teachers. My childhood friends. My relatives. Perhaps even strangers. I wanted to be a mom. I watched as my siblings had one child after another while I struggled with infertility due to the complex nature of my endometriosis. 

Even though endometriosis is not the kind of illness that reduces your lifespan, you still feel like you’re being cheated out of your own existence. It’s a disease that is not manifested physically and each flare up takes a physical, emotional and mental toll on you. 

I have stage IV endometriosis. I’ve suffered in silence since 2005; had 3 surgeries since then and in August of 2020 I was left with a life changing decision: remove my ovaries and end my chances of ever having a child or pursue IVF (with no guarantee of a child) but continue on having excruciating pain. And so in December of 2020 my partner and I exhausted all our means to finally go through IVF. We were thrilled to know that we had a fighting chance but our dreams were shattered when both transfers failed; one of which resulted in the miscarriage of our twins. 

 

My dream of having a family seemed like it was over. The grief of losing our babies and possibly never having any of our own was intense. I had to stop, I just couldn’t do it anymore and was completely exhausted. I had to find my own road to healing. I felt like my life was passing me by and I had no compass, no control over what was happening, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel and no end to this nightmare.

 

Day after day I wake up playing Russian roulette with my pain. Will I have it today? Will it be a good day today? The pain, combined with cocktails of medications, is taking a toll on me and mentally I was struggling. I am prolonging the pain because I want to have children. I can’t see my life without a child in it.

 

This is our last shot. Before I turn 40 I would like to give it everything I have to make my dream of being a mother come true. I’ve battled with myself on deciding to do crowdfunding knowing that other people have their own issues to deal with but I’m hoping and praying that this gives us a good jumping point to start again. No donation is too small and any prayers offered our way is greatly appreciated. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read about my journey. It hasn’t been easy but I know it’s a journey I want to keep fighting for. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me ❤️

 

Sincerely,

Patricia Bugayong Reyes