Medical

If you're reading this, I convinced myself to post so it means I am at my most vulnerable. Please keep the judgment to yourself please.

Writing this has my stomach in knots, and I want to throw up because I feel so embarrassed, and the words. "I need help" definitely makes me want to complete the throwing up process.

but it is true, " I need help."

Some might know a little of my story, but most don't know it all. I have spent most of my adult life trying to be so "strong" that needing help just wasn't an option or in my vocabulary.

The last two years have been difficult to say the least, but I really thought I was on the right track till 6 months ago my health both physical and mental have declined drastically.

In February while on the job I felt a pop in my spine and lost feeling in my legs. I reported it to my supervisor and to my primary care doctor and both blew me off. The supervisor told me if the injury was going to require time off from work it would be an occurrence and as a new employee three occurrences led to termination pretty quickly. My primary care doctor said it must be my RA flaring up and just increased the dosage of prednisone I had already been taking daily for over a year.

As a single mom not working is never an option so I continued to work in the pain which has led to me falling and hitting my head 5 times as well as the loss of feeling and ability to walk twice in my legs.

I am still recovering from having cancer removed from my breast and a full hysterectomy two years ago. So, these additional issues I was not prepared for. I am also navigating through some pretty severe PTSD issuse from my past and recent relationship. After having a person who you loved and they say they love you watch you and stalk you, I still do not trust myself to trust again.

I took a job with a local hospital for insurance purposes because my medical bills were piling up, I had no idea that working for a hospital would actually cause me more physical pain let alone mental distress as it has.

In February I found a new rheumatologist that finally was able to say "No " these other symptoms you have been experiencing have nothing to do with your auto immune disorders and she referred me to a pain specialist. After numerous MRIs of my body and brain it has been found that my neck is curved in the wrong direction, and I have 2 mm of slippage in two areas.

To explain it for others to understand the Dr has said " Imagine having your head down for too long like on a computer or something and that ache and pain that normal people feel, that is what I feel at all times. " And it is. I feel like I can't hold my head up ever, and trying causes me to have nonstop headaches.

My lower back has degenerated disc disease and bulging discs to the point that neither sitting nor standing bring relief. Laying down being able to adjust with pillows does. My right knee needs to be replaced but because of my age the ortho surgeon wants me to try knee injections that usually fail and cost out of pocket. It is more about money for them over relief for me.

Due to trauma endured over the years my brain MRI have shown concerns and have been referred to UW neurology as well.

So, in June to prevent becoming paralyzed and continued damage to the shoulder, hip and knee that also need surgeries. My care team signed me out of work till further assessment.

Since June I have had 36 in person appointments with care team. That have included multiple MRIS, Arthrograms, Diagnostic injections, Infusions, Toradol injections. 8 Virtual appointments with specialist at UW and weekly counseling appointments. I also have monthly infusions for rheumatoid arthritis.

In June I started receiving payments from Washington state paid family leave, but the payments have barely covered my rent. I have been looking for a cheaper place to rent but have not been able to find and even though my current landlords have been aware of my situation they raised my rent by $200.

I have applied for housing assistance, but since I am not a person who is in an active addiction or have multiple kids, resources are not available.

So here I am.... as the "advocate" the enforcer of someone who is always saying to be your authentic self, be vulnerable. Here I stand before you all, some friends some strangers but people who have said they want to help or have asked how to help.

I just found out today that my employer will not be picking up the payments I am still needing for recovery. For the last month they have been telling me "Oops my bad" but that not to worry and to proceed with surgeries as planned. I had surgery on Monday that has a recovery time of 6 weeks. Surgeries are still pending for the neck, lower back and knee. At this moment I am out of work till middle of October, but chances are it will be longer.

I am needing to get to the University of Washington for more testing and scans of my bones and brains. My landlords are threatening me with eviction and adding daily late fees to my rent. The hospital bills are piling up and just the regular things like lights, water, electricity is drowning me on top of needing to provide for myself and my son.

Since June I have emptied my savings and 90-day reserve. I was so proud to have those to lean on considering two years ago I did not.

I am taking advantage of the local food banks, I've contacted the housing authority, 211, St. Vincent de Paul, good will, Compass, this is my last resort for assistance.

I am forever grateful for you all for just reading this and if you can donate you have no idea how grateful and humble, I feel. I am needing help with covering rent for the next three months, medical bills, and cost of living for the kiddo and I.

Anything helps and what is left I would like to donate to another person in need.

Thank you,

Jax