It was over a year ago I first shared with you all, and I am so very grateful for your willingness to let my story open your hearts! It has been a blessing beyond measure to have you all in my life. Your support has enabled me to make remarkable progress in my healing process. In a million years, I would never have thought I would be at this point. It has been a year or so since I started this project and I still haven't reached my funding goal. Once again, I request your support with humble gratitude. I am truly grateful for all your generous contributions, and I appreciate your consideration in the future.
Since my first appeal, I wanted to share the results of my efforts:
- In late, Spring 2022, I released the silence about the sexual assault and attempted to seek justice. I reported the sexual assault to the local police; and after a few months, the DA decided not to pursue criminal charges.
- The California Victims Compensation Board denied my initial claim due to the amount of time that had passed since the initial assault.
- In Summer 2022, I contacted nearly 100 lawyers. Unfortunately, I received a high number of rejections, which further aggravated the PTSD/ Major Depression symptoms I was suffering from.
- In Autumn 2022, I became functionally disabled because of the debilitating nature of these symptoms, so on the advice of my doctors, I decided to halt my search for a lawyer until I was mentally strong enough to handle the process without further risk to my life.
- After being laid off due to Covid, I was only eligible for temporary disability benefits that covered barely a fifth of my living costs and chose to use credit cards, etc. to cover my living expenses.
- In January 2023, I began to see progress and was offered two part-time roles: One with a BIPOC dance company and the other with a local tech company.
- In February, I began TMS therapy and, despite not being covered by insurance, my doctor offered a financial arrangement that reduced my costs to less than 5%!
- I also had a life-transforming surgery for a physical health problem caused by the rape 25 years earlier.
- In March, The TMS sessions ended, and for the first time since June 1997, I am living without incapacitating depression symptoms!
- In April, I was laid off from both jobs due to economic downsizing, and as the nature of my contracts prevented me from receiving unemployment benefits.
- Additionally, my landlord informed me that he will not renew my lease (due to the landlord's move-in), and I must vacate by September 1, 2023.
- As of today, I’m knee-deep in my job search and have interviewed for some incredible roles!
Despite that, I have found myself in roughly the same place as I was last year when I first shared my story with you. After being laid off twice, I am in a precarious financial position, lacking the capital to fund my move in September as well as the funding needed for my legal case. In light of the downsizing of the tech industry, I know a lot of people are feeling economic pressure, but I could still use your assistance in the following ways (not all financial):
Funds to pay lawyer retainer (if not pro bono) or to assist with costs if I decide to be a pro se litigants (estimated $4,000)
- Legal advice and/or contacts for pursuing a civil case:
California's law (AB 218) extended the statute of limitations for childhood sexual abuse civil claims. The law allows victims to file lawsuits until they are 40 years old, or within five years of discovering that the abuse caused them psychological injury, even if they are older than 40.
- Find a remote job, so that I can “take it with me” when I move:
- I’m looking to transition into sustainable agriculture, holistic medicine/ wellness.
- If you have any contacts within your network, looking for the following:
- Project and Operations Management, DEI Specialist, People & Culture Manager, and Non-Profit Program Management and Development.
- Any housing assistance to:
- Aid cover back rent (I have until the end of June)
- I applied for a COVID related housing grant, but my landlord is losing patience.
- Moving assistance/ resource:
- 1st, Last, Deposit and transporting my belongings: Estimate $6,000
- Places to rent in Ventura County for Mid-Late September/ October 2023
- I have decided to move from the Bay Area, to be closer to my partner and live in an organic farming community.
- Non-insurance covered treatment for PTSD:
- TMS therapy doesn’t target PTSD related symptoms, unfortunately, but research has shown that psychedelic assisted therapies have been incredibly helpful.
- Current out-of-pocket costs are roughly $1200 for 3 months
If you have any resources to recommend, contacts, etc. all is welcome!
I now understand that the rape I experienced at 15 years old caused me considerable trauma, resulting in a domino effect of consequences I am still coping with today. After experiencing neurological changes that adversely affected my development in biological, social, cognitive, emotional, and spiritual/existential terms, and financial, physical, and psychological hardships that have only recently culminated, I look forward to being freed from this part of my life. Any support you can provide, regardless of form, is important to me in my journey to recovery. Thank you for believing that my life, and my healing journey, matters.
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To those who do not know me, I'm Bebe, and I'm sharing my story with you all in hopes that you can help me in my pursuit to become mentally and emotionally whole again by entering an intensive therapy treatment, pursuing legal closure, and remaining housed and solvent during this time.
Approximately two years ago, I was confronted with repressed memories of being raped by a co-worker: I was 15 and working at my first job at a beloved summer camp. The rapist was an adult male and a cherished staff member, and I was relentlessly bullied for confronting him about what I believed had happened. Facing all of this has been deeply painful, especially when I was contacted by the rapist via social media a few months ago. This encounter spurred me to seek legal action and exponentially increased my Rape Trauma Syndrome/PTSD symptoms. Thankfully, I have an excellent mental health team and have been cleared for a potentially life-changing treatment, TMS therapy, i.e., Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, and a variety of trauma-centered talk therapies. Sadly, this is not covered by my health insurance, and due to the financial devastation of the pandemic, I cannot afford the out-of-pocket expense of $8,600 (one entire cycle of TMS therapy).
Furthermore, since I’ve decided to take legal action against the rapist and my former employer, I have hit a wall regarding affording a lawyer’s retainer: roughly $4,000. However, depending on how the legal case goes, the financial costs may exceed the retainer, though I am confident that I will be able to negotiate contingency fees as we progress.
Last but not least, having sexual assault-related PTSD has led to severe limitations in my ability to function, which has made me temporarily unable to work. Moreover, throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, I have depleted my savings and cashed out my investments to make ends meet. Unfortunately, I am on the verge of losing my home: the only place I truly feel safe at the moment. In addition, obtaining government disability has been a long and stressful process, so I am asking for financial assistance to cover three months of living expenses, roughly $5,550 (rent, car and personal care). Hopefully, within three months, thanks to the TMS treatment, I should be a much healthier person and capable of returning to full-time work. Or, at the very least, I'll have managed to get temporary disability benefits after jumping through all these bureautic hoops.
On this particular occasion of my birthday, the only gift I truly want is the opportunity to regain everything I have lost as a result of this assault: mental, emotional, and physical well-being and a renewed sense of purpose to live life to its fullest. Will you consider helping me?
