Help My Birthday Not Suck

As many of you know, I have never been the kind of person that asks for help - or asks for anything, really. I know I can be a stubbornly proud and independent person, but this year… just… screw it. I’m admitting defeat. It’s been a terrible year. A monumentally terrible year. And look, I’m not here to throw a pity party, but…

All year long I threw my whole self into these big, great, life-changing goals, and every one of them spectacularly blew up in my face. I could have spent that time doing literally ANYTHING else, but I believed good things were coming, so I kept my head down and did what I thought I needed to. But this fall, all of that was ripped away from me, and I was left in the worst emotional (and financial) state I’ve experienced in years. There was also a lot of personal loss this year: the passing of several friends too soon, a country in utter chaos, and a serious medical scare that put me further in the financial hole (and still has me scared every single day).

So right now, I am trying to avoid dwelling on all of that by carving out a tiny bit of joy for myself for my birthday.

I historically hate my birthday; it’s during a shitty time of year, and there’s generally very little to do. I tend to tell people not to give me any kind of gifts for my birthday or the holidays unless they absolutely insist. This year though, I’ve decided that, as a gift to myself, I am going to attend GalaxyCon Columbus, to meet an absolutely crass, vulgar, delightful human being, with a heart of gold and a vocabulary that would make the devil blush, and whom I have come to admire greatly: Con O’Neill. (Yes, I’m going to a convention in OHIO in DECEMBER, just for him ). This is his last appearance at a con in 2024, and possibly for the foreseeable future, since Our Flag Means Death was sadly not renewed for a 3rd season (if you haven’t seen it yet, seriously what are you even doing with your life?). I don’t want to miss my chance to meet him, and a few of my other favorite cast members will be there too, so for once in my life I want to go all out and do all the things I skip because they’re too expensive: the meet & greet, autograph, professional photo, as well as a group photo with the full cast. Here’s a quick cost breakdown:

Standard 3 day ticket to convention: $120

Meet & Greet for Con with Selfie & Signature: $100

Professional Photo Op: $85

One portion of the cast photo Op: $79

That’s nearly $400, and doesn’t include plane tickets, hotel, and other travel expenses, which is why I set the goal at $1000, but if I could hit even just a portion of this, I would be thrilled. After the year I’ve had… f*ck it - I think I’ve earned it. I don’t know what the future holds right now, and it’s nice to have something - ANYTHING - to look forward to. Help me do this fun, silly, self-indulgent thing, and I will love you forever! If you ask nicely enough, I might also bring you back something as well!

Anyway, thanks for reading, F*CK 2024, and please take pity on a poor grouchy pirate. (It’s me. I’m the grouchy pirate.)