This past school year has been a series of unfortunate events. I truly have never experienced such craziness and such joy in such a small amount of time. So much so I do not know where to begin. So I thought a list would be appropriate. 

First and foremost I am a single mother making art on a small scale in Cleveland and teaching part time. My daughter is now 14 and on her way to high school. We live in a home with our 3 animals and some aquatic friends.

This school year began as our usual. I had cared for my grandfather for many years and had chosen to live with him before I went back to graduate school. At one point he took care of me during my pregnancy. And after his stroke I was hands on care for him until the day he passed, at the beginning of the school year in September. I was with him in every step of the way (Thank you Hospice of the Western Reserve) and there is no way to describe his absence now because he was and will always be the most benevolent and non-judgmental  man I know. I thank God for the time my daughter and I had with him because my father, sister and mother all died of cancer before that and my daughter never got a chance to fully know them. The joy I have experienced in his presence with my daughter is immeasurable.

Since his passing my world has fallen apart with specs of silver linings. At the end of every summer I loose whatever child support I get and am not able to recoup  that loss through summer employment because my time (as my grandfathers' primary care giver) was limited with outside help. Needless to say I was 2 months in the hole when he passed and literally one week after he died my dog, Kelly tore her ACL requiring an operation. With more debt to add onto debt that I was unable to pay already we set out to simply maintain. The list grew:
*Grandfather dies - Funeral home cremates him at a discount because we joined the Memorial Society. They have yet to be paid and he has yet to be interred with my grandmother because his insurance screwed things up. Part of what I am asking is to lay him to rest finally with the one woman he honored above all. 
*The insurance company has taken me through loops and at one point I discovered he had insurance and called and they said nothing is here. Before he passed they said we have found a small policy and ther is no beneficiary. Notarized Paper work was sent and they said they never got it. Now everything is in Probate simply to release $2300 to pay the funeral home. That does not include having him interred.
*In the interim my grandfather lost homeowners insurance which raised his mortgage from $387 to $719. In my search for insurance I was able to finally get Ohio Fair Plan after his death. After his passing I only had one Part time income (with two different jobs) of barely nothing and Child support stops due to the work cycle of the father and does not start until 1 month after school. Now 3 months behind in everything. Luckily friends helped the big-ticket items at that time. However now Ohio Fair Plan is requiring repairs to be done in a certain amount of time or we loose that insurance which will raise my mortgage again. April, being the new deadline while still behind in debt.

Long story short - I have to make repairs to the home by April or have my mortgage raised to a point I will not be able to live in the house. As my credit is going out of control and I pay what I can when I can and look for more work. All while my dearest grandfather sits cremated on our shelf waiting to be physically placed with the one woman he has loved since he was 7 years old. My intent is to take care of two things at once so I can repair my credit because I have no extra money for anything at this point. Even once taxes are filed. As the mortgage company states I will eventually have to assume the loan on the house and with my credit in its current state that will not happen.

How does one give their life to the care of another individual and come out on the bottom. I hate to think that the world was against me. I hope that my care for him was top notch. On a meager budget and food stamps he ate organic whole foods especially prepared by me. He lived almost 3 months shy of his 100th birthday after heart attacks and pneumonia in the hospital (in January 2014) and everyone telling me "Well he is 99." I knew I would know when he was ready to go. He died at home surrounded by family and his beloved animals. I am searching and working in every way to honor him by taking care of his home and his beloved great-grand daughter. I am making my art available online, trying to place it into the fine art world, teaching art and collaborating on special projects to make art an amazing experience for everyone. I live as a "child of the Universe" with my heart on my sleeve always helping those in my world in need and always available to pass on my gifts. Financially I have never been so low and am physically and spiritually trying to maintain. To bury my grandfather properly and fix his home so my daughter and I can stop treading water before she enters a new phase in her life, high school. Giving up for me has never been an option. I have nothing but hope for the future and hope that others understand my need for GoFundme.