Mother’s Headstone

My name is Sarah Robbins. I'm the daughter of Lori Robbins. Who passed away on April 17th.

That day was one of the hardest days for me. I went through some of the hardest decisions a person has to make. I suffered some of the worst heart ache a person can go through. I lost a friend and confidant. I lost my mother. While the world lost a loving and kind hearted person and an RN nurse of over 30 years.  She was only 54 years old. Her favorite color was purple. She enjoyed things like PBS and the wonders of nature. She cared for all of Gods creatures in love and kindness. 

I'm lucky that I had such a loving, caring, and understanding mother. She was always there for me day or night. She did n't have much. Yet she gave what she could to help someone. She would always smile even in the hardest of times.Her presence wasn't big, but she drew you in with kindness, understanding, and an open heart and mind. 

On the morning of the 15th of April she came from work around midnight. She called out to me in pain and complained of fever and sweats. At first I thought is this COVID? Yet she showed no signs earlier this week or today. She then complained about feeling sick then shortly after she vomited multiple times then collapsed to the floor. She was unresponsive. Her eyes rolling and her gasping for air. In a panic I called 911. They took her into the ambulance but didn't move the men telling me go ahead and head to the hospital. That they would follow behind shortly. I sat at the entrance waiting for her. To hear anything of her. It had been about 15-20 minutes only then did they show. I knew something was wrong, but wasn't sure as to what. Only 3 hours later did the doctor come to speak with me. My mother had coded twice. She was now on a ventilator and unresponsive. Then after about 30-45 minutes they came again. Sitting me down preparing me. 

"she has a brain bleed. It's very serious. There is no doctor here that can help her. So we are transferring her to a hospital that can. One that has a neurosurgeon for surgery."   

So now at another hospital waiting. early into the morning. No shower nothing to eat. Until about and hour or two goes by and another doctor comes to me. Starts to show me her CT scans and say. 

" Her brain bleed was most likely caused by high blood pressure.  The bleed is in the area of the brain that controls her breathing a heart functions. It is so deep in the brain that there is no surgery or medicine that can help her. Her brain function is only 10%. It is now time to call family and make plans for her."

I now had to make one of the hardest decisions. When to take her off life support. Even still was the fact that we could not be with her till her COVID test came back. That took till the afternoon. Luckily it came back negative and we could be with her in her final moments. She was at least able to help people one last time by being able be able organ donor as well. She always said if I can help some body I will. 

To me this happened all in one day, April 16th. She officially passed April 17th; and laid to rest April 20th. My birthday only 3 days later. 

So now comes the after. The part of m life without her. I lived with my mother helping and supporting her. As she supported me. Now I must find a new place to live. Because this apartment we shared reminds me of her to much. 

Any funds raised will go to cover funereal expenses such as burial, her head stone( which is around 2-3,000 on its own), and anything related to it. 

If you are unable to help at this time, reposting and sharing this gfm would be greatly appreciated.