Whitney Holmes' Glioblastoma Brain Cancer Fund

Written by Whitney Holmes:

Please bare with me as the tumor makes it difficult to speak as well as write at times. I have problems with forming sentences properly, but I am working on getting better with things. 

Hello everyone,
My name is Whitney Holmes. I was just diagnosed with an aggressive form of malignant brain cancer called Glioblastoma. I’m facing the battle of my life right now and I am starting chemo and radiation soon. Unfortunately this will not cure the cancer, but it will assist in keeping me alive as long as possible. The treatment will also help to get the symptoms under control to where it is tolerable (hopefully). The long term prognosis with this type of cancer is not good. Currently this fund is going towards any and all medical expenses not covered by the insurance, supplies that I am going to need in order to live at the new facility, potential art supplies for emotional therapy, as well as miscellaneous things to help keep me comfortable while I go through all of this. Also, a small portion might go towards some assistance for my moms transportation so she can visit me as she does not drive and she lives out of state. I will continue to update everyone as to where the money is going and if there are any other needs. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. This has been a devastating life event and I hope that you all know how much you are helping right now. Thank you so so very much.  



On Sept 1st, I was just going about my day and tried to get to the store.
Something told me to tell my door man that I had been having medical issues recently as I left the lobby to attempt to get to the store that day. Within a minute of my walking outside, he saw my legs buckle from underneath me, and they called an ambulance. A few days prior to that, I was attempting to walk on the sidewalk.. out of nowhere my entire left side did not want to work.. at which point I had to use both hands to drag my left leg down the sidewalk. I initially was scared that I had a stroke, but I was told that was not the case.  I started having issues with speaking at which point I was diagnosed with aphasia (your brain knows what it wants to say but you can’t find the words you want to use. I started also having peripheral vision issues while in my apartment and I kept kicking the dog water bowl by accident. Then it started becoming difficult for me to go to the bathroom or kitchen because I was unable to be steady at on my feet while walking. So I would be hugging the wall in order to get around my own apartment. Due to all of these some symptoms popping up within a week or two, they had  admitted into the hospital. That is when they did imaging of my brain and found a very large malignant tumor.

The name of this type of brain cancer is glioblastoma. It is known for being a very  aggressive type of cancer as it grows quickly as it attacks the brain in multiple places at the same time which is why they opted for brain surgery so soon after I had been admitted. So that is what they did on September 8th. They did a craniotomy in which they took a piece of my skull off in order to operate and then placed nearly 40 staples in my head
They gave me the option of either getting knocked out or having awake surgery. I opted for awake. That meant that they could monitor my changes and they could stop the surgery if necessary. 
They told me the longer I could stand everything they could go into the middle of the tumor and take more out. So what was initially only supposed to be a 3 hour surgery turned into a 6 hour surgery because I kept pushing my self to handle it. It was very weird experience as I heard them drilling into my skull and I was able to feel them in my brain as they were operating. While the surgeon was taking some of the tumor out a nurse with showing me pictures on her phone asking me what the picture is and then they would ask me to squeeze their hands to see if anything was getting worse. But I was determined to sit through as long as I could so they can get as much of the tumor as possible. Sadly they cannot go back and try to take more at this time because it’s so enmeshed with my brain. This is why they are doing chemo and radiation.
The tumor is so large that it actually shifted my brain in my skull. I still have a lot of swelling in my brain which causes a significant amount of brain damage issues. 

** It is very difficult to treat this type of cancer because some drugs work for some tumors in areas of the brain which do not work in other parts of the brain. As the cancer starts attacking different parts of my brain, it will manifest new symptoms and new problems for me as time progresses. 

Currently I am dealing with the following issues: 

- I have constant 24/day head pain 
- My doctor told me I am having a lot of silent seizures which then make me feel as though I’m constantly overheating. Sometimes it can be nice and cool in the room but I feel as though I’m in a tanning bed.
- Vision loss as well as blurred vision in
- I have severe issues with right periphery;  So I keep bumping into things and/or cannot see some things. 
- I see stars all of the time.. they are pretty lol but it is interfering with about to see
- I am dealing with hearing issues as well as pain in my ear drums. I was told by an ENT doctor that I should try getting  hearing aids for the hearing loss and that it could also help me when it comes speaking properly. The concern is that if I’m not able to hear how words are pronounced, that it’s going to  be harder for me to speak properly as the cancer progresses
- I now am  sensitive to sound which then exacerbates my head pain.
- stability issues with walking
- I’m having  a lot of problems counting
- I can’t understand time and dates in my head 
- I’m having a lot of issues with spelling which means I can’t text or Google
- it takes longer for me to say some thing that’s on my mind because I can’t think of the words that I need to use
It’s difficult for me to formulate a sentence because I always feel like I’m missing words to make this sentence makes sense.
- I am having issues with understanding directions when someone us explaining something they want me to do.


TREATMENT PLAN: 
Due to how aggressive this type of cancer is, my doctor wants to fight aggressively. He ordered both chemo & radiation together ASAP. Auto Chemotherapy will be for 42 straight days. (No breaks.. not even on weekends). I will be getting Radiation at the same time Monday-Friday. After 42 days, they will do another MRI and see what it looks like then. If he feels the need to repeat the treatment he will at that time.






A little bit about me: I had just survived a very serious domestic violence relationship in 2020. While I was going through everything I had aligned myself with a domestic violence group and I had met with them every single week over the phone. The counselor that was running the group did something called a Danger Assessment/ Risk Assessment on me. This is a checklist assessment that many professionals and police departments use around the country to assess the risk that somebody could be murdered. At that time, I was informed that I was at very high likelihood of being murdered by the man I was seeing. I have faced my own death so many times that I have lost count. I was essentially threatened with guns, bullets, hang stabbing, strangling, smothered, and I believe he drugged me and hit me in the back of my head with a hammer.  After I made my escape, I moved to another county. I had just gotten a new apartment in February of this year. Due to the Domestic violence issues I had been diagnosed with post concussion syndrome last year. I had no idea that I had other medical issues going on. I will be sharing my domestic violence story on this page as I feel it is very important. Please feel free to check back frequently as I am not going to hold back on details and what I went through. It is not for the faint of heart heart. But I also know that my story can help other women. 

I will be posting a lot of details about everything today. Things like he told me he was going to come down to give me a hug and then he smothered my face into his arm to where I couldn’t breathe. One day while I was watching TV in my room, he jumped on the bed and threw me in zip ties.. another night he essentially said something about murder suicide.. 
it was a very serious and dangerous situation.. and quite frankly I am lucky to be alive right now even though I am facing a malignant brain tumor. This is why I have so much fight left and I know I can beat this. I survived all of that and I’m still here. The last time I saw him, I had gotten a police escort to his house so I can safely remove my things from his house.. he told me that that was the nail in my coffin (I recorded that conversation and I have him on audio saying that. Well.. I am still here damn it!! And I will beat this!
 

**What is most upsetting for me right now is that had I not gone through the domestic violence, I could have potentially found this tumor before it got this big and lethal. That is a very difficult truth that I have to sit with right now. I try not to think about that but it remains a constant thought. I don’t know what the future holds or how long I have but it’s frustrating to know that I could’ve potentially found this earlier.  I am hoping that my story prevents this from happening to someone else.

 
I drew this shortly after I left the abuser. This has become a symbol of power and hope for me.  Please listen to this song when looking at the drawing as it goes together. 
 https://youtu.be/IaOExJJa_YA 


I want to create my own nonprofit and I have a lot of ideas on how to keep people safe from abusive situations and that is what I’m going to work on as my legacy


This is my very first painting and represents my changing my perception that the world was scary but I was still able to see the beauty.
After I left my ex, any time I would pass by the woods, I would think about how I could have been one of the women who end up in there. Through time and therapy I was able to change my perception into thinking about how beautiful the trees are in the woods and that’s with this painting symbolizes my transition to changing my perception that the world is beautiful again. 

This is an impression of another  painting that I then was able to be inspired by and I made it I made it my own. On the left side you will see that there is a fire in the woods. If you look at the branch near the light, you will see that I made it appear like it is putting the light in a headlock which is what my ex did to me. You will then notice that the girl in the painting is walking away phone from the fire in the woods and she’s walking through a storm that she knows that she has to walk through

 I plan on trying to put all of my emotions and my focus on art in the coming days weeks and months while I am going through chemo and radiation. I will be posting pictures and videos once I start painting again. 













Thích Quảng Đức
This is a drawing of a very famous video of a Vietnamese buddhist monk (Thích Quảng Đức) who was protesting against the way monks were being treated at that time. He set himself on fire in the middle of the street. As he was on fire, he was at complete peace while meditating. He never moved, never screamed, never made a sound. I am in awe over this as it shows that if you can conquer the mind, you can get through anything.



Written by the family: What Whitney will need the most after she is discharged is a safe, comfortable home and access to food and basic necessities, while her doctors wait for a full diagnosis and post-surgery treatment plan. We are expecting that she will need rehabilitation and physical therapy, along with chemotherapy and radiation. Whitney had signed a lease to a new apartment and was working hard to insure a better life for herself and her sweet dog, Jax. Jax is currently in foster care, but Whitney hopes to be able to see her again soon. *Jax* As a child, Whitney loved art and was a free spirit who loved to dance and spend time with her family. Today, she dreams of starting a non-profit to help other domestic abuse survivors have the second chances that she was working so hard for. She is also an artist and a lover of animals and people. Her bucket list includes spending more time in nature with the people she loves, and creating a piece of art for each of the people who have brought joy and love to her life. Please help us give Whitney a fighting chance. Every dollar you donate will go directly towards her care and support. Thank you for reading, sharing, and donating if you can. We will keep you posted on her progress throughout this journey. **This is one of Whitney's original paintings. One of her dreams is to be featured in an art show featuring the work of artists who have survived domestic abuse.** **Whitney also wants to share this drawing with you, and this song "Sound of Surviving"** Link for her story and updates here.