When love for your spouse is more important

My name is Karen and I have been married to David since 1992. When you get married you stand in front of your friends and family and you say things like for better or worse for richer or poorer. They sound so noble and yet you don’t imagine that you will ever be faced with those options. You think that worse is when you cannot decide on the color of the carpet that you want to buy and you walk away from one another after a pointless argument. You think poorer means vacation plans have to be scaled back because the budget won’t stretch.

I thought this as well until June 8 2023 when my healthy husband left for work smiling, chatting to me handed me some tea in my home office patted our lovely Husky on the head and left the driveway. Two hours later he called saying he did not feel well, I realized that his words were slurred and I told him I thought he was having a stroke. I rushed to the hospital where he had been taken and saw him sitting up and still talking. I was told that it was not severe enough for major surgery and they had high hopes for a small laser procedure. Within the hour I was told that the stroke was now deemed severe and major surgery was called for.

The next time I saw David he was in an ICU room with a vent and various other tubes and wires trailing from his body. He looked unreal in that setting. Days later it was decided that he needed a trach tube and then a feeding tube and that during his fall when he stroked he had broken his ankle.

I felt so helpless as I willed him to open his eyes and acknowledge me in the room. The bills started coming in before the anesthetic had worn off ! As of now we have hit the almost 2 million dollar mark (insurance is paying a part) and then tack on to that supplies and aides. After four facilities, I brought David home in October since the skilled nursing facility was doing nothing to move him forward down the path to rehabilitation. Since he has been home, his aides and at home therapists work with him diligently, he is making so much progress, walking is very close, speech is close and now that he has the use of only 1 hand he is doing great and some basic tasks eating, dressing etc.. The problem is all of the aides are coming as an out-of-pocket expense of 1000.00 each week. I watched as my savings were drained and every bit of cash that I had squirreled away for a rainy day was gone as well. Speaking of a rainy day 3 days ago my house suffered a flood when the septic backed up. The cost to repair the septic is a little over 6,000 dollars. More than my pocket has or will have available for months. The problem is with no working septic and water is not readily available in the house which means that my husband may not be able to stay at home any longer.

I have never known how much I love my husband until I saw him this ill and I knew that I would do anything to see him regain his health. Currently he can’t speak but I would love to have another heated discussion with him over what’s for dinner or to hear him laugh at something on TV. He is with me but he isn’t completely. With enough funds to get the septic fixed and a little assistance to cover the aides I can see light at the end of the tunnel and I can give my energy to his rehabilitation. He is the light of my heart, he is the spring in my step, he has the eyes that can still make my heart flutter and without him the loneliness is almost unbearable.

Thank you to anyone that donates and please go and hug a loved one, understand how precious they are to you and your world.