What To Expect When You Cant Expect

Hi.
 
I don't know how to even start this or begin to explain how we got to this point.
 
I'll try transparency..
 
It has been 3 years 1 month since we decided to start trying for our last baby. We are currently a family of 5. My Husband brought to the relationship two children and we had our youngest together. She is currently 10 years old and so excited about the idea of being a big sister. With our youngest there were no issues with that pregnancy, she was a wonderful surprise. Since we weren't necessarily trying there was no thought that there could be a problem getting pregnant. Fast forward 8 years we finally get to the point that we want to have one more baby, an it has been such a roller coaster!
 
Protocol with Kaiser requires a year of trying before any doctor intervention takes place. We knew when it could happen each month and we went for it! Two times in that first year we got positive tests that just didn't hold. We'd even told our youngest about one in June 2019 and she was OVER THE MOON.. Only for it to slowly fade away. Finally got to the year mark and started seeing a specialist that did tons of labs, uncomfortable testing on me, scans, shots, more scans and multiple IUI's. All ending in Unexplained infertility and no baby.
 
Covid then hits and EVERYTHING goes on HOLD. Doctors allowed me to continue ovulation meds while trying naturally during this period, which I responded too beautifully. Still, Nothing. They opened things back up about a year later and we tried 2 more IUI's. Nothing.
 
After all of this I'm almost to the point of saying, "I'm DONE! I can't take this emotionally or mentally anymore". But, the voice in my heart still says to continue because we really want this baby!
 
My doctor went as far as speaking to the board for me after we discussed my options for IVF. She determined that my Kaiser Coverage will not pay for IVF. I informed her that there was no way we could afford that! So she took it upon her self to get 2 more rounds of IUI approved for me. We have one more try left, but the board and her all think IVF may be our best bet.
 
Which brings me to this moment.
 
Ive come to the point where I'm willing to give IVF a try if we can come up with the money to do it without needing loans and all the extra things to worry about. If this could bring us that step closer I'm willing to put my pride on the back burner and give this a shot. If it's possible, I would be eternally grateful to anyone that is willing to support us on this ride. If it's not, I would still be grateful to anyone that took the time to help. I would just need to come to terms with it possibly not being part of GODS plan for me.
 
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read all this. I appreciate you and God Bless!
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Jemileh Cummings 
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Fresno, CA