What happened to Grandpa Groovy?
Randy was our dad. He died Saturday morning, at the age of 62, after a rollercoaster ride of strange health issues that no neurologist could pinpoint.
His sad decline began not long ago. Dad struggled at work, something that he never did, and soon found himself unemployed and with an eviction notice. (Ok, sounds like early onset Alzheimer’s perhaps.) Dad took turns living with each of the older siblings and they all took their growing concerns to dad’s providers who all said it sounded like Alzheimer’s. What they didn’t know was that while dad lived with us, he didn’t show the normal progression of the disease. Dad had something wrong but not in the normal fashion. He could recall things from minutes, hours, and days ago and from years gone by. It seemed easier for our pleas to be brushed off and labeled as Alzheimer’s with “behaviors” of mental illness. So they started to treat dad with a lot of mental health meds. He got worse. He was soon wandering off a lot. My older brother finally had decided it was time for dad to live in a facility where he could have 24 hour care after he found my dad lying in a ditch near his home.
Dad moved from facility to facility because each place said they couldn’t take care of him and his unique needs. Dad, who remember was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, had managed to flee from one such place who has a key code entrance twice and was found miles away after traveling on foot down Highway 10. Another place finally asked us to find alternative housing after dad, who at that point had declined to moving slower than a snail’s pace and needing assistance to get up and out of a chair, shot out of his chair and sprinted across the room to tackle another resident on more than one occasion.
Our brother finally convinced Country Manor to take dad, even though he was too young to live there, because this meant dad would be closer to him. Dad declined quickly and became non verbal. He also transitioned to needing wheelchair assistance and help with eating. He also lost control of his ability to use the bathroom. Again, dad surprised us all by jumping out of his wheelchair to run across the dining room to attack another resident. He also chose to display a variety of colorful language after he hadn’t spoken in months.
Is this Alzheimer’s? Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy? Parkinson’s? But even more puzzling, is this hereditary? There’s only one way to know.
We would like to have an autopsy performed because we are all so scared that something is lurking in our genetics that might befall each of our siblings in due time. The cost of the autopsy is $2200.00. Because of the need to act quickly, the autopsy was already performed and paid for with a credit card. We don’t ask for help, that’s not how dad raised us, but we feel it is now time to ask for help. In lieu of flowers or as a memorial, perhaps consider helping us pay for this important piece of the puzzle.
The autopsy will take about 6 weeks to complete and we will update everyone of the results at that time.
I have included Randy’s obituary below so you could read more about the special person he was:
Randy Joseph Lemm, 62, of Minnesota, passed away on November 16, 2019. He was born to Omar and Verdena Lemm on December 16, 1956. One of the younger of ten children, Randy was inventive and mischievous from the beginning; traits that would lead to a complicated but interesting life. Randy held many jobs; realtor, welder, bus driver, typist, marine, farm hand, delivery driver, screen printer, santa, and maintenance man. Randy considered himself a jack of all trades. He was proud of his work abilities and most importantly, his work speed. His favorite compliment was being called “freaky fast” in one of his work reviews.
Randy had a quick wit and a creative mind. He was always thinking up new inventions, business ideas and jokes. Randy loved movies, plays, musicals, crossword puzzles, and word play. He loved to see people react to his unique jokes.
Randy was the first person to call when something went wrong because he could fix anything. Plus he was reliable. He could be counted on when you needed help and he was always there for events - big or small. Randy was open to trying new things and was an active grandfather. He liked to be called Grandpa Groovy because he was cooler than the average grandpa. He could be fun and was the type of grandpa to play outside with the kids, get in the water at the pool, ride all the rides at the theme park, and tell inappropriate jokes.
He wasn’t very sentimental, but he was attuned to the needs of his family. Randy worked hard to protect his family and to be sure they had better opportunities than he had. He taught his kids to be honest and good people. He taught them to work hard and to do so without complaining.
Randy liked to go out - to shows mostly, but he enjoyed all outings. He dressed up when he went out - always changing from work boots and jeans to dress shoes and nice slacks and splashing a little cologne. And he was always early. He considered on-time to be late. He was always well liked by his coworkers and the nursing staff. Randy’s last years were increasingly difficult as his mind was taken over by dementia. The disease brought out the best and the worst in him, but he is finally at peace.
Randy is survived by his children, Josh (Nadine), Angela (Kevin), Veronica (Jake), Jared, and Stephanie; grandchildren, Julia, Kirsten, Marissa, Ethan, Ashley, Joseph, Avery, Elaina, Lukas, Malacay, Henry, Mark, Aubrey, Josie, and Austin; brothers, Paul, Alan, and Nick; and sisters, Karen, Fern, Rajean, and Christine.
He is preceded in death by his parents, Omar and Verdena and his brothers, Bruce and David.
