Wishing for a Baby!

Hello all!

We are Chris and Colette Hudson. We have been married for seven years and have built a wonderful life together. We have been blessed in many ways; however, we have been wanting to grow our family. Since we are both teachers, Chris teaching high school math; Colette teaching 5th grade and coaching a high school dance team, they have and do help instill greatness and success in our youth and impact many families. We are also usually pretty private people and don't share much about our lives; however, here is a bit of our baby journey and asking for help is hard for us to do.

We had been trying to conceive on our own for a couple of years, consistently for a whole year prior to seeking a fertility specialist. Of course, this included reading about conception, tracking ovulation, and testing temperatures, which became progressively frustrating as it seemed I didn’t always ovulate. Nor did we become pregnant. This is where the real emotional journey begins. In June 2020, both Chris and I were referred to the UW medical clinic for fertility in October 2020. Chris to the men’s reproductive clinic, and myself to the fertility clinic. After Chris had some tests completed on his motility and quality, I had a transvaginal ultrasound (1st of too many to count); we learned a couple of things this day. 1: We have a male factor (low sperm count and slow motility) and female factors (see below). 2: driving up to the UW every week was not going to work for our work schedules. Having both male and female infertility factors occurs in very few couples. It makes it that much harder to conceive.

So, we sought out an in-town specialist who has been amazing. We had our first appointment with him on December 17th, 2020. He works for the creation of making babies and families. We learned how much timeliness helps in the success of making a baby. The fertility doctor we have been going to for almost two years has devoted so much time, late evenings, and weekends to ensure we get everything done at just the right time.

Through this journey, we have experienced every emotion imaginable. We have experienced so much hope and excitement, only to have that hope and excitement come crashing to the ground in a matter of weeks. The past two years have been filled with more tears than most people imagine. There have been more disappointments, sad news, and pain than we can explain and could have found fathomable.

We (more so Colette) have had 12 IUI (intrauterine insemination) rounds. Out of the 12 rounds, we have become pregnant five times! That is five potential babies to love and parent. That also means five soul-crushing and devastating miscarriages/ losses. The first baby was due in late October/ early November 2021; we lost that little one at seven weeks. We had an ultrasound, and it had a heartbeat. That miscarriage happened naturally, and it was so excruciating. All five of my miscarriages happened naturally. The other baby that grew the longest stopped growing at about 6 ½ weeks. We waited until 7 1/2 weeks to have the ultrasound. Chris and I expected to see a heartbeat and a little tiny fetus. That was another soul-shattering experience, as there was not one, and it stopped growing and being viable the week prior. Because my body miscarries naturally, causing less damage to my insides, the doctor told me to miscarry naturally, as we wanted to avoid scar tissue buildup. My body still acted pregnant and had all the symptoms into the 9-week mark (March 2022) when that one finally passed. Imagine carrying a baby that you know is not viable for two more weeks; truly devastating and emotionally taxing. The other three pregnancies did not make it nearly as far as the others but were still pregnancies. It became more challenging to take pregnancy tests and be excited when our tests and blood work returned positive.

During this time, Colette has gone through many tests; blood tests, intrauterine biopsy, sonohysterogram to check for polyps (none were found), and did I mention blood tests? We are in the minority of recurrent miscarriages, and something more is wrong than just low progesterone levels. In fact, the doctor told us that miscarrying five times in a row is extremely uncommon. Our doctor suggested that we look into a reproductive immunologist clinic in California. We called and got on a two-month wait list. Finally, hearing from them, blood work and tests were needed, as this is a specialty clinic. Colette had about 24 vials of blood taken, and the clinic mixed our blood and tested Colette for immune problems. And when we met the doctor over the phone with the care plan, more devastating news was given. Basically, with the three genetic abnormalities, hyperactive killer t-cells and low level of blocking antibodies, Colette would have to undergo extensive treatments and procedures. Including hemoglobin transfusions and being vaccinated with Chis’ cells); these procedures and care plans would be costly and wouldn’t guarantee a viable pregnancy. We cried many tears after we were told that carrying a baby to term was not likely to happen.

Chris and I have chosen to take a different path toward fulfilling our dreams of being parents. After exhausting many financial resources, emotional ups and downs, and the inability to conceive and carry on our own, we have chosen to have a surrogate. We followed up with our fertility doctor and found that Colette's AMH levels (ovarian reserve) were extremely low. He suggested IVF and agreed that a surrogate would be a good idea for us. We will try to do an IVF cycle in hopes that we can get viable embryos to transfer to our surrogate. We will most likely seek an egg donor if that doesn't work. This choice isn’t easy, as many feelings, realizations, and thoughts have gone into making this decision. This path will be expensive (over $200,000.00), and we seek help from our friends, family, and whoever is able and wants to donate. Any amount will help, no matter how much, and will be tremendously appreciated!

We have valued all the emotional support we have received from people, especially on our darkest days. We are just ready to look ahead, have hope, and believe that we will be able to hold a baby that will be ours in one capacity or another. We believe we would truly make some fun and wonderful parents and have wanted nothing more than to have a kiddo running around, learning, growing, and experiencing parenthood. We have impacted so many other children in our lives; we want to have our own to raise and cherish. Having a child is something we have spent many years praying and trying for.

Writing a little about our journey brings tears to our eyes, but we still hold out hope. With some help from others, our dreams of having a family can happen through IVF and a surrogate.

Thank you again, and we appreciate and love you more than you know!

Love,

Chris & Colette Hudson

Update 5/1/24:

Well our journey has continued to be an emotional and disappointing rollercoaster. We had two embryos frozen, and in November 2023 we matched with a wonderful Gestational Carrier we were cleared and did our first embryo transfer in April 2024. Such an exciting time. The embryo stuck but only for a few short days. So we are saddened by another baby lost. With this attempt, we have only one embryo left and are seeking another fertility doctor, because our current one, has caused us some concern, and we are ready to get a new doctor and hope for some better and more successful results with our last precious embryo.

We appreciate all the love and support from everyone as we continue through this really long journey.