Fallen on difficult times
Donation protected
Hi everyone. I am not sure ow I ended up where I am now, but for whatever it's worth, I am where I am now. As many of you may know, I recently retired from the military after 24 years. Lots of deployments overseas in support of the global war on terror, and lots of travelling and moving. As many of you may not know, Deb and I separated in 2015 and officially finalized our divorce on July 5th, 2018.
There was a delay in getting the divorced finalized since Deb asked us to stay together until we reached the 20 year overlap to make her eligible for healthcare at a reduced price. She claimed she didn't want anything, just the reduced healthcare and to be able for both of us to go our separate ways.
In 2008, we left the State of NC to go to our next assignment. We no longer had her son in the house and we were supposed to be starting fresh. She got a job, but only kept it for 6 months. She left it so she could help take care of her mom who was terminal. I accepted that we would be back on one income. She continued to refuse to work after her mom passed. We moved several more times, and each location she refused to work saying that my sole income was enough.
She told me she wanted to divorce while I was deployed and we would settle it when I returned. We officially separated in 2015 when I returned from a 15 month deployment to Kuwait and found myself alone for the first time in 18 years. She asked to be left at her sister's house in California and to continue to Alaska by myself with the dogs. I had a quick lesson in how to rent a house, how to file for utilities, how to care for the dogs, the bills, the mortgage, groceries, etc. In November 2016, i took a bad fall on the ice and took an injury that made me decide to finally retire from the service. Now I had to prepare for transition from service by myself, alone.
I took over the finances and saw how dire the situation was. Not only was there $68,000 in credit card debt, but I learned that Deb had charged over $14,000 on a joint credit card after separation.
Once we made the official 20 year mark, I filed for a dissolution. She recanted all of her previous statements and hired a top rated, well to do lawyer. her lawyer told her he was going to work to get her everything she deserved. He used language like I left her in California. He used more semantics that I did not give Deb any money to live on in California while she was living with her sister. I offered her several opportunities to gain valuable employment, paid for online courses for her to get certifications, and even offered to help her set up an work from home franchise. She said she didn't want to work and was making due just fine on the money she was taking from our joint account.
The documents were changed to divorce on December 5th, 2016. I didn't know at the time it was going to take such a long time to complete.
The simple facts were that she asked to go to California with her sister. She was withdrawing money each month from the joint checking account but did not want to report the income to help qualify for low income housing.
Unfortunately, Deb suffered two massive strokes in April 2017. She survived them, which is good. This was a major factor in why the proceedings took so long to complete. It is also a factor in how her attorney was able to get an unfair and inequitable distribution in assets.
Because of some congressional legislation, called the Uniformed Services Former Spouses protection Act from the 1980s, the state courts are allowed to divide a service member's retirement pay as property.
I agreed to take the pre-marital debt, and the additional $14,000 in charges she made. Deb was awarded 40% of my retirement pay for life, $1,000 additional per month for 48 months, because of her health and length of marriage, 10 years of medical and dental premiums paid by me, 100% of the value of my Thrift Savings Plan (401k), $25,000 cash, and would leave attorney's fees for the court to decide. I started taking out loans to meet the requirements of paying Deb what her lawyer and the court deemed she had "earned" and that she "deserved". My most recent credit report shows I am $335,000 in debt.
On July 27th, I received the court's decision on attorney's fees. I was ordered to pay her attorney $15,715.42 by September 14th, 2018.
I have started the process of liquidating some of the personal property I have to start chipping away at the bills she and I created, the bills imposed by the court and finally the attorney fees. It's going to be a long road to get back to financial freedom, but those of you that know me, know that I do not quit. I do not break my promises or obligations.
Those of you also know that I am very proud and humble. I do not ever ask for help. However, I have reached the point where if I don't ask for help, I may end up in financial ruin. If anyone can help, I would be most appreciative.
If you cannot assist, but want to help in another way, please contact your federal representatives to "repeal without replacement the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act" It was put in place in the 1980s before there was online schooling and endless work from home opportunities to assist military spouses thrive. The Act is now defunct in that military spouses can indeed go to school and grow in their careers while they move from duty location to duty location.
There was a delay in getting the divorced finalized since Deb asked us to stay together until we reached the 20 year overlap to make her eligible for healthcare at a reduced price. She claimed she didn't want anything, just the reduced healthcare and to be able for both of us to go our separate ways.
In 2008, we left the State of NC to go to our next assignment. We no longer had her son in the house and we were supposed to be starting fresh. She got a job, but only kept it for 6 months. She left it so she could help take care of her mom who was terminal. I accepted that we would be back on one income. She continued to refuse to work after her mom passed. We moved several more times, and each location she refused to work saying that my sole income was enough.
She told me she wanted to divorce while I was deployed and we would settle it when I returned. We officially separated in 2015 when I returned from a 15 month deployment to Kuwait and found myself alone for the first time in 18 years. She asked to be left at her sister's house in California and to continue to Alaska by myself with the dogs. I had a quick lesson in how to rent a house, how to file for utilities, how to care for the dogs, the bills, the mortgage, groceries, etc. In November 2016, i took a bad fall on the ice and took an injury that made me decide to finally retire from the service. Now I had to prepare for transition from service by myself, alone.
I took over the finances and saw how dire the situation was. Not only was there $68,000 in credit card debt, but I learned that Deb had charged over $14,000 on a joint credit card after separation.
Once we made the official 20 year mark, I filed for a dissolution. She recanted all of her previous statements and hired a top rated, well to do lawyer. her lawyer told her he was going to work to get her everything she deserved. He used language like I left her in California. He used more semantics that I did not give Deb any money to live on in California while she was living with her sister. I offered her several opportunities to gain valuable employment, paid for online courses for her to get certifications, and even offered to help her set up an work from home franchise. She said she didn't want to work and was making due just fine on the money she was taking from our joint account.
The documents were changed to divorce on December 5th, 2016. I didn't know at the time it was going to take such a long time to complete.
The simple facts were that she asked to go to California with her sister. She was withdrawing money each month from the joint checking account but did not want to report the income to help qualify for low income housing.
Unfortunately, Deb suffered two massive strokes in April 2017. She survived them, which is good. This was a major factor in why the proceedings took so long to complete. It is also a factor in how her attorney was able to get an unfair and inequitable distribution in assets.
Because of some congressional legislation, called the Uniformed Services Former Spouses protection Act from the 1980s, the state courts are allowed to divide a service member's retirement pay as property.
I agreed to take the pre-marital debt, and the additional $14,000 in charges she made. Deb was awarded 40% of my retirement pay for life, $1,000 additional per month for 48 months, because of her health and length of marriage, 10 years of medical and dental premiums paid by me, 100% of the value of my Thrift Savings Plan (401k), $25,000 cash, and would leave attorney's fees for the court to decide. I started taking out loans to meet the requirements of paying Deb what her lawyer and the court deemed she had "earned" and that she "deserved". My most recent credit report shows I am $335,000 in debt.
On July 27th, I received the court's decision on attorney's fees. I was ordered to pay her attorney $15,715.42 by September 14th, 2018.
I have started the process of liquidating some of the personal property I have to start chipping away at the bills she and I created, the bills imposed by the court and finally the attorney fees. It's going to be a long road to get back to financial freedom, but those of you that know me, know that I do not quit. I do not break my promises or obligations.
Those of you also know that I am very proud and humble. I do not ever ask for help. However, I have reached the point where if I don't ask for help, I may end up in financial ruin. If anyone can help, I would be most appreciative.
If you cannot assist, but want to help in another way, please contact your federal representatives to "repeal without replacement the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act" It was put in place in the 1980s before there was online schooling and endless work from home opportunities to assist military spouses thrive. The Act is now defunct in that military spouses can indeed go to school and grow in their careers while they move from duty location to duty location.
Organiser
Dave Maloney
Organiser
Anchorage, AK