KAYDANCE PAIGE ETCHELLS -
Abducted from Canada on May 8,2016
Call Crimestoppers at 1-800-222-8477 if you have any information about Kaydance's location, or the Saanich Police at 1-888-980-1919
My goal for this page is to raise awareness, and not necessarily funds.
I believe there are family members and friends who know the location of Kaydance, but have been persuaded to not share any information.
I ask them to reconsider whether this new life on the run that Kaydance is living is in her best interest. Lauren and I started the separtion process lawfully, and it really should be finalized that way.
My wish is that people will look and share Lauren and Kaydance's pictures that I have posted on my "Where in the World is Kaydance" Facebook page, and provide any information that will lead to locating Lauren and Kaydance Etchells.
Lauren was born in England, and has relatives there, but she also has Canadian citizenship.
When I first started this Go Fund Me campaign back in Sept 2015, it was to gain support in my efforts to remain a parent in my daughter's life and prevent my wife from fleeing Canada before our divorce was finalized.
The facts at that time:
1. Upon our separation, my wife Lauren, refused to put my name back on Kaydance’s birth certificate, thus denying me of my parental responsibilities and rights.
2. My wife had planned to take Kaydance to the Middle Eastern country of Qatar.
The facts now:
1. My fears have been realized, and Kaydance has been unlawfully taken from Canada.
For those of you who may not know the history, I will provide a summary of how it all began, and what has transpired since then.
It is a long story, full of personal details that I would rather not be sharing. But, if by sharing this information leads to the location and safe return of Kaydance, it is worth the pain of reliving the past.
Lauren and I were legally married in August 2012 , but together for five years prior to getting married. In 2013, we decided to find a donor so we could start a family of our own. We found a wonderful man who was willing to donate, and my wife and I started the D.I.Y process of creating a life at our home in Edmonton.
We signed a donor contract, which clearly stated I would be the baby's other parent, and that my name would be registered as such on the birth certificate.
After a few trials and errors...guess what? The D.I.Y artificial insemination worked! On Sept.26,2014 I witnessed the miracle of life as Kaydance made her entrance into our world.
After receiving my Bachelor of Education degree in 2015, I applied to work in the United Arab Emirates (U.A.E), and secured a two year teaching contract at a private international school. Only one problem – Kaydance’s birth certificate had my name on it, and since homosexuality is illegal in the U.A.E, we could not enter that country with two women’s named as parents on that birth certificate.
So, in March of 2015, Lauren and I went before the Alberta Queen's Bench in Edmonton to request an order to have my name removed from Kaydance's birth certificate, in the best interests of protecting our family. The judge recognized that I was not trying to skirt my parental duties to Kaydance, this request was being done for Kaydance’s and our family’s protection.
Since Lauren and I had previously lived and worked in the U.A.E, and I was desperate to gain some teaching experience , we felt that we could manage living there as a family - at least temporaily.
And so, on that fateful day, in March 2015, my name was removed from the birth certificate, essentially stripping me of my parental rights. Little did I realize, this one action would haunt me in the near future, but at that time, I COMPLETELY trusted my wife.
After the March 2015 court date, Lauren, Kaydance and I continued to live as a family in Edmonton, and began planning to have a second child. Our orginal donor had moved away,so we asked Lauren's best friend, Marco, if we would be willing to help us.
Over the years, I had met Marco, and agreed that he would be an excellent choice. Marco, who was born in South Africa, lived in the Middle Eastern country of Qatar. Lauren had met Marco while attending school in that country.Marco eagerly agreed to be our donor, and plans were set into motion.
I finished my last university course in March 2015, and we decided to move back to BC to be closer to our families, since we would be flying to the U.A.E at the end of that summer where I would begin my teaching career.
In early July 2015, Marco flew to Victoria, BC with the premise that he would be our donor.
As Lauren prepared to leave Nanaimo to go and pick Marco up, she informed me that she would be doing the artificial insemination herself.
I was crushed with this news, but ignored my emotions, since the main goal was to provide Kaydance with a sibling - and timing was everything.
Lauren, Marco and Kaydance spent that weekend in Victoria at her parents house , and then returned to our family home in Nanaimo.
Upon their return, things were "off" between Lauren and I. Things were different, but I ignored the red flags being waved in front of my eyes.
We spent the next few weeks playing tour guide to Marco, which included renting a house boat on Sproat Lake, joined by Lauren's parents and family friends.
By the end of July,2015 the fractures in our relationship could not be ignored anymore,so Lauren and I agreed to separate on July 31,2015.
I cancelled my teaching contract in the U.A.E, and when I asked Lauren to put my name back on Kaydance’s birth certificate, she refused. She told me that she wanted the freedom to travel without having to have my permission to take Kaydance out of Canada.
When I asked Lauren what her short term plans where, she told me she didn’t know. I suspected she was going to leave Canada, but then my fears were confirmed – I found out that Lauren bought 1 way tickets to Qatar, and planned to leave Canada with Kaydance on September 5,2015 -without my knowledge or consent.
I immediately got a lawyer, and thus began the most emotional journey imaginable.
By now, Marco had left Canada and flew back to Qatar around August 9, 2015.
August 17,2015 - I went to court to get a non removal order. After serving Lauren with the order, I went to the Nanaimo RCMP with the order, and pictures of the airplane tickets to Qatar, but I was told that they could not enforce the order due to a missing clause that states that the order is enforceable by the RCMP. Basically, Lauren and Kaydance would still be able to leave Canada without issue. OMG..now what?
August 21,2015 -I was back in court hoping for a new court order – one that was enforceable. After learning about the plane tickets to Qatar, the judge issued an apprehension order that put Kaydance into my custody. The judge also ordered that Lauren surrender her and Kaydance’s passports, and not leave Vancouver Island until the scheduled court date. Lauren was also ordered not to apply to receive a Canadian Passport for Kaydance.
However, my intent was not, and never has been,to take Kaydance away from Lauren. All I wanted was the passports surrendered to ensure that Lauren would not flee with Kaydance. I voiced my concerns to my lawyer about taking Kaydance away from Lauren, and after the police apprehended Kaydance that weekend, the lawyers negotiated visiting times between Kaydance and I until our case could be heard within the month. Kaydance and Lauren resumed living in Victoria with her parents.
My lawyer advised that it would be best to re-apply for parentage and non removal orders through the Supreme Court, rather than the Provincial Courts, mainly because a Supreme Court order carried more weight, and would be easier to enforce. On the advice of my lawyer, I began the processes, so that my case would be heard in front of a Supreme Court judge.
Contact and Skype time between Kaydance and I had been ongoing since the seperation, but court kept getting adjourned month after month. But at least I was getting to spend time with Kaydance on a regular basis, so I perservered, believing that once a judge heard this case, things would work out.
In the meantime, there were other processes and proceedings that were ongoing building up to our divorce hearing, now scheduled for October,2016.
September 2015 - 1st mediation session.
Shortly after our mediation session, Lauren told me that her and Marco got engaged.
November 2015 - 2nd mediation
We began mediation by Lauren's lawyer informing me that Lauren was pregnant with Marco's baby.
After taking a moment to digest this news, mediation began. But I soon cancelled the mediation, when the mediator suggested that I should be satisfied just to be viewed as Kaydance's aunt, (as Lauren and her lawyer proposed).
Early 2016 Lauren's lawyer rquested that Lauren be allowed to renew her British Passport, since it was about to expire. The judge granted that request, and Lauren's passport was returned to Lauren, but was to be returned to her lawyer's safe upon the renewal.
I made the assumption that Lauren's lawyer would be ensuring that the passport was indeed returned, which was a critical mistake.
In February 2016, I secured a teaching position and moved to Victoria to live closer to Kaydance and better facilitate my time with her.
April 5,2016 - Lauren gave birth to a baby boy. named Marcus Etchells. Marco, flew to Canada for the birth, and they shared their joy with me by bringing baby Marcus to the next court hearing we had.
April 20,2016 - The judge ordered increased access time between Kaydance and I, progressing to overnight visits.
April 21,2016 - Lauren applied for a Canadian passport for Kaydance, against the court order. Of course, I didn't know this until it was too late.
All I knew was that Kaydance's British passport was still safely locked up in my lawyer's safe, so I felt secure in that fact.
April 26,2016 - Lauren granted power of attorney to her mother, Angela Etchells, and her sister, Shannon Trowsdale.
May 8, 2016 - Lauren, Kaydance, Marcus and Marco flew to England ( of course I did not learn of this until 6 days later).
May 9,2016 - During my 5:30pm scheduled Skype visit with Kaydance, I asked Lauren why Kaydance was in her PJ's already. Lauren explained that Kaydance just had a bath, and didn't feel like changing her twice. I also wondered why Lauren's time stamp on Skype was reading 1:30am, but brushed it off as a Skype glitch, and didn't question Lauren. Looking back,I wish I had.
May 13,2016 - Lauren misses my 5:30pm scheduled Skype visit with Kaydance. The alarm bells are ringing in my head again..but...no..maybe they are out..maybe she forgot..it couldn't be what I am really thinking - after all, the passports are all locked up in the lawyer's safe. I tell myself that I am just being paranoid, thinking that I will see Kaydance tomorrow morning for my weekend time.
May 14,2016 - Lauren did not drop Kaydance off at my apartment for my visit. Sickened, I drove to her parents place where they told me that Lauren and Kaydance were not there, and that they couldn't tell me where they were. I left her parents in a mess, and after filing a police report, drove to Nanaimo to be with my family.
Although an abduction could not be confirmed by the police at that point..I knew. I knew by the look in her Dad's eyes and the shakiness of his voice that Kaydance was gone.
May 16,2016 - A letter written by Lauren, confirming she has fled is presented to the judge.
The judge issues an apprehension order for Kaydance to be brought into my custody.
May 17,2016 - I end up in the hospital with heart issues - I was told stress induced cardiomyopothy was likely.
l was forced to take medical leave for a month.
Things are kind of a blur after that. Police. Emails. Department of Justice. Reports. Consulates. Doctors. Counsellors. Lawyers. Court....repeat...
On May 24,2016 - A Supreme Court Judge reinstated my parentage, and I was once again legally recognized as Kaydance's parent.
Now I travel a path unknown, in search of Kaydance. I am doing all that I can, but it is a daunting road ahead. The twists along the way continue to be a challenge, but with the support that I continue to receive, the journey seems more bearable.
The investigation is on going, and there are several organizations involved. Even so, I feel the time has come to ask the media to help highlight my situation, in hopes someone out there may be able to help.
There have been reports of Lauren travelling in England, Europe and the Middle East.
By taking a few moments to share my story, I may just be one of the lucky parents who is actually reunited with their child.
I know it is a longshot, but every now and then, against all odds, the longshot wins.
Thank you for all of those who continue to help me be the Mom I have always been to Kaydance.