We live basically in a construction zone. On our walk Denali gobbled up something before I could sweep her mouth and get it from her. It turned out to be a corn cob. It most likely was thrown out by a construction worker. They litter frequently.
She had emergency surgery to save her life. I spent my last penny. I would do it again in a heart beat.
I did this without hesitation. How could I not?
She is not out of the woods. She still needs to get through her recovery.
She was transported to the emergency vet after surgery for overnight monitoring. They need to keep her there however, because I can not pay up front she will be forced to come home.
We came so far to fall so short. I gave all the money I had to her doctor that did the surgery. I had nothing to give the emergency vet.
I begged them to take my wedding ring set and had the appraisal information in my pocket.
I don't need those material things. They are a marker of what we were able to escape.
I figured I could drive to a pawn shop with Denali in the back seat and try to get the money to bring her back to the emergency vet. It was already late evening by now. I couldn't see through my tears.
I offered to walk into traffic so they would have to keep her and treat her. They said she would just end up at the animal shelter. Her death then would be certain I'm sure.
As much as I want to crumble I can't, I won't. I expect that from her. She is everything to me. We gave up so much. We lost a great deal.
I don't qualify for credit because of circumstances related to the divorce. I have been trying so hard to rebuild everything. To overcome.
It is incredibly difficult not to know the right words to compel others to help. It is humbling beyond measure to reach the end of myself. To have nothing more that I can give.
Those who know me know I give everything to anyone that I can help.
I just helped a Bernese Mountain Dog mix get to his new family in Michigan. He was on the kill list at the local shelter because of his fear of some men. His abuse history overshadowed every great quality about him.
I helped save his life and I can't even guarantee my ability to save Denali's life.
I've failed her. My biggest fear. My biggest burden. The nightmare just seems never ending.
Yet I know so many suffering. It feels selfish to ask for anything.
So I ask for Denali. If you know her I already know how much you love her.
My heart wrenches. I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry that I completely failed.
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