My story is don’t be a doormat after divorce. And rise above it, and God will provide.

I was a mom for 26 years and raised eight kids as well as a gaggle of other children that were over on the weekends after my five older children moved out.. enjoyed every minute of it.

In 2015 I had gastric bypass. You can’t see emotional scars because they don’t leave bruises that are visible for the naked eye. So when I say don’t be a doormat I truly mean that. By late 2018 I had started isolating and drinking. Because I signed a very unfair divorce MSA I did not take half of the equity in the property nor did I take the 26 years of spousal support.

I am blessed with a modest retirement. And never thought I’d be able to actually afford a home solo on my own.

After my mother passed away 2021. My brother and I inherited a home. It was great for the first two years while I was busy fixing up investing, blood sweat and tear sweat equity into the house to clean up. Every nook and cranny was jampacked with way too much stuff pack rat style clean hoarding if that makes sense.

My brother‘s health was and has not been the best since my mother passed. So I give him grace and the fact that I don’t expect him to try and maintain a job or help when he is having trouble already.

Two years later, he needed me to buy him out, and I was blessed to be able on my very modest monthly retirement that I have until I pass to be approved for an FHA loan. In order to get it, I still had to hire somebody to come and replace all of the front yard siding, which is the only place that is not stucco.

We agreed on what was visible. Broken items would be split. After I locked into the loan, it was clear that everything was at its point. Built in 1987. Everything in the house was ready to start breaking down the water heater and garage door opener, as well as a branch in a big storm took out a skylight.

I managed to qualify with an FHA, but the house was in no shape to sell. We discussed that I would buy him out and complete the repairs to improvements, items that needed replacement. To get the equity up close to the houses around us.

It is a home that is in a wonderful in a great location in Sacramento County. 10 to 15 minutes from Roseville.

This last year has been met with a few more hiccups that I was not prepared for, but I am grateful for my troubles, and I am trusting God in the process.

My old car that I was hoping would last me one more year failed me. So I am back into an older car and into a payment. The refrigerator and the oven as well as the house central heating and AC. I am currently uninsured undercover California.

I did have family that came down from Idaho in the hopes that we could complete the floor install and get the interior paint painted using their scaffolding because of the high pitched ceilings.

Unfortunately, that tapped into the money that I had to complete the master bathroom with a mold problem. Two windows with broken seals replaced as well as three windows that need new springs and brackets to help them stay up the heater AC unit is the original to the house which was built in 1987. The microwave went out three years ago, but recently the convection of an also went out. I also had to put two geriatric dogs of mine that were family pets hitting age 14 and 15 to sleep. The vet was nice enough to keep the cost to $500.

Every year I pay $4000 in taxes, I am currently without my covered California.

In order for me to survive, I am currently in awaiting limbo for the concert. Season to start back up and thought that I could go back to the chiropractor‘s office for pt work as a Massage Therapist. Now in limbo, waiting 60 days for all my paperwork hopefully that’s just a rough guesstimate and it will arrive sooner rather than later.

The goal was to sell this house after getting it fixed up and looking as good as the surrounding neighborhood homes.

If I do, I will run the risk of NOT be able to afford a home for the cost that I purchased my brothers half for.

Resetting goals through this part. Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and keep my credit in good standing since my divorce. I’ve managed a few times as I was one of the unfortunate California residence that did not receive my Covid relief. If not for my monthly retirement I’m not sure what I would’ve done as I was paying a lawyer whom did absolutely nothing. She was fired and I found out from the next Law Office that I had enough for a legal malpractice suit and there’s more to that story. Is she made a lot of derogatory comments about my Catholic faith and being a mother of eight kids it was supposed to be a bulldog of a lawyer, which was not my experience at all with her and I lost a lot of money trying to get my voice heard.

My hopes are to work smarter not harder.

Working from home, renting a room or not options right now without the completion of the master bathroom, oven microwave insert replaced, AC/heater unit repair or replacement. The heater did go out this winter. Without flooring. The slab cement, high vaulted ceilings required that I just bundle up without complaint.

Knowing that one of my adult daughters has lived homeless. From bipolar that has led her into a more difficult homeless situation. So I did my best to not complain and offer it up in a prayer for her safety and protection for those moments where I have no idea if she is alive or not.

I am so close to completing all necessary. But unable to get the ball rolling as far as an extra job until my Concert job starts back up, hoping and praying that I can work from home. which financially would be more fun and less work for me as I can get paid as an independent in charge my typical Spa package prices far better than what insurance pays at Chiropractors Office.

Self care is working smarter, not harder. As well as getting me across the finish lines, and to do this, I am asking for the very first time in my life if you would support me on getting through this part.

Again, I know that I am very blessed. And I have loaned money out to people that are unable to pay me back right now.

And I’ve had to let a couple of friends go for loaning money out. And they’re failing to keep their end of the bargain, even if it involved Work trade here.

I see that is a blessing in disguise because it is opened my eyes up to those who truly care if I succeed or not. And I’m no longer allowing takers to be a part of my life.

Hopefully within a short year and a half, I can be back at it doing what I love most. I enjoy volunteering at the local churches that houses some of our homeless during the winter months in making meals to go on Thanksgiving to not just our homeless but local rehabilitation facilities as well as some of our Groupo transitional living homes in the area has been absolute joy and an absolute blessing to work with young adults that fought to get themselves to a point where they have loved themselves back up.

Seen the miracles walk in that have gotten sober and clean helped me more as a mother to never lose hope or ever stop loving my lost child. I am the friend that should you fall off the wagon. My door and couch are ready until we can get you sober and back to where you were before that.

Thank you for reading this. I know it was long. I think I rewrote it at least five times trying to edit this.

If you are able to contribute even just a dollar, I pray that God blesses each and every one of you even if you cannot give. That you are blessed 100 Fold. ❤️

The only doormat that will be here will read. “Welcome.”

Got his carried me through many storms since 2018. For me in my house we will serve the Lord. I will continue to count every blessing that is seen and unseen in my life daily and be grateful for all my troubles.

And in my vulnerability, I’m trying to let go of my pride and asking for help.

Thank you from the bottom of my MM heart.