I was attending my close friend's memorial when they attacked me.

On August 10th, everything changed.

We moved Paul's memorial over to a local park for a BBQ, and a few hours into that, two complete rando's, whom don't even know Paul, jumped me from behind, and violently attacked and brutally assaulted me.

Out of the blue. Unprovoked. From behind.

Grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to the ground and proceeded to assault me.

One of them held me. One of them kicked me in the ribs and the face. They took turns.

Someone who was attending Paul’s memorial jumped in and pulled one of them off of me.

So, they retreated for a minute, and I stood there, pulling chunks and chunks of loose hair out from my head.

Then, as I walked away with a “so-called” friend (who did nothing at all, rather just watched Round Two occur) – they came at me again half a block away for another round of unprovoked assault and battery

– this time was not worse than the first, but the final concrete smash to my head left my ears ringing for four days. Also my bag went flying, where from my phone went missing – and I lost three years of unbacked up photos, content, videos & documents needed for work.

This all happened a half hour after my friend’s memorial. As if that wasn’t hard enough to endure the past couple weeks prior.

So shortly after our fireworks for Paul and our BBQ for the grieving; these two virtual strangers jump me from behind – without warning – and proceed to violently assault me.

What should have been a moment of grief and reflection turned into a scene from a horror flick that left me with serious injuries, devastating trauma, and substantial financial loss.

My Physical Harm:

Two of my ribs were broken — both severely displaced fractures — which the doctor told me meant – “really, really broken.”

This caused exceedingly and ongoing, excruciating pain and immobility.

She explained that broken ribs cannot be fixed surgically; there is no treatment except for pain management. The choice is simply to heal gradually while enduring the pain.

My face was severely bruised for three weeks. I couldn't see out of my right eye for a couple days. Head to toe with bruises, as you will see in the photos.

And my face has been such a mess.

I was supposed to renew my passport for work and personal reasons last month, but I had to delay that for four weeks, because my face was unrecognizable for photos. So that puts a lot of things on hold.

But mostly its the emotional trauma that carves the deepest.

The Emotional Trauma

I was blindsided. There were TWO of them! What kind of a cowardly, low-life kinda, bullshit is that?

And it came out of nowhere. I know the name of one of them. I’ve been days later told the name of the other. But I don’t know them. They don’t know me. And I hadn’t talked to neither of them. They certainly did not know Paul – whose memorial I was at.

It was so horrible. And I took the brunt of all their displaced anger and aggression. And I’m not interested in turning the other cheek. I’ve don’t that before. This isn’t the easiest neighborhood to live in.

But I’ve put in my time. I’m taken my lumps and I’ve earned the right to respect. And these little uneducated, likely unemployed bitches – just saw some blonde hair, and a white gal – and took it all out on ME.

So done with this shit.

This cost me a lot.

This changed me. My community let me down.

Aside from the one person who jumped in to pull of them off me the First Assault, maybe four ppl called me in four weeks to check in – to see if I was okay. To ask what the hell happened.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been assaulted. Primarily because I am white, I am attractive, I am employed – that’s right – I am a hard-working, caring, generous individual who has spent the last 20 years raising a child – single-handedly – because her dad pulled the ultimate dead-beat zero contribution – and I mean, literally ZERO.

And I did 20 years raising a child from birth to adult - all myself. And this community has seen me. Has known me. Has seen me rise up from the ashes time and again – but still, after five years – I get attacked again – and nobody does shit?!

They may say some rationale years ago… but they know the truth.

They know who I am. And they know this is wrong.

And at Paul's memorial this was out of the blue – I’m not turning the other cheek anymore. This was a hate crime.

I am an attractive, blonde, white gal. And they see everything they hate about white ppl when they see me.

And they’re wrong.

I’ve earned my stripes. I’ve taken my hits – all the while, single-handedly raising a child – in their midst.

They know me.

They really let me down.

I always forgave. Always came back with kindness, forgiveness, generosity and a heart to understand and empathize what they might be going through.

Not this time.

These two random gals, attacked me. Unprovoked. And my community did nothing to uphold me.

Even though I’ve been there for all of them a million times and then some.

This isn’t some bitter rant. I’m not passing the buck. I’m just saying this changed me.

They let me down. And after all this time, I can’t believe this happened again and nobody lifted a finger. They might try to make excuses for themselves – but we all know the truth.

Who I am.

Who they are.

And my community let me down. And I’m done with it.

Emotionally this random attack (from behind, by TWO assailants, no less) was so violating, humiliating, physically devastating, emotionally traumatizing, it took me weeks to finally write it out.

Hell, it took a solid week before I could even go to the hospital – I was crippled with excrutiating pain and fear, and an anger and anxiety I can’t even explain. I couldn't leave my house. I couldn't go to the hospital until the self-medication and constant ice-packs just didn't work anymore - and I thought, what if I have internal injuries??

And I cried, not because of the threat of internal injuries; but because this had happened. Because I was going through this.

I tried to put the ice-packs in place before I laid down that Saturday (Day 6) and the fan was blowing in my face, so I had to get up again to move it (getting up or down took 10-15 minutes the first couple days) that night it took maybe 7. But I just started weeping and then crying and then bawling.

And the next morning in my PJs and socks and slides; I put a few things in a bag, and put on my sunglasses amidst my 7 days without a wash ratted, dredlocked hair {couldn't shower for over a week - couldn't move my arms} - and I called an Uber and went to Emergency.

The beginning of healing happened then. The CT scans to my head, chest and abdomen came out clean, but we had to keep an eye on my pancreas. And the exrays showed, what I've already told you...

And the pain meds were prescribed, which messed up my head, but took a lot of the excrutiating pain away.

Anyhow. My point is that I finally cried. And it took a long time to get to today when I feel strong enough to write all this out.

And the financial losses – well that’s something else all together.

I didn't cause this. I didn’t deserve this

.

Not that ANY circumstance EVER is deserving of someone to justify themselves to physically attack someone – provoked nor otherwise.

And this was unprovoked. I was standing talking to a “friend” shortly after my friend’s memorial – when these two rando's – out of the blue - grabbed me by the hair, from behind, yanked me to the ground and proceeded to violently assault me.

In the chaos and confusion of it I kicked and tried to fight back a little bit – but – well, there were two of them, and they jumped me (unprovoked) from behind – so there wasn’t a lot I could actually do. I didn’t see it coming.

I was grieving the loss of my friend Paul.

They were just some random psychotic threats to society whom chose me as the recipient of their hate. I was product of their hate crime. I happen to be white and have blonde hair.

Now that I can finally breathe, grab some perspective and am not in such severe excruciating physical pain and emotional trauma I’m finally able to write this all out.

But just because my bruises and broken bones are healing and the pain management meds are finally subsiding, doesn’t mean its okay.

It’s not okay. There are ongoing, residual financial, emotional and social consequences resulting from this insane social injustice.

And I am facing all of it. Without cause. Without logic. Without justice?

Pretty sure that will come.

God is Justice and I know there is a reckoning coming.

Legally speaking, I’d like to sue them, but I presume they are unemployed, uneducated without means to provide compensation – but I can certainly pursue it.

Meanwhile, I’m hoping for your help.

The Impact:

• I lost my phone during the attack, along with three years of photos, videos, and crucial work files.

• I work online, so losing that phone and being unable to work because of my injuries has already cost me thousands of dollars in income.

• I can’t lift, carry, or perform daily tasks. Even simple things like buying groceries require help.

• I’ve been left with trauma, constant pain, and fear in my own neighborhood where I’ve lived for 20 years.

This unprovoked, aggravated assault has stolen my summer, my work, my body, my health, my finance, my community and my peace of mind.

Why I’m Asking for Help

I am reaching out because even though it grieves me to EVER ask for help – cuz, you know – in the end we are all responsible to take care of our own shit. I could use some help.

Your support will go toward:

• Medical care and pain management for my broken ribs and recovery.

• Counseling and trauma therapy to heal emotionally from this violence.

• Legal fees, should I need to pursue justice and protection.

• Replacing lost income and equipment, including the phone and content that were essential to my livelihood.

• Rebuilding my life after this devastating assault.

Closing Reflection

Thank you so much for reading this or watching this - and for your support and your kindness.

These past several weeks have been so displacing and traumatic, and physically immobilizing I was often at my wit’s end not even knowing what I was supposed to do next.

Some days just feeling like shit for having to sit and “heal” when I wanted so desperately to be “doing” something

– Working.

Enjoying my summer.

Being productive.

Cleaning my house.

Working on clients’ projects – anything…

I was crawling off the walls, because I COULDN’T DO ANYTHING – I was in too much pain. And I had to sit still and heal. Sucked balls.

Plus, emotionally I was going through madness in my head to understand "what the actual fuk" just happened.

I have lived in this neighborhood for 20 years. I have been part of a community here in East Vancouver, where I was thrilled to call my home.

I raised my daughter here since before she turned two.

I went through a lot of hiccups and took some lumps to climb to a place where I was treated with respect in this community

– and all that fell apart within two hours or being violently attacked by these ignorant rando's.

-and all the people I know from my “community” stood there for weeks presenting “bystander syndrome”?

I'm so very disappointed in EVERYBODY for how they handled this – or didn’t handle this. I few ppl called, but seriously. Not even.

Your Support Matters

All that said. I was able to work a few hours yesterday and I’m back on the rise.

I have incurred a lot of setbacks because of all this, so I’m finally strong enough to put this out there.

I’ve realized I don’t have to face this completely alone and your support really does makes a difference.

Contributing to my GoFundMe, won’t only help me get back on my feet, your support shows me you give a damn even though I was broken, beaten, robbed and forced to feel invisible and without value.

It shows me that you see me.

That there is some humanity left, even though the very concept of kindness has been stolen from me - it feels so scarce.

I know it is not... but these past few weeks. I don't even know.

All of this has left me feeling vulnerable, displaced, angry and at times, desolate.

Thank-you in advance for showing up to help me sort out the aftermath of this non-consensual battle.

Thank-you in advance for helping me to remember there is still hope and kindness in these moments, days, and even weeks when all of this has turned my life upside down and inside out.

I wrote this a week ago, but didn’t have it in me to post it:

“I didn’t cause this. I didn’t deserve this. I’m broken. I’m not okay.

And it carves me to admit it, but I need help.”

Today, I am stronger and using the word “need” doesn’t carve me as much to say. Because I know in the end we all have to go through our own shit.

But, this GoFundMe it to remind me that people actually might see that this is so horrible and its not just in my head. I don't have to move forward from this alone.

You guys are here to help. Be it donations, or sharing my story with friends & family or sending comments to help me reflect on any silver lining within all of this.

Your Kindness Does Matter.

Please share my story and my GoFundMe link with your friends. And/or make a cash donation to help me build my life back up.

Thanks in advance.

Anything helps.

— Hazel