Vinny needs help caring for his family

To my Dear Friends and Family,

It pains me to be having to type this, as I never like to ask for handouts, but I’ve found myself with no other options.

Over the past two years, I’ve been completely alone in dealing with the issues of my handicapped mother’s loss of mobility and my grandmothers ongoing decline in her battle with dementia.

My grandma was in grave danger living on her own, so we moved her to an assisted living last year and sold her home. We’ve been using the proceeds to pay for assisted living. We finally had her settled in a nice assisted living facility, but after landing in the hospital, she’s been at a rehab for the past few months.

Luckily, she’s sharing a room with her daughter (my mother) at the nursing home. We were hopeful for her recovery and to send her back to her assisted living, so she can retain as much independence as possible. But she only continues to decline and as a result, she’s going to need to stay in the nursing home.

But in our *lovely* United States Healthcare System, a different form of Medicaid is required for her to stay there than is required for her assisted living. In putting together the application, we’ve run into a roadblock.

Grandma had little money remaining after selling her house, paying off her reverse mortgage, and paying for the assisted living. For her to qualify for her insurance, that remaining money was gifted to me.

Over the past two years, I solely have been caring for the two of them. Grandma has moved twice, and my mother five separate times. Between all that moving, emergencies, doctor appointments, shopping runs, the administrative work which amounts to two full time jobs, and trying to fit in happy and normal visits - I’ve had to quit my full time job to be able to successfully do this and pivot to bartending (most nights til 4am) where I don’t make even 1/4 of what I was making at my full time job. Because of this, over the past 18 months, Ive had to use some of her money to help with my living expenses such as rent and car payments on a car I only have to be able to easily get to them on Long Island. We’ve also had to buy Bariatric medical supplies for my mother, along with 18 months worth of pharmacy runs and personal affects.

Though this money was gifted to me, the 20% that I’ve used to stay afloat myself and the money used on my mother and both of their personal affects is the only thing standing in the way of her nursing home Medicaid Application being approved and her being able to stay in the nursing home in the same room as my mother.

It doesn’t make much sense to me, but the gift has to be returned in full to her for her Medicaid application to go through or she will be deemed ineligible. We are currently short $45,000!

Part of that total is because we expected her to go back to the assisted living, and we now owe the nursing home an additional $13,000.

*Breakdown*

$15,000 on personal expenses for them that Medicaid will not qualify towards the total

$15,000 on 18 months of my living expenses

$13,000 to nursing home

$2,500 to assisted living

If I don’t make up this money by January 7th, she will be denied Nursing Home Medicaid, be unable to be taken back at the assisted living, and will be facing displacement from her daughter that I fought tirelessly for them to be together. The only other option being to pay $13,000 per month for her to stay there. So all this to say, she needs this Medicaid.

I have no pride in asking for this, but I come to you, some of my closest family, friends, and confidants that are blessed to be more well off than me and my family.

As life goes on, and they can be permanently settled together, my hope is that 2024 can be spent rebuilding MY life and financial stability that I have sacrificed 100% for them over the past two years. I pray that one day when that happens I can repay your kindness. But for now, I’m desperate.