Hello community. I’m reaching out with a hard ask during a hard time. I’m fast approaching a breast surgery date on April 3rd and an end of work-related income on April 1st. As an Independent Contractor for most of my life, there isn’t any job security, disability/ unemployment benefits, or savings to fall back on. But what I feel I do have in this moment is a strong sense of community and chosen family.

I’ve done a lot of volunteering and fundraising over the years for other organizations (Covid relief funds, Dyke Day LA, Queer Scouts United - transitioning queer foster youth, Project Q, Food Distributions...), as well as for community members in need. As vulnerable and untimely as this feels, I'm reaching out for some much needed support for myself this time. Through this month, I'll have compounding payments owed for surgery costs, rent, bills, and a looming 1099 estimated tax payment due April 15. The estimated total is around $5000, but any amount helps in this process.

(CW: Cancer).

MY HEALTH JOURNEY™

In November I received a diagnosis of left breast atypical ductal hyperplasia, a benign finding, however, surgery is recommended as it can upgrade to either precancer or cancer around 15% to 20% of the time.

My MyChart quickly lit up with appointments, referrals and test requests: A biopsy, MRI, bloodwork, Surgeons, and a genetic Cancer counselor, which I’ve been dedicating myself to over the past six months. I have a surgery date set to remove the cells and continue with more frequent testing as I’ve now been put in a higher risk category.

A LITTLE BACKSTORY

In 2022 I was a co-caretaker for my Dad during his pancreatic cancer battle and it shook me and took me to some dark places. The doctor did not catch my Dad’s cancer in time, so I’ve been hyper focused on preventative testing. In the past two years I’ve also learned of so many others’ battles (as well as resilient recoveries), which have inspired me to be extremely proactive about this process. Thank you for continuing to share your stories.

Dad.

Given my family history of Cancer: My Mom is a cancer survivor, and my Dad passing in 2022, I met with a Cancer genetics specialist to test for a more aggressive genetic predisposition for breast and other cancers. I also wanted to see if I had a little more leverage in advocating with my insurance provider for a double mastectomy, not only to lower future cancer risks, but to also feel more gender aligned in my body.

Psyching myself up for a biopsy at UCLA

What I didn’t know is that you may be denied life and long-term care insurance based on these genetic test results. From watching my Dad quickly pass from Cancer and the potential denial of future assistive care, I’m still building up the courage to take this test. So for the sake of urgency and my current financial insecurity, a more gender-affirming procedure is off the table...for now.

What IS on the table is this Gene Test, atop a fan of folders with test results from two other biopsies (neck mass, cervix) plus two x-rays (foot and knee) and two MRIs (hip and breast) I’ve had during the past year, many of which now require a diligent ongoing preventative care process, physical therapy, in addition more frequent breast monitoring.

MENOPAUSE SIDEQUEST

Parallel to this journey, I had an appointment with the Comprehensive Menopause Clinic at UCLA, shedding a little more light on some symptoms: In addition to the calcifying breast tissue, I am experiencing a musculoskeletal breakdown causing a kinetic chain between my knee and hip to weaken, which has caused my previous ACL (knee) surgery to flare up. (Yes, you may have seen me on my disco ball cane recently.)

Saldy, due to my recent breast diagnosis, I cannot ever take estrogen / progesterone as HRT for symptom relief. I requested a low does Testosterone as a secondary option, but was denied for that as well. I had researched symptoms via other queer-rooted Menopause sources (including my own perimenopause support group I hosted a few years back), but no matter how prepared I tried to be for this life shift, it has drastically affected so many areas of my health. It's unbelievable how much your body can change during this time!

NEXT STEPS: SURGERY DATE APRIL 3

The Surgeon at UCLA will remove the bad cells using a small piece of titanium, which they injected as a guiding anchor in my left breast around the affected area during a recent biopsy. They will extract and test those during the operation while I’m still under anesthesia and see if they need to remove more tissue mass around that area. I will have a post op appointment April 15 to check recovery process and next steps. I'd like to explore a more gender affirming mastectomy someday, but for now I just need to get the cells cut out.

GRWM (Get Ready With Me): MRI edition

SUMMARY

I’m mentally preparing for my procedure this Friday, feeling nervous but hopeful. I’ll be trying to take it slow after the procedure, but not too slow, as I’ll need to start looking for work shortly thereafter.

My income is paycheck to paycheck, with no savings or w-2 withholding, and high quarterly estimated tax payments. Additionally, an unexpected loss of anticipated earnings through April has created an even more urgent situation.

Doing what I love has felt like wealth and has allowed me to be highly active and present in my community, but I plan to look for more secure income going forward and facing these health challenges.

During my recovery, I will be sharing more personal health journeys in the GFM Updates tab to spread awareness around medical mid-life symptoms and stigmas. I hope by amplifying and contributing to these conversations, I can support others in taking preventative action, as your stories have inspired me.

Never not down to clown in a pink gown.

Thank you for reading and contributing, whether it’s monetarily or just to the conversation.

With immense love & gratitude,

~ V