USMC Vet struggling

I have had to write several hard letters in my life, and this is actually the hardest I think.  It is hard to swallow pride and ask for help.  The letter I carried in my flack jacket while in combat, and my recent suicide letter were easier.  I was recently released from the hospital after a suicide attempt in October, 2017.  This was one of several over the past decade, as I have battled PTSD, depression, and survivor's guilt.  I am currently, and have been for over a decade, fighting with the VA for help, and it just all seems to fall through the cracks.  I didn't expect to be here writing this letter, and I am trying to get by.  I have missed a lot of work due to my hospitalizations.  Not just from my recent stay, but to make all of the appointments for the VA as I have been struggling to get help from them.  Right now, I am just trying to keep lights on, food in my service dogs dish, and stay above ground.  If you want to know a little about me besides what is in this letter, google "comfort after combat" in the Coeur d'Alene Press.  I have been trying to hold on for years, and between missed work and medical issues, I am here asking for help now. 
   Any donations will go towards paying car insurance, electric bill, car payment ( I drive an old soccer mom van), and other simple living expenses as I get myself on to my feet. 
    A little about me:  I grew up in North Idaho, and enlisted in the Marines in 2001.  I did 3 tours all together, my last being the Battle of Fallujah, Operation Phantom Fury from 2004-2005.  I lost 31 of my brothers that tour, and it hit/hits me very hard.  I lost all of my closest friends.  Brothers have commited suicide through the years, and I have attempted to follow suit.  It just reaches a point of exhaustion from hurting physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it is a never-ending fight with the VA.  
   Anything you can contribute would be greatly appreciated, and it will get me into the orange.  I don't expect to get into the green, I am just trying to get by right now as I struggle to make my appointments with the VA and losing so much work.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Scott
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Organizer

Scott Widmayer 
Organizer
Coeur d'Alene, ID
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