Mom’s (Nancy Higgins) War, My (Eric Keeley) Battle

For me to write this is to admit defeat. It is to feel the embarrassment of not knowing what to do and not being ready for anything like this to happen. To ask for help is a feeling of not being able to take care of my own family, my own life. To finally ask for help, means I have no other options. While we can handle our day to day expenses, we can’t do all the other things that we need to do, not the wants, but the needs.

One phone call, the night of August 12, 2025, changed my mother’s life in ways we were not ready for. Over the course of the next six weeks we thought she was going to die in the hospital, that she would have brain damage, might not ever walk again, and finally surprised by her ability to go home. This rollercoaster ride left us in precarious situations mentally, physically, emotionally, and at the end of it financially.

The super short version of the story is that Mom’s liver ended up in stage 4 failure. This caused her kidneys to shut down, the toxins to build up in her brain shutting it down, and the weeks in the hospital did a ton of damage to her body’s physical abilities. She made it home where she has physical therapy a few times a week and a home nurse that comes to check on her. For her to come home, we had to make a ton of changes to her lifestyle, furniture, and even her craft room. You know it is bad if I am willing to do anything to that craft room.

All of the expense of new furniture, the time missed from working at school and Uber, the gas driving four hours each day to see her, and the never being able to eat at home, all started adding up quickly. Her savings took a hit and my savings is now non-existent. The money that we had back for medical and dental things is now gone. The medical bills are starting to come in, along with many more appointments to go.

If you would like to know the full story, please read on.

This experience scared the hell out of me a few different times and for different reasons. If it wasn’t for my ex-wife and family, I would not have made it through. Yes, my ex was my biggest support through all of this and stood tall as the best friend I know her as. Many of the times through this journey, when I say we I am referring to her, my mother, and myself.

Mom called me on August 12th, around 9 PM. She told me she was sweating but cold, having trouble catching her breath, and very weak. Rushing over to her house, we found her laying on the bed unable to get up. I immediately called 911 to have her checked out. EMT’s got there, and took her to Prince William Hospital in Manassas for further evaluation. Once she was in the hospital room she was in some pain, but vitals and all seemed ok.

We had been there about 3 hours when mom got sick and had a massive amount of blood everywhere. She was feeling better after that, but of course this had brought on new worry. The doctors decided that she would undergo an endoscopy the next morning. Around 4:30 AM, mom threw me out of the ER and told me to go home and sleep because she was going to do the same. She was more at ease and just tired, so I agreed.

The next morning they took her down for the endoscopy. They put her under and put a breathing tube in for the procedure. Inside they found enlarged vessels in her esophagus that had burst, causing bleeding into her stomach. The vessels were caused by her liver, which had been in stage 2 cirrhosis. They banded the vessels, cutting off the ability to bleed, then continued with the endoscopy. Once down to her stomach, they found too much blood and clots to do anything else. To not risk her suffocating on her own blood, they kept the breathing tube in and kept her under, while moving her to ICU.

Due to the blood in her stomach, her liver could not process anything as it should. This caused her liver to start shutting down, moving from stage 2 failure, to full failure. The liver not doing it’s job caused the toxin level in her body to rise, specifically the Ammonia level. As the ammonia level grew in her body, this started causing other things to shut down, such as her kidneys and brain function. Her blood pressure was dropping to dangerous levels quickly.

On August 14th between 1 and 2 AM, mom took her first ever helicopter ride with none of us knowing it. Due to the condition of her kidneys and liver, they used Medivac to get her to George Washington University Hospital in DC.

The next day, GWU had been able to get her stabilized enough to take her off of the sedation and blood pressure medicine she had been on. This was wonderful news to us. A social worker came in and talked with us about mom’s situation, and confirmed she seemed to be a good candidate for a liver transplant. Everything seemed good, until her main doctor came in with some bad news.

Due to the rush of needing to get her to a specialist with no other options, she was taken to GWU who is not covered by her insurance as it is an out of network provider. The doctor gave us the choice of moving her to University of Maryland Baltimore, or University of Virginia Charlottesville. We made the decision for UVA, but were told that she must be a little more stable before they arrange the transfer. The next day more concerns arose as her blood pressure was now high, and she had not started waking up at all yet. The sedation was no longer in her system, so she should have. The doctor was worried that these symptoms could be indicative of a stroke, so a CT of her head was done, but it came back normal.

August 16th around 8 PM, Mom was set to go on her second helicopter ride as they transferred her to UVA Medical Center. Around 10 PM I was told she had safely arrived and was moved directly into their ICU.

We didn’t go to Charlottesville that Sunday as there was a lot to do at home. A long conversation with the medical staff revealed that she was doing better regarding kidneys and blood pressure. They started giving her a very heavy dose of laxatives to try and flush the toxins from her body and aid with the waking up part. They planned to start running tests of their own to determine if she qualified for a liver transplant.

Mom finally started waking up on Wednesday, August 20. She was able to get the breathing tube out, but still had a feeding tube in for several days after. Her brain activity was a roller coaster, having mostly lows, but a few highs at times. On Thursday, she was well enough to be moved out of ICU to a normal room. She struggled with the Speech Therapist and Physical Therapist as she was extremely weak and mentally out of it a lot. The one shocking thing that came from that day was finding out her MELD score for her liver, was actually good enough that she no longer qualified for a transplant. Basically, as long as medicine can keep it working, then you don’t qualify.

Tuesday, August 26th, was the first time we saw hope for mom’s mental status and everything else. We walked in that morning to find her sitting up in bed and talking, with apple juice and water. That mental status was still in and out for the days to follow, but this was a sign of hope.

Over her time in the hospital, I thought she was going to die, then that she may never walk again, and that she may have permanent brain damage. However, she fought through all of this and finally left the hospital on September 4th, headed for a rehab facility. This was huge.

Once in the rehab facility, she started making great progress on things, even surprising the therapists. She was determined to get out of there and back home, where she could have food she could taste. She set her mind to it and finally on September 22nd, she went home.

In order to get her home, we had to fully redo her apartment to allow room for her rollator (walker) to fit everywhere. She had been so proud of her work before all this happened because she had managed to no longer need that rollator or a cane. But, at least there was a way she could come home. We got her a new adjustable bed, a power lifting recliner for the living room, handicap equipment for the bathroom, and more. We thought we had more time to prepare, but she was ready to leave that rehab facility sooner than expected.

Today she is doing good, but still has limitations. She can’t walk but so far without needing to rest. She can’t pick up anything over 2 lbs without struggling. She can’t grab things above her head without fear of dropping it. And she can’t drive at this point. How long will those things take, we don’t know, but she has us to help her as long as she needs.

As for the financial burdens now upon us…

FOR MOM (NANCY HIGGINS)

She lives on a limited fixed income but manages to get by. She had to take from that limited income in order to arrange for the new things in her apartment that were needed. She also has the copay portions of the medical bills that will start coming in, especially the bill from GWU, the out of network provider. With her liver, this will bring more doctor’s appointments, regular endoscopies and other tests. All of this will come at a price that we don’t have details on yet.

FOR ME (ERIC KEELEY)

Due to being out of work for 6 weeks, and not having anywhere near enough vacation leave to cover it, i had no choice but to exhaust my savings to make normal bills. Normally, my second job is driving Uber which covers my car payment and groceries, but I lost out on all money as well. Any appointments coming up for mom, I will need to take off work for and won’t get paid for any of it. The money that I had saved, was supposed to go for the extensive dental work that I need done, which I had already been quoted for. My spine specialist, after all my back problems, is waiting for me to get X-rays and another MRIl. Just the doctor’s appointments and medications alone are already a financial drain. However, before this, I didn’t have any extra but I was getting by. Now, I am not so sure at this point.

With this knowledge, I find myself asking my family and friends for any assistance they can offer. I hate EVERY part of having to do this, but I can’t let myself get consumed in this dark hole of financial stress either. All I can do is try.