Help Us Stay afloat and get around town!

*major sigh* Time to get super honest, I guess.

Let's start here... Life is funny when it comes to money for me. Money is something that seems to have always been a fickle thing in my life. The relationship I’ve had with money is understanding that I may have desperate needs but there’s always someone who could use it more than me. I may have been crashing in someone’s spare room, one bed to the three of us, but we had a bed and a place to call home for that moment. I know now it was survival brain, but even now if we can survive, my brain tells me we’re fine. A huge part of who I am is giving and sharing. Even as a kid, I wouldn’t want the whole cookie for myself, but for the kids who didn’t have one, and if they decided to share with me after they had it, it would make my entire world. This hasn’t changed.

That logic followed.

Homelessness, shelter living, crappy cars (and I mean crappy), walking across the city in all sorts of weather just to get to school, enduring quite a lot, starting a business only to have to halt because of said car, and I still am not comfortable asking for help, because of the same logic, that someone may need it more. I’m learning that’s not always healthy, that it’s ok to ALSO ask for help for yourself. I’m learning that my asking doesn’t stop the efforts for other people. That I can’t help others, on the scale that I want to, without receiving help myself. So this is me doing just that.

The current state of my life:

- Mom and sister live with me and we make it work because that’s what family is for when shitty landlords pull a crappy one in the midst of Covid

- Mom is having major surgery and will be out of work for up to 3 months and the finical hit while trying to build credit and so on will be real and pressing

- My day to day job is closing and I will be out of work (excluding the one-off potential side hustles)

- Both cars in the family need major work and aren’t safely functioning and we live in a non-commuter-friendly city (don’t believe the hype about Charlotte, transport is actually trash). One of which is beyond repair and needs to be scrapped.

And we need help. We need a functioning car between the three of us. We need financial help to make sure this roof stays over our heads because rent just went up and it’s getting tight, and housing stability is probably the main point of trauma I have in this life. We need support for my mom who has worked her butt off to provide as a single mom and has been crushing it to the best of her abilities, who won’t be able to work the next few months.

This ask is difficult, not because I have to ask, but because it’s not an ask to help others but to help me and mine. It’s a difficult ask because it requires a specific kind of gentleness, a specific kind of vulnerability. None of my life story is something I’m hiding but putting into words beyond a conversation, almost makes it deeply real, somehow more real than experiencing it. It may seem like my life is together and that I’m living this awesome life, but trust me, it’s not without its struggles and definitive hardships. Those things taught me to appropriate the things I have and the small beautiful things and moments. If you know me personally, you know I romanticize every bit of my life, there are many reasons for that, if I didn’t, the weight would’ve probably taken me out by now. So if there can be any encouragement for anyone, remember to appreciate all the bits. I may not love every aspect of the things I’ve had to live through or things I still have to endure and fight through, but I found joy and beauty in those small bits (I’ll get off my soap box).

How your help will be used:

If you can help, I genuinely appreciate it. If you can’t please share. All the help, in whatever form it’s in, is needed. a m THANK YOU!

If you want to chat about life, I’m here. If you have questions, reach out, I’m around.

My story, sadly, isn’t unique. So many black and brown people experience this kind of life all over the place, and yes I understand others experience it too, but understanding the struggle runs deep with us. Black and brown parents/parental figures, have to work so hard and sacrifice and struggle and fight battles every day just to provide, let alone take care of themselves. Do your research when you’re voting to make sure programs like SnAp, EBT, and so on, stay on. Do your part in making sure you do your part in voting so housing is stable for ALL and share about it.