Help a Mom And Siblings Through Grieving & Healing-Together
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For the past (3 days shy of 6 months) since April 4th, 2024, personally having just one surviving parent and no surviving grandparents (at just the young/mid life age of 44) I've been doing my best as a remaining present, single mother (of my 5) to survive and address sudden, massive life-alterations:
1) The unexpected tragic death of my 25-year-old son, Joshua James McDaniels, found hanging in a tree, 1 hour from Tulsa, & OKC, OK at Boomer Lake Park, with an immediate rush to "No Foul Play" (within hours, even before notified as his known next of kin) and sadly, still no thorough investigation. Though I was able to engage with relatives and other 3rd parties, willing to work together in selecting a funeral home (to get his body back to our Home Base in N Texas) to then plan and celebrate him, in a unified Memorial Service, all else has now been left solely on my shoulders, as it mainly was in his (and his two older brothers) lives. Unfortunately further common family dynamics (often played out amongst family units when loved ones pass without a Last Will & Testament or written Burial wishes ) are now requiring me to probate my son's estate, after my daughter, youngest son and I have also pushed through compounded hardships (based on the choices of other individuals), while embarking on multiple 4+ hour long drives (to and from my Oklahoma location and Joshua's last location). I've also navigated through countless hours (over weeks and months) in other necessary communications with police, MEs, attorneys, private investigators, forensic autopsy and funeral professionals (though due to previously absent/suddenly reappearing relative-induced challenges) Josh has not been able to be private autopsied or buried yet (due to these individuals). Reality is Josh shouldn't have been denied the OK state mandated/procedural autopsy required for "violent" suicide, homicide or accidental deaths (like tree hangings). Third parties & others initially expressing willingness to help push for early accountability in just truth through transparent thorough proper investigation regarding Joshua's death (in the days where all is captured most) were also stonewalled and/or became non-responsive in doing the work intended (with the ME report delayed, for just days under three months, after his passing.) As of today's date, Sunday, 9/29/24 a proper, appropriate, thorough investigation has remained denied. Though these past two weeks I've painfully watched it done governmentally, within days (showing my requests for the same was reasonable) as performed in a similar recent case (that went viral) in a much smaller and substantially less funded/resourced jurisdiction, where local, state and federal Law Enforcement all worked with MEs to investigate the "cause of death" in the other case. Although all concerns and requests for Josh have been dismissed still 6mos later, one week in, I (like media sources, notified by police before I even was) did not share the "tree hanging" facts surrounding his death, instantly aware of the potential for public racial tensions, personally conflicted, yet committed to prioritizing peace, maintained racial unity (of and for me and my son's community) requesting focus on celebrating the positives Joshua made of his life. This public response was clearly taken as a sign that silence and lack of appropriate investigation and transparency could work and just be accepted (though it should not have been or be), and I know in the eyes of a just God(who loved Josh too) it won't.
Josh text 3 days before allegedly "found dead" he couldn't wait to be reunited with and see his baby sister (we all had been unjustly kept from for 4-8+ yrs) where now the desire is truth (and not multiple stories from the same responding department) on "how" he was found, for closure and healing
Though the department has released his belongings back to me and stated his case record is releasable, days ago they requested I seek a legal process to be able to view pictures of my son, or pursue any lawful govt investigative processes.
It is more likely than not I will be unable to focus on/do this without the support of those, who if this was their child or close, beloved family member, they would want the same.
Why? Simultaneously (but less publicly) I've been consumed in broken focus, on serious needs for my 10y/o daughter too
2) From 4/16 to 8/16, nearly 25 Tx court proceedings and/or related interstate trips, in tasking, yet largely successful (but ongoing) self-representation, against lawyers, in family court hearings, post obtaining just reunion, in my 3/25/24 Pro'se Trial, for the unsupervised return, then unfortunately made necessary protective and restraining orders (for mine & my 10-year-old daughter's rights to safety & peace) became unavoidable. This, post family separation due to fraud, injustice and contempt (without proper enforcement of court orders) for over eight and a half (literally 80%) of her young, ten and a half year old life. This has definitely consumed great amounts of time, energy, capacity, financial resources, also causing immense family stress. From 4/16 to 5/24 grateful victories in family court (coming as long pursued answers to prayers, but unexpected) resulted in minimum 4 hour a day drives, interstate, 5 days a week, Monday-Friday, just to get her through her 4thgrade school yr in Tx, while being/residing in OK (since April 2020). Being ordered by three judges she remain in my exclusive custody, care and control for 4 months, after coming home with just the clothes on her back and shoes on her feet, creating instant financial needs forced to be met through previously raised emergency funds after Josh's shocking/tragic death
3) During these 2 life-altering, co-occurring daily stressors, I/we also spent over 30 days of summer in TX, then sadly and unlawfully forced to resume traveling interstate again (at least half the week for 3-4 hours) so I could be there for a third of my five children (now ages 10-29) for multiple life and freedom threatening emergencies and times, requiring my response and increased parental presence needed (and mutually desired) for my youngest 19/20 yr old son's grief-avoiding struggles, due in large part to his big brother's loss, post 9 yrs of family court and associated entities/people causing harm, with needs for greater parental support, as he continues to face many challenges he's fighting/overcoming, week after week, day by day, often, moment by moment.
All of these 3 sudden increased parental priorities occurred
4) While financially having to assume new extreme expenses in abnormal bills (due to having no option but to rent safe and reliable transportation) to address all of this (and more) hours away (here in OK) and in TX for now, my living (and recently lost) 3 of 5 children, commencing as soon as my paid-off car of 4+ years began stalling in intersections, days after my son's death in April (which was life-threatening for us and others on the road if I carelessly kept trying to drive it), so I was unwilling to put my daughter in it/at risk, even once, lacking thousands just sitting around to be utilized all at once to just go replace or repair a 2006 vehicle that has endured as an incredible investment but has other needs too
While I've been running on auto-pilot, often to points of exhaustion and passing out (during or at the end of highly stressful days when not solely with my daughter) this has all created insurmountable daily money challenges, in both my ability to maintain previous self-employment and income earning consistency, with prior time commitments, making continuously maintained (for 3 1/2+ years) safe, stable, affordable OK housing and associated expenses a greater burden then I've managed prior to my son's death & life drastically changing, all at once, in these recent days. Since the March 25th custody trial (and extreme joy after) and April 4th's immense grief, making more parental needs, in 3 different counties of OK and TX, my non-paid "full time job".
Post fighting as hard as any person can humanly do (to keep going these past 6 months) my body is now responding in grief more- physically, and in mentally and emotionally tasking ways, as I can no longer suppress, but must address my grief, the other traumas and cumulative effects. I'm in no way giving up, maintaining consistent, quality professional mental health and grief processing supports, with my faith, but I can no longer do it all financially- privately, needing to now seek and include public outreach requesting temporary financial support (for $1,000 by Monday, 9/30/24, worse case 10/1/24) to maintain transportation, freedom and health to respond to various family plights, amidst day to day survival needs in just life-recently reunited together as family, including the even greater needs for protection and healing, truth, and in turn, recovery for me and my children. With the remaining current $6,600 need hopefully/prayerfully met as quickly as possible, as I also begin more manageable work.
Though I worked hard over the past four months since June to avoid having to fundraise, with deep appreciation for the support from friends, family and various community/group members (over the past six months of unrelenting, and seemingly increasing storms of life and now death, we are just not through it all yet, where I know sometimes private support must expand to public outreach to better carry heavy loads and not overburden the few committed to walk with and not abandon in times of hardships, me and you.
Please share and give in any way you can to assist me as I continue to prioritize caring for my children, and now myself too (so I can), as I am also the only lawfully eligible next of kin/parent, pursuant to OK law, that can be granted appointment of Estate-Administration, along with potentially greater truth's closure, and definite finalization of other required needs in laying my son to rest (as still not buried), including winding up all of his affairs and getting through the ongoing legal modification process to obtain new orders for my daughter again, remaining available also for my son (all of which equates to full time work), as I get to resuming paid work, nowhere near the capacity of earning I need it to be.
Please know each and every dollar is appreciated, as well as your sharing of this GoFundMe, all prayers and encouraging words. Thank you and many blessings to you all. ~Marlana
P.S. For those that wish they had extra (in their own funds to give but don't and are willing to take 5 min to get $75-100 to me and you today, or who would prefer to give immediately available funds in support, avoiding transfer times and fees taken out (understandably and appropriately) by GoFundMe, your generous gifts may also be received via these sources:
CashApp: $FightToFreedom;
Venmo: @FirstFightToFreedomFamily;
Chime: $Marlana-Christopher;
Zelle: Please message to request details on sending
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Organizer
Marlana Christopher
Organizer
McAlester, OK