Hello everyone for those who don't know me my name is Rich Martin and the many that do ,this is by far the most humiliating and humbling thing that I have done so far in my life. To all that know me for being a cocky ,confident and more times than not, an obnoxious individual. oh I forgot complete asshole most of the time. Please allow me to take this time and apologize to anyone that I may have mistreated or offended . I am truly sorry for my ignorant behaviour. I have no excuse but I believe it was my own character defects mixed with immaturity running rampant with insecurity. Well if it makes you feel any better Karma came to visit me a few years ago ,she ended up moving in and she makes it a point to remind me everyday what a complete ass I was /am. Anyway the reason Im on here and asking for help is my wife of 20 years left me almost a month ago .She took the only car that we had and all the money that we had to our names. Yes that hurt but wait it gets better. The day before she was going to babysit for a few days at my step daughters house(Yeah Right) She told me she wasn't going to pay the rent literally 2 days after I just gave her $1500 ?? Something about her credit cards ?>?? WTF I just thought she was being her a little off in the head self but given a day or 2 to work things out in her head she would do the right thing SOMETIMES.... . So about a day into the baby sitting escape... She calls starts a fight and tells me that she isnt coming back ... OK you have the only car ?? Why did you take all the money ??? HANGUP on me.. WTF ??? I give her some time and spoke to her the next day and things got even worse Im not coming back . I was hurt but I quickly shifted into survival mode. The first thing I need to be able to pay the rent so I put an add up for a roommate to help with the bills also I was used to a house with daily caos ,1 unstable wife, 4 awesome children and a dog . So an Empty home scared me to say the least. I lucked out I must say I have a great roomy I must say. Well remember I still didn't have a vehicle yet and my profession is Handyman. So its mostly requires construction work and landscaping... Bottom line you need a vehicle.. Well my next plan was to buy a used truck ... I wanted to find something around 3-4K well I got lucky again .. I met a motivated seller with a used Dodge Ram with a lot of miles . I paid much lower than I was thinking I was going to ... So I got a little lucky there I was thankful because my lovely wife didn't pay the car insurance and in order forme to get a good rate on my insurance I had to pay the $450 that I thought we paid already???? Plus the down payment on my new insurance policy.. Well things weren't what they used to be but I wasn't feeling as lost as I did in the beginning. Surprise ,Surprise ,Surprise..... A little over a week has passed and A over- sized Minelli envelope was perturbing from my mailbox???? I was like no way divorce papers?? Already ???? Shit I wish they were,, IT was an eviction notice , claiming that the rent wasn't paid since May /??? WWWWTTTTFFFF I get on the phone and call my beautiful estranged wife ... As soon as she heard the tone of my voice she hung up and blocked my number ... After rent late fees and attorney fees I owe a little bit North of $7,400 I only have until Thursday to come up with $6500. But it gets a little sad now , about a year and a half I woke up with a lot of blood in my underwear then proceeded to urinate blood for more times than I admitted. Honestly I was scared shitless to go to a doctor Besides the blood I lost over 30 lbs most of it was muscle mass . I look like shit that probable helped her make her decision about leaving me. I lost my 19inch guns I think they are 12inch cap guns if I'm lucky... Well I finally built the courage and had the bloodwork done and a few other test and Its what I hoped it wouldn't be .... I was diagnosed with the stage 3 Pancreatic cancer .. The good news is, even though I didn't do anything about it for 9 months its a miracle that it wasnt stage 4 . If it would have been stage 4 it would have attacked other organs and my survival rate would be way down . I think they said Im a 77% chance of survival;.. Anyway if anyone is having symptoms weight loss loss of appetite, Stomach or back pains blood in you urine or stool go right away and have the tests done. If you read all of this GOD Bless. IF you can help thank you and if you cant god bless you . Thank you for your time and hope for your prayers