I am not one who normally asks for help, but this time it's a real emergency. I have been struggling in more ways than one and this time I need help out of crisis. Mentally and emotionally, I have struggled with both anxiety and depression as well as CPTSD in addition to recovering from the trauma of life I've experienced. For a majority of my life, I've felt like a burden and that I'm just in the way of everything or everyone. Even though I am in threapy and getting help, it's still taking a serious toll on me in numerous ways. I often figured out how to get my problems solved on my own and without asking for any major support, but this is a problem I'm not able to tackle on my own anymore.

I may be working part time while doing any side gigs I score, but it's just not enough considering the position I am currently in. I'm in debt over my head. I have been working non-stop to pay off what I owe for the past few years, every since I lost the most stable job of taking care of my grandmother back in 2021, where I wasn't eligible to receive a raise because I was both family and unlicensed. I'm at the point where I have $0 to negative in both checking and savings accounts, as well as any other accounts. Even with the amount of borrowing money I've done, it hasn't gotten me out of this mess I'mnot fond of being in. Back in June, my car overheated and died without being able to be fixed at all. The same week I got scammed and all my accounts are frozen with very little access to anything unless I pay to get all my devices cleaned, which I am unable to do as of the current circumstances.

This has been extremely tolling on me in several ways. I've had zero appetite or desire to live sometimes. I don't sleep because I am stressed out to the maximum. I come off like everything is going so well when in truth, it is not. I would do anything to rewind and start over if possible, but it is time to move forward and carry on. It's taken me a lot to get to this point. It was even hard to sit and type this out, but I have to ask for help out of this situation that I'm in.

I need help because I am in a crisis I can not solve on my own.

I know I've been selfless and giving throughout my lifetime because I knew what it's like to not be doing so well and need the help of others in times of need. I also know what's it's like to feel neglected or not included unless I am right in front of people. Now, I am in need of help, asking for more than just some words of comfort to get me through. Telling someone to stay strong when all they have isn't much is truly and honestly not that helpful to me or others according to my observations. I can't hold on for much longer. I need whatever you can spare. I'm not asking for any pity or words of comfort. I feel like quitting or giving up at times. I want to leave everything behind and run away, but these aren't options I'd prefer to choose at all. I also can not pretend any more that I'm doing great when I'm in fact not doing great at times. I would greatly appreciate it if you could share this as well as donate because I need this emergency relief sooner than later.

I am not living at all by any means possible. I am in constant survival mode 24/7, either I'm not eating at all or I'm only working and not partaking in life like I need. This is no way to live and what has happened to me, I wouldn't wish onto anyone at all. No one should suffer like this for that length of time.

Once I've reached my goal here, I would be able to repair my life and have a clean slate. I'd be able to pay off the debts I owe while still having some sort of safety net while I continue to work non-stop. I plan to pay off what I can, save up more properly and move out so that I may live on my own. I will be able to do all the things I need so that way I can work and do the things I love.

I'd be able to start my small vendor business of MysertI and Mayhem, with custom embellishments and sustainable clothing as well as spell jars and other spiritual goods. I'd be able to do that in addition to performing as my drag artist personality, August Thunderstorms, again and more often. I'd be able to balance everything. It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a village and a community to help those out of being in times of need and struggle.

Again, please consider donating as well as sharing my GoFundMe campaign. I could use a major lifeline to pull me out of this storm back to a port. Thank you in advance and much love to the collective.