My name is Jeremy, but I go by Cliff. I'm 41 years old. I have no job. I'm pursuing disability. I'm a victim of child abuse and suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues. I have episodes of "panicked disassociation" that disrupt my sleep cycle constantly and hinder my ability to keep appointments. I believe these to be symptoms of CPTSD. My previous GoFundMe was to raise the funds to pay out of pocket for an appointment with a psychologist to get diagnosed (or not) with CPTSD. I will get the results from that on the 7th of June. Now I need help again. This time the situation is even more dire. I will be homeless on or before the 31st of May. I am trying to get into a homeless shelter... but I honestly have no idea how any of that works. And the money for food I was promised would continue? It's already ended.

The reason I had to pay out of pocket is that, when my "mother" found out I was seeking a CPTSD diagnosis to improve my chances of getting disability, she stopped paying for medical insurance. This has been a consistent pattern with her. When she found out I was trying to start work as a Doordash driver... the only job I could come up with that allowed me to avoid all the reasons I normally can't work... she sabotaged the car insurance she had been paying for to keep me from being able to do that. By the time those issues were corrected Doordash was back to not hiring. The $50,000.00 my father left in his will specifically for my "health, education, and wellbeing"? She's spending it on somewhere for her to stay where they will cook her meals and clean up after her while leaving me to go hungry and my health to fall apart. She has wanted me financially dependent on her all my life. I think she thought if I had no option but to rely on her she could use that to control me. Now she's realizing that I've reached the point I'd rather die (not an exaggeration) than let her continue manipulating me like that. So she's trying to make my death happen. Her threats to kick me out of the home I've lived in my whole life knowing full well I have nowhere to go? She had a cop tell me I had till the 31st or he'd arrest me. Legal? Sure. Decent and human? Not so much.

I don't really want her money. None of it. She's left voicemails saying she wants to talk about her will. I don't care. I want to be free of her. Yes. Even if it kills me. I've only continued accepting the money and shelter from her till now because I literally had no other choice. But now that choice is gone too. I don't know what happens the next time I need food. Or to pay for gas so I can go pick up groceries. I have to keep paying my cellphone cause I got a new phone two years ago and it's still not paid off... and I can't afford to pay it off now to close the account. Two years ago I had no idea any of this was even a possibility. Plus I need to be able to call and receive calls from DHR, the lawyer that's helping me get disability, etc. I tried to switch to something pre-paid but... phone's not paid off. I can't even sell the phone to raise the money to pay off the phone and get something cheaper... cause the phone is too old and no one wants it.

So... food, gas, phone, and (because Alabama requires car insurance on all vehicles) car insurance. That's the bare necessities. Actually less than the bare necessities. I also desperately need insulin and blood pressure medication. I'm already having serious issues with my health due to not taking my insulin. Depression medication would help too. But all of that I'm probably going to have to do without. Food, gas, phone, and car insurance. I can survive with that for... well... until a critical organ fails from the untreated diabetes... however long that is. And all of this assumes I can get into a homeless shelter.

Food is about $1000 a month. I'm trying to get back on SNAP but, in Alabama, you need to be a special case for them to give you SNAP for more than three months. And then you have to prove you still need it every 3 months. And the most I've gotten from SNAP so far was ~$250.

Gas I can probably manage on about $50 a month.

Phone is $75 a month (literally cheapest plan they could put me on with my phone).

Car Insurance is $57 a month (minimum liability and every discount I could get).

I might be able to get assistance for the phone bill from some of the food pantries around here... and also food. And I'll keep trying to get on with Doordash. But, I can't expect that (only hope for it)... so, grand total is $1182 a month. I don't actually expect to be able to raise that much money. Certainly not month after month. So I'm starting smaller and we will see where it goes. Any and all help is appreciated.