Urgent Help Needed for Ash and Neel

– The Situation

Hello ! My name is Ash, I am a trans man living with my boyfriend Neel and we are abruptly having to move out of our home.

On Wednesday, August 13th 2025, our roommate informed us that he would not be renewing his portion of the lease. Our lease ends on September 28th, 2025. With just over one month's notice, we don’t have enough time to save for a deposit on a new place or rent a U-Haul to move our belongings.

We both work full-time jobs; I manage a seafood department in a grocery store chain, while Neel is a professional freelance artist. However, the timeframe we have been given doesn’t align with our finances. We cannot afford to live here alone, and our landlord will not let us find a replacement roommate.

Ultimately, we need to find a new place to live in the PNW area, and on such short notice, neither Neel nor I are financially prepared to move. We don’t have the savings for essentials like a U-Haul and most places require a deposit, first month’s rent, and last month’s rent—three times the monthly rate upfront.

We’re not looking for a fancy apartment or home—just a roof over our heads and a safe, stable living situation so we can continue to work, grow, and live. Due to it being Washington state, apartments are very costly. We are mainly looking at apartments that are either a studio or a 1 bedroom and only around $1200 a month, so that x3 plus a U-Haul and any other fees brings us to the $5000 we are currently asking for help raising. We are selling loads of our belongings as well to help fund this move.

– Our Story

Back in July of 2024, our roommate offered Neel and I the chance to find a place to live together. At the time, Neel was living in Texas and looking for a way to move to Washington to be with me, while I was looking for a way out of living with my ex-wife (we are still friends but there was understandable tension with living together). The three of us collaborated and searched for homes and apartments that fit our combined budget until we found one that worked.

We signed the lease on September 28th, 2024, and Neel proceeded to move all his belongings from Texas to Washington while I flew down to help him pack his U-Haul to do so. We officially started moving in on October 2nd, 2024. During our time together, it’s been peaceful, and we’ve all been good roommates to each other. We’ve celebrated birthdays, hosted Thanksgiving with friends, and had family come visit—among other memories.

Everything was going smoothly, with no signs of tension. Our roommate encouraged open communication, assuring us that if he ever had a problem, he would talk to us—and encouraged us to do the same.

On July 2nd, 2025, he mentioned that there might be changes in his life and career that could affect us. He said his job had become stagnant and unfulfilling, and he was exploring other opportunities. He also mentioned, “There is a non-zero percent chance of me moving back to the East Coast for a job opportunity.” That was the first red flag for us, though he said the chances were very low.

From that point on, we asked him to keep us updated and frequently checked in on his job search. Just to be prepared, I began looking for better-paying opportunities or even a second job to help make ends meet. Meanwhile, life at the house continued as usual.

A few weeks passed with no updates. We overheard mention of an East Coast job falling through due to low pay, and after that, we didn’t hear anything more about his job plans.

As August 13th approached, nothing seemed to change. There were no updates, and no apparent signs that our roommate was uncomfortable living with us. That night, he asked to meet with us in person and informed us that he would not be renewing his lease. He said it wasn’t personal—he simply couldn’t work with other people in the house and needed his own space.

Our roommate is required to go into the office on workdays, but he’s not obligated to stay for any set amount of time and often returns home to work remotely. Neel also works from home, in a different part of the house, as a full-time freelance artist. It’s a quiet job, and he tends to stay focused and keep to himself. Meanwhile I currently work as a grocery store seafood manager and am often out of the house five or more days a week for at least 9 hours a day.

So you can probably understand our confusion when we are told someone “can’t work with roommates.” I feel there are more logical and ethical solutions to this problem than spending money to solve it—but I guess it’s easier to throw money at problems when you have it.

If he had simply told us he wouldn’t be renewing next year (2026), that would have given Neel and I plenty of time to find a new place. It would’ve been a much more reasonable solution. We tried talking to him, asking if there was anything we could do to change his mind or at least get more time. We offered to consolidate and move Neels office and my belongings so we’d only occupy one room, etc.

But every compromise we offered was met with a “no.”

– Where We Are Now

Today, Neel and I are actively searching for apartments anywhere in the PNW that fit our budget and offer either new job opportunities or a chance for myself to transfer my job from the current location.

We’re creating this GoFundMe with the goal of raising enough money to rent a U-Haul and cover the costs of moving into a new apartment before we become homeless. Most apartments within our budget still require a deposit, first month’s rent, and last month’s rent—three times the monthly rate—which we simply don’t have right now.

On top of everything I was put into a pretty large debt sum back when I lived with my now ex-wife, as she suddenly had a life altering stroke while we were together and I had to take excess time off work, commute to various hospitals, caretake and help pay our living fees at the time. I have never financially recovered from that, on top of then getting the divorce and moving out of that house which put me into more debt.

I have to frequently attend doctors appointments every 3 months in order to get my testosterone and various other meds to keep myself together. These doctor visits can range from $80-$400 even with my insurance and I can't keep up with the bills and debt paybacks let alone moving again, which is why I have been actively applying for better-paying/second jobs.

Despite that we both currently work full-time, which makes it extremely difficult to set aside time for apartment tours and job interviews. Most apartments close before 5pm, and I'm typically off work at 3pm, with travel times I am being forced to leave work early which is making my checks even less, which makes me appear less viable as a tenant, as they want my last 3 checks.

I wish we weren’t in this predicament, but we are—and at this point, all we can do is power through and do the very best we can. I second-guess every decision I make because I’m trying to do what’s best for both of us and move forward.

Our absolute last option is to raise enough money to send Neel back to Texas with his parents, which would put his artist work completely on pause for roughly 2 months, and I would be made to either live out of my car here in Washington or move back into my parents who live in Idaho. My parents kicked me out of the house for having married a trans woman back in 2019, they are horrifically transphobic/racist and can NOT find out I am trans, which means I would have to fully stop all my medications/detransition if I moved back in with them. It would also be career suicide for me as I have only worked in seafood hospitality my entire life, and would then be in a landlocked state.

– Thank You

Thank you to every person who finds themselves on this page for taking the time to read our story and understand our situation. Whether you choose to support us through donations or to simply help spread the word, it means more than I can ever put into words. Every donation—big or small—helps us take a step toward our goal and puts us closer to having a roof over our heads.

-Ash and Neel