To be honest, I will be sharing more than I would like and would prefer not to have to create this page, but at this point, I have no other choice. So here it goes...

I am a single mother of four children, three girls and a boy. The profile picture I posted is of my children and I, but I blocked out their faces for their privacy. The father of my children is absent in their lives and avoids paying child support at all costs. Unfortunately, when he was around in the past, we went through a lot because of him. I've lost everything more times I'd like to admit because I tried to make it work too many times. What I have been through with him made me stronger and wiser, though. Somehow, I have always managed to find a way to support my kids and try to give them the most and best experiences possible that I can.

I spend a lot of my time volunteering for the schools my children attend and the extracurricular activities they are a part of, such as band, football, soccer, and volleyball. Some of the greatest highlights of my life have been during the times I am volunteering and supporting my kids, and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I have so much fun being a support for my kids, the students, the teachers, the teams, and the parents. I often give more than I probably should, but I realized that serving others brings me great joy and, no matter what it takes, I try to figure out whatever is needed to make it happen. Buying someone a coffee, writing a small note, or putting a smile on someone's face by saying something funny or just smiling at them as I'm walking by makes my day. It fuels my energy! I try to give as often and as much as I can, even if it's just by giving my time.

Through my life, I have always been a person that sees the glass half full, counts my blessings, puts my kids and others before myself, and always have a smile on my face. However, a little over a year ago, I felt a change in me. It seemed harder and harder to always be optimistic, which I couldn't understand why because I KNOW how much I am blessed. A short time later, my teenage son was getting into trouble and acting differently, I found out one of my daughters has an illness that could lead to liver disease at a very young age and ultimately be fatal if her condition worsens, and there were passings in my family, among so many other things. Although I don't like to admit it and always tried to make it seem like things were peachy, I really struggled emotionally. In September, my kids and I moved into a new house, but the move ended up being harder on me than I expected, and I feel like that was the final straw. It broke me. Whatever little strength I feel like I had left was gone.

In October, I finally decided to be honest with my doctor by telling her my anxieties and all the ways I was struggling internally. At the beginning of November, my doctor put me on a leave of absence from work for mental health. I was able to start meeting with a therapist and working on getting back to where I used to be. I was on an approved paid medical leave, but then, four days before Christmas, I didn't receive my paycheck. I was told to have my therapist submit more paperwork, which I did, and was able to get that paycheck right after the new year. I then was denied any further payments until my doctor and therapist submitted more and more paperwork. After the paperwork was submitted, I filed an appeal on the denial decision for paid medical leave. I didn't receive a paycheck the whole month of January and was forced to return to work just so I'd be able to pay rent late for February and support my family. Although I wanted to work on getting better without having to take medication due to the potential side effects, I decided to start taking medication upon returning to work. I worked an entire 2 weeks in one pay cycle, but then only received one week of pay. I had to request an off-cycle check, but then didn't receive it for another 2 weeks. This is probably needless to say, but none of these things were easy to deal with. While trying to improve myself and our situation, it just made things ten times harder.

At the end of February, my appeal was approved, and I was paid for the time in January I had not previously received pay for. I had a lot of catching up to do and late fees to pay, but finally, things seemed to be more stable and looking up. During this time, I had to change my medication, and it often makes me feel sick, but I continue to take it with the hopes of finding the right balance.

Unexpectedly, I lost my job at the end of March after having worked there for the last 15 years. I put a lot of my heart and my soul into my job and had been really proud to say that I was employed there, so losing it has been really hard on me. Not only am I mourning the loss of my job, my anxieties and fears have increased not knowing how I am going to support my family or if we're going to lose our house or how I'm supposed to make Easter good for the kids or how I'm supposed to make prom and band banquet beautiful and a great experience for my daughter or how I'm supposed to make her graduation special or how I'm supposed to make my other daughter feel special for her 5th grade promotion ceremony, and just so many other things. Through EVERYTHING, all the things with their dad, going back and forth through court, financial struggles I have had, all the time I spent working, not getting enough sleep trying to do everything and make everything possible for work and the kids, I have tried to shield my kids from as much as I can. Trying to make it seem like everything is ok and under control. Trying to keep them busy so that the absence of their father isn’t as evident. This has brought even more anxiety and exhaustion to me, so I finally had to be honest with them on some of the things. I have to say, though, they have been so understanding and really great about trying not to add additional stresses and trying to help more around the house to make things easier for me. It's like all the love and support I have given them throughout the years, they are throwing right back at me. It makes me sad that they have to be in this reality with me when I have always tried to shield them from it, but it makes me SO proud at the same time. I'm not saying things are always perfect, but it's made it a little easier.

I applied for unemployment, but they said it could take 4 to 6 weeks, IF I am approved. If unemployment benefits are approved, I will be receiving less than half of what I was making while I was working which is not enough to cover our household bills. I have already created a new resume and started applying to jobs, but in my experience, it takes more time than I have right now.

With all the humbleness I have in me, I have decided to create this gofundme page and share my story. I am sorry to have to ask, but if there is anything you are able and willing to contribute, I will be eternally grateful and I promise to pay it forward whenever I can, as often as I can. Any funds raised will be used to pay our rent first then our other household bills, such as utilities, cell phone, etc. If you are not able to contribute, prayers are appreciated, as well. :)

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to visit my page. May God bless you and yours. ❤️