help a black nb lesbian move out of toxic house
Donation protected
UPDATE 1 : HE HAS MOVED OUT!!! however i'm still scared that he might come back. and plus the trauma is still enough to make me want to move out. i want to be able to heal and being in the house i was traumatized in doesn't help well. :( thanks for the donations BTW!!
UPDATE 2 (as of 5/18/21): as of right now i am bringing this back for two reasons: because of the original reason (my ma's friend traumatizing me) and my ma's toxicity (she has also traumatized me in the past). i will update this with updated info, as well as the explanations for these two reasons.
my name is charee and i am a 19 y/o black nonbinary lesbian who's looking forward to moving out of my ma's house.
info about my ma's friend traumatizing me: he has come into my room multiple times (when i was about 17-18) and it has made me so paranoid that i wake up randomly at night, can't sleep on a certain place on my bed, and generally making my mental health and intrusive thoughts worse than ever.
as far as i know, he has come into my room twice WITH ME NOTICING; however, i am not sure if he has came into my room more times than that nor do i know if he has touched me while i was asleep. he used to live here but then he quote unquote "moved out". he has also done things like steal my phone, comment on my body, tried to sneak in while i'm showering, etc.
i don't understand it because he still comes over here despite me telling my ma about what happened. as far as i know, everyone in my family hates him but even then my ma doesn't seem to understand that and keeps him around anyway. he even has a key to our house still. every time i see him it brings back bad memories and i'm just sick of it.
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info about my ma and her toxicity & her traumatizing me: me and my ma always had a pretty rocky relationship. she is very ableist, saying that she thinks that i'm not autistic and when i talk about getting a diagnosis she would literally laugh at me and disregard anything i said. she never listens to me, it feels like she doesn't WANT me to be disabled. she even went as far as to say that i should go to special school back when i was in 7th grade. she never apologized for these things, and i had to be a bigger person.
she has also caused me many panic attacks in the past, the biggest panic attack was when i first told her about the guy i mentioned coming into my room. when they guy denied these claims, she immediately trusted him and not me. she took me to her job and also dragged me out to go to a public restaurant, all of this while i having the worst panic attack in my life.
the second time i told her she STILL didn't believe me, and even let him stay in. recently i brought these two events up, and she argued that i'm lying about being traumatized. again, i had to be the bigger person by staying calm while she yells at me.
she is also transphobic. she doesn't want me to be nonbinary/masc leaning. she always gets mad at me and ignores me when i say i want to wear something gender nonconforming.
i honestly don't feel like i belong here, being in the house with her. i just want to feel better mentally and get the fuck out of here.
i have tried to contact my siblings + dad about moving into their houses, but they're unavailable and/or busy. the most i've gotten was my brother saying i could stay at his friend's house, however he wants me to be there when i'm in college (which is in winter of 2022). i just want to get out as soon as possible.
usually i would say this isn't urgent, but i really need to get out by august 2021, with the latest being around late january 2022. please boost if you can but do NOT spread it on facebook or instagram.
UPDATE 2 (as of 5/18/21): as of right now i am bringing this back for two reasons: because of the original reason (my ma's friend traumatizing me) and my ma's toxicity (she has also traumatized me in the past). i will update this with updated info, as well as the explanations for these two reasons.
my name is charee and i am a 19 y/o black nonbinary lesbian who's looking forward to moving out of my ma's house.
info about my ma's friend traumatizing me: he has come into my room multiple times (when i was about 17-18) and it has made me so paranoid that i wake up randomly at night, can't sleep on a certain place on my bed, and generally making my mental health and intrusive thoughts worse than ever.
as far as i know, he has come into my room twice WITH ME NOTICING; however, i am not sure if he has came into my room more times than that nor do i know if he has touched me while i was asleep. he used to live here but then he quote unquote "moved out". he has also done things like steal my phone, comment on my body, tried to sneak in while i'm showering, etc.
i don't understand it because he still comes over here despite me telling my ma about what happened. as far as i know, everyone in my family hates him but even then my ma doesn't seem to understand that and keeps him around anyway. he even has a key to our house still. every time i see him it brings back bad memories and i'm just sick of it.
- - -
info about my ma and her toxicity & her traumatizing me: me and my ma always had a pretty rocky relationship. she is very ableist, saying that she thinks that i'm not autistic and when i talk about getting a diagnosis she would literally laugh at me and disregard anything i said. she never listens to me, it feels like she doesn't WANT me to be disabled. she even went as far as to say that i should go to special school back when i was in 7th grade. she never apologized for these things, and i had to be a bigger person.
she has also caused me many panic attacks in the past, the biggest panic attack was when i first told her about the guy i mentioned coming into my room. when they guy denied these claims, she immediately trusted him and not me. she took me to her job and also dragged me out to go to a public restaurant, all of this while i having the worst panic attack in my life.
the second time i told her she STILL didn't believe me, and even let him stay in. recently i brought these two events up, and she argued that i'm lying about being traumatized. again, i had to be the bigger person by staying calm while she yells at me.
she is also transphobic. she doesn't want me to be nonbinary/masc leaning. she always gets mad at me and ignores me when i say i want to wear something gender nonconforming.
i honestly don't feel like i belong here, being in the house with her. i just want to feel better mentally and get the fuck out of here.
i have tried to contact my siblings + dad about moving into their houses, but they're unavailable and/or busy. the most i've gotten was my brother saying i could stay at his friend's house, however he wants me to be there when i'm in college (which is in winter of 2022). i just want to get out as soon as possible.
usually i would say this isn't urgent, but i really need to get out by august 2021, with the latest being around late january 2022. please boost if you can but do NOT spread it on facebook or instagram.
Organizer
Charee J
Organizer
Panama City, FL
