Hello,
My name's Lindsey Jayne, I'm a nonbinary transmasculine person fundraising to get my top surgery done in the spring once the semester ends.  

The surgery is traditionally called chest masculinization, it's a FTM gender reassignment surgery that I'm getting so I can live to be my happiest self in a body that reflects what I feel on the inside. I've lived with dysphoria my whole life, but I have a vivid, specific memory of being 13 years old, holding my chest back under my arms in a mirror and feeling so euphoric at what I saw. This euphoria I felt further devolved into a panic attack where I was telling myself that I couldn't be trans. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. Having a panic attack while seeing yourself in the mirror because something feels wrong is one of the first ways gender dysphoria is diagnosed in minors.  When I think of myself, and what I need to be comfortable, I imagine a flat chest. I remember being even younger than that, frustrated that my cousins could run around shirtless and I couldn't. 

A lot of people say they get body dysmorphia when they go through puberty, as your body is going through changes you can't control, but eventually, most level out and begin to love and accept the changes that have happened to them. I never have. My discomfort with myself only increases the older I get. Not only am I dysphoric, but I am uncomfortable in a sensory sense. My chest is bigger than most, so I get back pain, sleeping comfortably with my chest is difficult and I hate looking down at myself. Often when I sweat, I get skin irritation under my chest. 

Binding is very difficult for me, as my chest is so big that I can't breathe correctly when I bind, and I can't do it for more than a few hours without intense chest and back pain finding me, often along with a great feeling of anxiety. If I go out wearing my binder, I take it off the moment I get home, as wearing it is near excruciating. It's sweaty, uncomfortable, painful, and restricting. My chest isn't even flat with the binder. All I can do, most of the time, is wear big shirts and try to ignore it, but its hard. Often I am choosing between pain and anxiety, or dysphoria and anxiety. 

My quality of life would greatly improve if I got this surgery, as I have always wanted it, and I think I would want it even if I wasn't nonbinary. 

I know things are difficult for everyone financially in the wake of the coronavirus, so I only ask that you donate what you can spare, but know that if 2,200 people donated 1 or 2 dollars, I'd reach my goal with hardly any a dent in people's wallets. Even if you can only spare that much, I will be eternally grateful. 

If you're a friend of mine and you donate, feel free to contact me for a little doodle, or piece of artwork. I'd be happy to show my thanks. 

Insurance is covering 80% of the 6000-8000$ surgery, so this fundraiser is to cover my 1000$ deductible and the remaining 20% of the surgery. Any funds left over, if any, will go towards medications and be donated towards an LGBT fund of my choice.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much! Thank you to my family and friends for supporting me all the way, you all mean the world to me. 

Jay