Heads up.. there is an essay coming. If you want skim through or skip to the bottom. The middle gives a little background. The bottom gives the reason. I feel like its a good read. Not Stephen King good.. but blogger-ish (maybe) good.
So type this adds a little bit more to process along with everything else going on. I NEVER thought I'd be going to GoFundMe for anything other than helping others by contributing myself. But here I am...you know.
So in the picture you'll see (from top left to bottom left): my aunt Sue, my aunt Doris, my aunt Paulette, and finally my mom, Melaine or Laine. I wanted to use a picture of a happier time. A picture to show you who she used to be. I didn't wanna use a picture of who she is now more for myself than any other reason. This is hard in general so I didn't wanna make it harder. Happier times.. happier times.
So, my mom has been bedridden for... damn.. a while. I really can't remember how long it is, but I am sure it has been for a pretty good chunk of the last decade or so. She lived with myself and my aunt Sue (top left) until my aunt's untimely passing about threeeeee or four years ago. I really don't remember how long ago that was. I can tell you the day she passed but not the year. I'd have to inquire with my Facebook memories for that since they keep up with EVERYTHING. I took care of my mom with the help of home health until the pandemic started and it all went to me. I think before that she had become more relent on me doing most of the work than the actual techs. She said I knew what I was doing. They didn't. I really didn't. Man, it was more winging it than actually knowledge. I worked 8-12 hours at my third shift job and then came home and took care of her the rest of the time. When they was home health coming and helping then I worked a second job part-time on the weekends to help put a little extra money the house and some extra change in my pocket. I called it my "Chinese food money" because I love Chinese food. Who doesn't? Getting back on topic.. I had to take on everything. Cooking. Cleaning (which I did slack on at times), bill paying, etc. I had to run the whole show. The whole shabang. It was rough at moments but I did what I had to do because she took care of me as a child so I felt it was my duty to take care of her in her state. I did become a top tier adult diaper changer in the end though.
Hands Down.
Anyways.. she went to the nursing home back in September of 2020. Health has been on a little bit of a decline since then which I thought was because she didn't really care for their food because of the lack of seasoning and junk. She lost some weight but I thought nothing of it. She was always more of a cheeseburger person and not mystery meat Wednesday person. It is one of though things where you think nothing really about. Well that all changed July 18th, 2021 (this past Sunday). I took her something to eat from her favorite fast food chain and she took one mouse bite and was done. Fast forward a couple days to Tuesday and she was sent to the hospital to be checked on. They did their hospital things and we get the news. She is in the final states of complete kidney failure. I think the team is actual kidney failure or renal failure. Hospice has been brought in today which is July 22nd, 2021. It feels like time is ticking very slow and super fast at the same time thinking about all of this.
Now that I've given you a little background on her situation. I'm going to give you the reason. She doesn't have life insurance. I had always thought she did. We used to get letters in the mail when I took care of her from a certain insurance company so I thought it was a monthly letter of said company. I-I-I-I-I was wrong. She had me believing that a relative of mine was paying on it. She was wrong or she lied to me so I didn't stress out about it. I never stressed about myself because I have like three through my job. If I die, cremate me and throw my ass in a etch-a-sketch and we're golden. I can't do that to her. I know she wants to be actually buried but that is way outside the possibilities at this point in time.. well at this point at all. But I want her memory and legacy to be something cherished. If I could do more without anyone's help I SO would. I just can't and I feel like a failure for not being able to do more.
So I'm for help from people I know and people I don't know. Help me give my the best cremation that I give. Help me give her one that she deserves. When I think of how she was when I was growing up... she was hard working. She was the provider for me. She is my hero. So now I'm asking you to help me be her hero. Help me give her the send off to eternity that is fit for someone that deserves it and so much more than I can ever do or give her.
Thank you for your time,
Kris.