As you all may know the last few years I have been through hell and back again. There have been good times and very difficult times of much pain. I have encountered and witnessed so much of life and through the pain I have found my strength which comes from God and Jesus Christ.
I now find myself in a situation in which I could not have forseen. I purchased a Truck Mazda B3000 1999 about a week and half ago. Only to find myself broke down on the side of the road once more. I was able to get to a mechanic last week. I just got news this morning that stole my breath from me. " THE ENGINE IS BLOWN, YOUR ARE GOING TO NEED A NEW ENGINE." My heart sank, Its old and a little bit BEAT UP, a bit like myself but I am so proud of it, I worked my ass off for it.
It embodies my journey and where I have come from. It took being on the streets for a year walking in as much grace as I could, learning and seeking a much deeper relationship with God and Jesus Christ. They found me everyday in everyway and lifted me to a whole new place. A place in which my life is no longer mine, a place a full surrender where I have truly found peace which I call serenity saved by amazing Grace. I have learned to humble myself in all things, to walk a little softer to live a little louder and to live in and out of Love. Life for me is little acts of kindness.
I began my journey to Austin Texas from the streets of Fort Worth Texas where I spent a yr on Bryant Irvin under a bridge one that I now like to call "Battle Bridge." The bus ride up to Austin Texas was my fresh start.
I found myself more at peace than ever before. I began working construction for a place to stay on the jobsite and about a week later was able to work off a vechicle. This vechile was old but was told it would get me to West Texas in which it did. I was able to get on with Integrity Drilling. Then had a launching pad back to directional drilling with Hawkeye Directional. This is where my journey turned south once more. I was guarnteed they had the work. And after a few weeks I found myself back at home waiting on a call that never happened, only to find out the contract never came through. Myself and my little red car had made it back to Austin we were tired and felt the weight of the world once more.
I found employment with Alltech Drilling in Austin Texas in late March. I have been with them since.
The little red car that could would no longer give me anymore. It too left me broke down on the side of the road. Thats when the blessing arrived of my LITTLE GREEN TRUCK this was a great day where I was beyond proud of my walk and where I have come from.
Last week I have just recieved news ALLTECH DRILLING IS heading back to Portland Orgeon. Once again panic sets in. Not knowing what is going to happen. Then Quanta Communications for whom we drill for comes to mind. The interview is set and half hour later an offer is on the table. With the passing of a drug test the stage is set for me to finally be on stable ground to be well rooted and deeply planted.
Im am starting to work for them on the 20th of May. This is just a little part of my Journey I like to call life just a passer goer byer trying to get it right.
As my truck sits in a shop awaiting a new engine, I humble myself once again. I do not find it easy asking for help but this is my life line in which my rock for solid foundation sits upon. God has lead me and guided me in my everystep and I am asking for your help, I am asking with all my heart with all my soul ANYTHING HELPS.
I've failed at times as a husband, boyfriend, brother, friend, and son...and as a MAN..I don't always say the right things. I don't have an picture perfect physique, but WHAT I DO have, works for me, I'm not the most handsome man in the world, but I am ENOUGH! AND I am me.
I have deep scars because I have a history, I have lived a life and lived it well. Some people love me, some like me, some don't. I have done great. I have also fallen short. I'm random and silly, outgoing, loud but I have a heart of gold and more love to give than I know what to do with.
I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. Im Honest & Loyal, I am who I am, you can love me or not. But MOST importantly I'm A MAN OF GOD. He is my life and guiding light! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart and all my soul!!
I make no apologies for WHO I am. God has created me in his image, He is my Potter and I his clay mold me and mend me as you see fit. Thy will not my will be done. We are Beautiful examples of Gods perfection. Beauty ARISE from ASHES!
Best is yet to come. Stay the MOTHERFUCKING Course, Be A Wolf, Be A Lion and create your own path.
My name is Benjamin Tardy Sullivan this is not where my story ends but just begins because I know beyond a reasoned doubt my VERY BEST IS YET TO COME.
Thank you for taking your time to read just a little about me and my story of AMAZING GRACE. God Bless
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