Antoinette's Medical Fund/Surgery
Donation protected
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world! 
Almost five years ago a small sharp pain arose in the back of Antoniette's neck. Labeling it "stress" [related], she simply over looked the root of the issue and only scheduled therapeutic sessions to "relieve the tension". As the years went by, the acute pain became more frequent, each time growing stronger and longer in intensity and timing, until about 3 years ago when the pain did not go away. We went to doctor after doctor, saw specialists, went to hospital after hospital, and visited the ER numerous times. After a year of searching, we still knew nothing about what was happening to her body. The doctors put her on very high doses of medication which made her, for the most part, non-functional. I'm sure there's at least a few of you who can relate to doctors who are quick to put people on medication, and will try to keep you on it for the rest of your life!(smh) They started out with attempting to treat the possible causes based on the symptoms and signs explained because they weren't able to find anything wrong. After another whole year of searching for the origin of this unexplained, debilitating pain with no progress, Antoinette was rushed to the ER because she was not able to hold the medication (nor any other substance, including water) down, and ended up needing to receive fluids intravenously. Doctors ran multiple and a variety of test, and in the midst, we found out she was pregnant. We were blessed to receive the news about our new pending addition to the family, Sire Adesino Alexander Coley. He also became the reason we were able to receive an urgency to her emergency. This brought about an emergency insurance allocated for pregnant women in need of services. With this came the opportunity for more thorough testing methods that she was not covered for before such as, an MRI, which after undergoing, had exposed the origin of her pain: Chiari I Malformation . All of her symptoms were contributed to this disability. It caused cysts to form in her spine that put a lot of pressure on her nerve endings (this is where sensation, in the parts of her body that are in pain, is controlled) and in return causes pain to her body on the rear of her neck, left upper portion of her back, chest, shoulder, arm, hand & fingers. Now that we finally had a a diagnosis, it was time to get better. Or at least we thought it was...
The emergency insurance literally covered ONLY the things that were necessary to bring into this world a strong and healthy baby. Which of course was very much appreciated! He Is Alive And Well. However, the recommended procedure was to get a surgical operation, and the insurance that she qualified for does not cover this procedure. We are unable to pay for the surgery out of pocket, and we are quickly approaching the 3rd year of struggling with this in the dark, with little to no REAL solution.
In this process, Antoinette has had to leave her job because she is unable to use the left side of her body. Temporary Disability allotted her one year of financial support, but then pulled the rug right from under her feet, stating that she was not disabled according to their definition. Lets be clear; this taxpaying, law abiding, 1st time recipient of ANY governmental assistance EVER, payer of all governmental programs for roughly 15 years straight (from each paycheck), NOW mother of 2, BORN with this debilitating DISABILITY that caused an infectious cyst inside of her spine, and can become fatal if left untreated (as it has been for 3 years now), was denied support because of a FLAWED definition of disability.
To make matters worse, financial support from disability stopped right after the birth of our new baby. She has been denied TWICE for anymore assistance. The most heartbreaking part about this is witnessing our two children suffer throughout it all, because Antoinette is usually unable to fully interact with them, due to either the medication or the pain. Though effective in masking the pain, the medication that she was put on does have side effects that have taken a major toll on the love of my life. Over the time, she has had a major loss of appetite- which has cause massive weight loss(70+lbs). She also experiences extreme drowsiness- which causes her to have a great lack of energy and seriously effects the time and energy she can dedicate to her two reasons and purposes for living life!
On her 30th birthday, I made one of the biggest and best decisions in my life to commit my eternity to becoming one with this angelic soul (YES WHILE IN SICKNESS- I feel like it makes a heck of a statement!). Of course she was surprised, but most importantly, she was happy! For the first time in a very long time I saw such a genuine smile on her face. Having the reality of this moment being an actual moment for her, she became a bit uncomfortable with the idea. Due to the way she has been jerked around by the governmental system, she is not confident in the fact that she will receive the help she needs. And she's also worried about the odds of a successful procedure if she did. We were told by the Neurologist that there aren't ANY guarantees with surgery because this is still a very rare disability, and there is not much research done on it. My love told me: "I would not like to walk down the alter as a 'cripple'. I'd love to be able to enjoy the day I've waited so long for, with the people who love us so much, without having to force my smile through annoyingly painful sensations shooting throughout my body". Being the co-pilot to this family, and experiencing every aspect of this disability 2nd hand, I totally and completely understand how and why she feels that way, so as her soon to be husband, I take it as MY responsibility to make sure she is provided the opportunity to have it HER WAY #BurgerKingStatusForHerAllDay. After a very emotional and intense conversation that felt like pulling teeth, Antoinette and I came up with an agreed plan to get married in January, 2018, and I want NOTHING other than to see my love's beautiful face walking down the aisle fully functional, free of pain, worry free, and focused on being the shine to my light! I'd love for everyone to be able to experience the benevolent soul that we all know her to be. It really hurts me to see her experience her life in this state. Especially when people who has not seen her in the past 4-5 years reunites with the "current her". To hear friends and/or associates say how sorry they feel looking at her in such a helpless condition and state, especially when they know her for being so independent, strong, and happy ALL OF THE TIME, tears her down. If you know Antoinette, that was the one thing that she took pride in when it came to her living her life. So, it weighs on my heart to hear her "loved ones" making statements such as: "Whats wrong with her?", "Why is she upset like that? That's not like her", "There has never been a moment while I was in Antoinette's presence when she wasn't happy, laughing, or being silly- there's always a smile on her face".
We are currently on The Waiting List- the only option for people who do not have top-of-the-line insurance that will cover the cost (or a chunk of it) of medical procedures & expenses. With this being said, the chances of us actually receiving help are looking rough.
This brings me to my very reason for this Go Fund Me page, to target The Village. At this point, YOU are my family's ONLY source of hope. They say "It takes a village to raise a child", but it also takes the individuals to maintain the village. Antoinette has been, and still is to many, an important link to many chains in our villages. God knows that she has been for me and mine for as long as we've known her #Olufunmilayo⚓️.
"Links strong as steel they are I know, for if in weakness I let go, the strength we have will be in vain, letting go I'll break the chain, this is my place, here I belong, my link will make the whole chain strong"...
--Words frequently spoken by Antoinette that I truly understand now.
I only ask that we pull one up as we climb, and give our love. Love is the most effective form of helping. It can come in many forms; financial donations is only one. Other forms can include, but are not limited to, legal advisory, Neurosurgeon volunteer to do the procedure (or even give a 2nd opinion), government employees who may know of any helpful programs that her specific situation may fit under, Herbalists or Homeopathic specialist with ways of ridding her of the cyst (research shows that it has the ability to become cancerous) etc...
Thank you ALL in advance for your assistance with bringing my family closer to each other and to a more stable life! From the village to the village, God bless!
Almost five years ago a small sharp pain arose in the back of Antoniette's neck. Labeling it "stress" [related], she simply over looked the root of the issue and only scheduled therapeutic sessions to "relieve the tension". As the years went by, the acute pain became more frequent, each time growing stronger and longer in intensity and timing, until about 3 years ago when the pain did not go away. We went to doctor after doctor, saw specialists, went to hospital after hospital, and visited the ER numerous times. After a year of searching, we still knew nothing about what was happening to her body. The doctors put her on very high doses of medication which made her, for the most part, non-functional. I'm sure there's at least a few of you who can relate to doctors who are quick to put people on medication, and will try to keep you on it for the rest of your life!(smh) They started out with attempting to treat the possible causes based on the symptoms and signs explained because they weren't able to find anything wrong. After another whole year of searching for the origin of this unexplained, debilitating pain with no progress, Antoinette was rushed to the ER because she was not able to hold the medication (nor any other substance, including water) down, and ended up needing to receive fluids intravenously. Doctors ran multiple and a variety of test, and in the midst, we found out she was pregnant. We were blessed to receive the news about our new pending addition to the family, Sire Adesino Alexander Coley. He also became the reason we were able to receive an urgency to her emergency. This brought about an emergency insurance allocated for pregnant women in need of services. With this came the opportunity for more thorough testing methods that she was not covered for before such as, an MRI, which after undergoing, had exposed the origin of her pain: Chiari I Malformation . All of her symptoms were contributed to this disability. It caused cysts to form in her spine that put a lot of pressure on her nerve endings (this is where sensation, in the parts of her body that are in pain, is controlled) and in return causes pain to her body on the rear of her neck, left upper portion of her back, chest, shoulder, arm, hand & fingers. Now that we finally had a a diagnosis, it was time to get better. Or at least we thought it was...
The emergency insurance literally covered ONLY the things that were necessary to bring into this world a strong and healthy baby. Which of course was very much appreciated! He Is Alive And Well. However, the recommended procedure was to get a surgical operation, and the insurance that she qualified for does not cover this procedure. We are unable to pay for the surgery out of pocket, and we are quickly approaching the 3rd year of struggling with this in the dark, with little to no REAL solution.
In this process, Antoinette has had to leave her job because she is unable to use the left side of her body. Temporary Disability allotted her one year of financial support, but then pulled the rug right from under her feet, stating that she was not disabled according to their definition. Lets be clear; this taxpaying, law abiding, 1st time recipient of ANY governmental assistance EVER, payer of all governmental programs for roughly 15 years straight (from each paycheck), NOW mother of 2, BORN with this debilitating DISABILITY that caused an infectious cyst inside of her spine, and can become fatal if left untreated (as it has been for 3 years now), was denied support because of a FLAWED definition of disability.
To make matters worse, financial support from disability stopped right after the birth of our new baby. She has been denied TWICE for anymore assistance. The most heartbreaking part about this is witnessing our two children suffer throughout it all, because Antoinette is usually unable to fully interact with them, due to either the medication or the pain. Though effective in masking the pain, the medication that she was put on does have side effects that have taken a major toll on the love of my life. Over the time, she has had a major loss of appetite- which has cause massive weight loss(70+lbs). She also experiences extreme drowsiness- which causes her to have a great lack of energy and seriously effects the time and energy she can dedicate to her two reasons and purposes for living life!
On her 30th birthday, I made one of the biggest and best decisions in my life to commit my eternity to becoming one with this angelic soul (YES WHILE IN SICKNESS- I feel like it makes a heck of a statement!). Of course she was surprised, but most importantly, she was happy! For the first time in a very long time I saw such a genuine smile on her face. Having the reality of this moment being an actual moment for her, she became a bit uncomfortable with the idea. Due to the way she has been jerked around by the governmental system, she is not confident in the fact that she will receive the help she needs. And she's also worried about the odds of a successful procedure if she did. We were told by the Neurologist that there aren't ANY guarantees with surgery because this is still a very rare disability, and there is not much research done on it. My love told me: "I would not like to walk down the alter as a 'cripple'. I'd love to be able to enjoy the day I've waited so long for, with the people who love us so much, without having to force my smile through annoyingly painful sensations shooting throughout my body". Being the co-pilot to this family, and experiencing every aspect of this disability 2nd hand, I totally and completely understand how and why she feels that way, so as her soon to be husband, I take it as MY responsibility to make sure she is provided the opportunity to have it HER WAY #BurgerKingStatusForHerAllDay. After a very emotional and intense conversation that felt like pulling teeth, Antoinette and I came up with an agreed plan to get married in January, 2018, and I want NOTHING other than to see my love's beautiful face walking down the aisle fully functional, free of pain, worry free, and focused on being the shine to my light! I'd love for everyone to be able to experience the benevolent soul that we all know her to be. It really hurts me to see her experience her life in this state. Especially when people who has not seen her in the past 4-5 years reunites with the "current her". To hear friends and/or associates say how sorry they feel looking at her in such a helpless condition and state, especially when they know her for being so independent, strong, and happy ALL OF THE TIME, tears her down. If you know Antoinette, that was the one thing that she took pride in when it came to her living her life. So, it weighs on my heart to hear her "loved ones" making statements such as: "Whats wrong with her?", "Why is she upset like that? That's not like her", "There has never been a moment while I was in Antoinette's presence when she wasn't happy, laughing, or being silly- there's always a smile on her face".
We are currently on The Waiting List- the only option for people who do not have top-of-the-line insurance that will cover the cost (or a chunk of it) of medical procedures & expenses. With this being said, the chances of us actually receiving help are looking rough.
This brings me to my very reason for this Go Fund Me page, to target The Village. At this point, YOU are my family's ONLY source of hope. They say "It takes a village to raise a child", but it also takes the individuals to maintain the village. Antoinette has been, and still is to many, an important link to many chains in our villages. God knows that she has been for me and mine for as long as we've known her #Olufunmilayo⚓️.
"Links strong as steel they are I know, for if in weakness I let go, the strength we have will be in vain, letting go I'll break the chain, this is my place, here I belong, my link will make the whole chain strong"...
--Words frequently spoken by Antoinette that I truly understand now.
I only ask that we pull one up as we climb, and give our love. Love is the most effective form of helping. It can come in many forms; financial donations is only one. Other forms can include, but are not limited to, legal advisory, Neurosurgeon volunteer to do the procedure (or even give a 2nd opinion), government employees who may know of any helpful programs that her specific situation may fit under, Herbalists or Homeopathic specialist with ways of ridding her of the cyst (research shows that it has the ability to become cancerous) etc...
Thank you ALL in advance for your assistance with bringing my family closer to each other and to a more stable life! From the village to the village, God bless!
Organizer
Te'Ceion Coley
Organizer
Los Angeles, CA