Trevor's Tale of Sobriety and Service. Love In the Holy City

Hello there, My name is Trevor J. Thomason, and I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Currently, I'm going through the recovery program at Lantana in Charleston, SC. (born and raised native)

This is my first (and God willing last) time going through rehabilitation.

I've battled with my addictions for what seems like a lifetime, be it drugs & alcohol, sex, toxic relationships, and possessions in order to cope with/subdue my depression and self-loathing.

As it is with many of us who suffer from this disease, it started as a very impressionable, vulnerable, and depressed youth.

Stealing beers/liquor from the coolers at family gatherings, going to bars to play drums with bands that were much older than me and having them get me drinks.

Experimenting with different drugs in order to feel a sense of belonging and cohort.

At first, it was all fun, and I didn't even know what a drug/alcohol problem really was.

I told myself, "This is what I really needed in order to have even a shred of real joy in my life."

And that evolved over the years into heavier and heavier consumption...

to the point that I was waking up to a drink, getting ready for work with a drink, getting in my car with a drink, drinking there, drinking after, and on my way home... and if funds ran out or wasn't good enough to go get some more in the middle of the night... I would consume entire bottles of mouthwash... just to feel anything that wasn't who I am...

I'm college-educated, even made the dean's list.

I met my now ex-love of my life towards the end of college, a business owner, the girl next door.

I would have done anything for her...

So after a house fire that took everything from us (no insurance), I did just that.

Moved up to NC in order to restart her business where my accreditations were not valid.

So I took terrible jobs I hated, the business didn't work out, so we burned through savings, and that's when the physical and mental abuse started to come from a different source...

And I was so deep down in the dark hole of despair and self-loathing that I just accepted it for what it was and kept pushing. (with a little assistance from liquid/smoke courage)

I hid my pain like that for a decade...

Many times it was easier to just live in my car and tell people everything was just fine with me, that I did not need anyone's help.

Stubborn and feeling worthless, I refused to admit that my real problems were with me.

When it came time for me to be at my most responsible and get my life together...

I failed, miserably.

Showed up drunk to a job that I loved very much and was asked to leave.

So I did what any other reasonable person would do in that situation...

Spent more money on more booze than I had EVER done before and drove around town hoping and praying something terrible would happen to me, so I didn't have to suffer anymore.

I thank God right now for the friend that told me I was cool to come to his house.

One way or another, my mother found out where I was and begged me to get help.

Tears pouring out my face, I confided in and admitted what I was doing to myself to my friends and my family.

Went to a hospital to get checked out, couldn't get to a detox center that day, so my mom took me out to somewhere safe.

Somewhere she believed that I would not have access to anything that could harm myself.

If you would have polygraph tested me right then and there, I would have passed when she asked me to please be there and sober when she got off work.

Not even an hour later, I got an Uber from the property to the nearest Dollar General and bought 7/8 bottles of wine with the last of my money.

Hoping it would be the one that got me since I had medications from the hospital that I took on top of it.

Polished all that off before noon, and yet... there I was...

Alive and crying my eyes out.

My mom returned with the news that I could be admitted into Palmetto Detox Center the next day.

So she took me to her house, made me a huge steak (I don't remember that at all, but she has the pictures), and I slept until it was time to get up.

And evidently got in that car and made it to detox.

The first two days are a blur aside from shimmers of waking up covered in my own excrement.

On the third day, I had an epiphany so profound that it has stuck with me since.

I have a purpose.

I am worthy.

I am not born to die an alcoholic addict that does nothing with his life.

My sober date is Thursday, April 24th, 2025.

And my calling in life is to be a part of these programs and devote my life to aiding others in battling this disease.

That being said, I am without money... I am without a home... I am without a job.

Further treatment/sober living is my next step in this journey.

I'd like to stay here in the Holy City, my home.

These things are by no means free.

Any and all donations would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reading my story and being alive today.

You are loved, you are worthy, YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE AND YOU DESERVE TO LIVE <3