Treatments for Detta
Donation protected
Hello there! My name is Detta Darnell and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I’m asking for help. My job as an expressive life arts coach/counsellor usually sees me answering the call from other beautiful souls asking for help. I am passionate about helping others find ways to move past challenges, heal and grow. I never expected me to be the one asking.
I have been diagnosed with a rare and now terminal cancer. Leiomyosarcoma, a rare type of cancer that affects smooth muscle tissues. I have a large tumour around the abdomen which has sadly now spread to my liver and lungs, hence the prognosis from my oncologist. There is no hope of an operation. I am going through chemotherapy in the hope it may halt and even better, shrink the tumours. There are no guarantees. This diagnosis has completely rocked our world. I have two beautiful grown-up kids and two light of my life grandchildren and a wonderful husband. I had a great retreat business helping other women to make changes in difficult circumstances, take time out and grow. I counselled (still do a little) and coached in the healing arts. And I had a little rented house on a wild Greek island where I could paint, write and see my bambinos, the grandkids. Sounds idyllic and in part it was. Cancer is cruel it takes no prisoners. It has stripped us bare and left us floundering with the prognosis, which I am not accepting as gospel.
What it has done is to bring up many feelings I didn’t expect to feel. Shame, fear, anger, heartbreak and yes, some might find this strange, a few gifts along the way too! What it has also brought in is the desperate will to live. A cry from the depth of my soul to see my grandkids grow up. A plea for time to spend with my kids, my husband and my close friends and family. It’s a great leveller, cancer and as one dear friend said recently it’s bloody expensive!
I was diagnosed finally, after months of not hearing, in June. Misdiagnosed should I say. I had no sooner come to terms with the first diagnosis of kidney cancer, I was then called back to be told they had made a mistake and it was much more serious. I was told that it hadn’t spread and I could have an operation, a difficult and dangerous one, but it could be removed. I was assured it hadn’t spread. 10 days before the big op I noticed something on my notes, I questioned it, more scans and yet again they had got it wrong. It had spread and I was being discharged from Birmingham and sent back to Addenbrookes, some six months from initial diagnosis, to be given a terminal prognosis. Angry yes, fearful yes, grateful to still be here yes! I am now in my third round of Chemo, which is not going too well for me. I don’t suppose it’s meant to be a walk in the park but it is slaying me. That said, if it means I get ‘extra time’ to be with my family and watch my grandkids grow then hell yes it’s worth it. I will do anything to keep me here as part of their lives.
I do believe that those of us with terminal cancer can co-exist with our ‘unwanted visitors,’ our ‘uninvited squatters’ who come to invade our bodies, mess with our minds and rob us of our dreams. I believe we can still have a quality of life where we nod in acknowledgement to the unseen invaders but get on with our lives no matter what. I have several friends who have done just that. I have a dear friend who has kept going with the same cancer as me and has encouraged me to keep going just as she has done. It doesn’t have to be a death sentence, set in stone. That said, I also believe if it’s our time then it is our time. I just don’t believe it’s mine yet. I intend, as much as I can and with some divine intervention, that I can be one of the people in the ‘still here’ club despite a horrible no hope prognosis.
I need help to be able to make that happen. I have always believed in holistic/alternative health medicine alongside mainstream medicine. I know the two can exist quite happily side by side. Sadly, many doctors don’t. They can’t or won’t look beyond their arsenal of weapons. I too have access to an arsenal of healing weapons, but lack of financial funds makes it more difficult to access (hence the feelings of shame around that are ever present!) I am not wildly putting my store in every new-fangled treatment going. I’m a bit more measured than that and have spent many, many years researching and investigating the things that do work and have worked for many, mainly on behalf of my previous clients. And thank goodness I did because I can now go straight to the things I’m intuited to go to and take on the recommendations of others who have ‘beaten’ their no hope prognosis and are now cancer free. I have no great hope in any one thing, but do know a good, sound plan around nutrition/supplements, healing from trustworthy healers, CBD oil, essential oils, soul journeying (not for everyone but definitely for me) and wonderful time spent in nature, by the sea, in woods, laughing and making memories are the things that will help extend my life and life force.
I know from work done with clients how these things can have a profound effect on overall mind, body and spirit. It comes at a price. Now it’s my turn to do what I can do to keep myself going, remain positive and keep my strength up in the face of true adversity. I’m no stranger to challenges or adversity. I don’t so much battle and fight these days as yield to what needs to be surrendered to and use my inner most life force to dissolve old traumas, let go of the chains that sometimes are invisible but still chain us, and surrender to something higher along the healing path. That is how I am dealing with this journey; not looking for a million things to make life better, just a few core things that will bring me peace, help me to keep living with hope and to enjoy each and every day. I know I’m not the only one who has lost everything to this illness, it’s hard and tough. I’ve never claimed anything ever, nor has my husband, always preferring to make our own way. Sadly now we can no longer do this, hence the cry for help.
I’m certainly not feeling sorry for myself (okay a smidgeon at times) I just want to live and will do whatever I can; mainstream, holistically and alternatively that I can to do this. I will still paint and sell, write books, coach/counsellor but it takes the pressure off, especially on bad days when I find it hard to get my head off the pillow, to know that my treatments which help, are funded and paid for. Currently I wake up each day grateful for being alive. Grateful I have a whole new day ahead of me. Sad I have cancer but grateful none-the-less. Some days are much harder than others, some are glorious, but each brings a small gift and that makes me smile. I don’t want to be defined by cancer. It’s something I have to accept and manage as best I can. I know deep down that asking for help is probably the very last piece of the puzzle of life that I have been journeying for such a long time.
Finding peace and helping me to rewrite my story is a key part of my healing. I won’t go into my childhood stuff here but it is an integral part of my healing. Asking for help is quite terrifying to me. Putting myself in the spotlight, warts and all, being exposed, vulnerable with nowhere to hide is truly terrifying to me. All the doubts, fears and worries about what if.... come rushing in to taunt me. It feels very scary to me to be doing the asking, even though I can move mountains for others, and many times have done. I also know this is an integral part of my healing; mentally, physically and emotionally. I know this is something that only I can do. I was sort of ok with some dear friends setting this up for me, until I really listened to what they had to say, examined why I felt it such a difficult thing to do, and then knew it was exactly what I had to do alone.
So here we are, this is why I am asking for your help. I will be more than grateful for any donations, however large or small or tiny and if you feel you can’t donate I am fine with that too. I have been blessed over this past six months with an outpouring of love, messages, kindness and gifts and money too. I am completely grateful to all of you. To know we are loved is the greatest gift of all. I have been shown so much love, so much kindness and thank each and every one of you who have supported me and helped me since my diagnosis. Τhank you from the bottom of my heart and from Jason too.
I hope I can carry on for some time to come healing, loving and spending time with friends, family and new friends not yet made. Thank you for any support you are able to give whether that be monetary or otherwise. Everything is so gratefully received. With deep love and grateful thanks x x x Detta
I have been diagnosed with a rare and now terminal cancer. Leiomyosarcoma, a rare type of cancer that affects smooth muscle tissues. I have a large tumour around the abdomen which has sadly now spread to my liver and lungs, hence the prognosis from my oncologist. There is no hope of an operation. I am going through chemotherapy in the hope it may halt and even better, shrink the tumours. There are no guarantees. This diagnosis has completely rocked our world. I have two beautiful grown-up kids and two light of my life grandchildren and a wonderful husband. I had a great retreat business helping other women to make changes in difficult circumstances, take time out and grow. I counselled (still do a little) and coached in the healing arts. And I had a little rented house on a wild Greek island where I could paint, write and see my bambinos, the grandkids. Sounds idyllic and in part it was. Cancer is cruel it takes no prisoners. It has stripped us bare and left us floundering with the prognosis, which I am not accepting as gospel.
What it has done is to bring up many feelings I didn’t expect to feel. Shame, fear, anger, heartbreak and yes, some might find this strange, a few gifts along the way too! What it has also brought in is the desperate will to live. A cry from the depth of my soul to see my grandkids grow up. A plea for time to spend with my kids, my husband and my close friends and family. It’s a great leveller, cancer and as one dear friend said recently it’s bloody expensive!
I was diagnosed finally, after months of not hearing, in June. Misdiagnosed should I say. I had no sooner come to terms with the first diagnosis of kidney cancer, I was then called back to be told they had made a mistake and it was much more serious. I was told that it hadn’t spread and I could have an operation, a difficult and dangerous one, but it could be removed. I was assured it hadn’t spread. 10 days before the big op I noticed something on my notes, I questioned it, more scans and yet again they had got it wrong. It had spread and I was being discharged from Birmingham and sent back to Addenbrookes, some six months from initial diagnosis, to be given a terminal prognosis. Angry yes, fearful yes, grateful to still be here yes! I am now in my third round of Chemo, which is not going too well for me. I don’t suppose it’s meant to be a walk in the park but it is slaying me. That said, if it means I get ‘extra time’ to be with my family and watch my grandkids grow then hell yes it’s worth it. I will do anything to keep me here as part of their lives.
I do believe that those of us with terminal cancer can co-exist with our ‘unwanted visitors,’ our ‘uninvited squatters’ who come to invade our bodies, mess with our minds and rob us of our dreams. I believe we can still have a quality of life where we nod in acknowledgement to the unseen invaders but get on with our lives no matter what. I have several friends who have done just that. I have a dear friend who has kept going with the same cancer as me and has encouraged me to keep going just as she has done. It doesn’t have to be a death sentence, set in stone. That said, I also believe if it’s our time then it is our time. I just don’t believe it’s mine yet. I intend, as much as I can and with some divine intervention, that I can be one of the people in the ‘still here’ club despite a horrible no hope prognosis.
I need help to be able to make that happen. I have always believed in holistic/alternative health medicine alongside mainstream medicine. I know the two can exist quite happily side by side. Sadly, many doctors don’t. They can’t or won’t look beyond their arsenal of weapons. I too have access to an arsenal of healing weapons, but lack of financial funds makes it more difficult to access (hence the feelings of shame around that are ever present!) I am not wildly putting my store in every new-fangled treatment going. I’m a bit more measured than that and have spent many, many years researching and investigating the things that do work and have worked for many, mainly on behalf of my previous clients. And thank goodness I did because I can now go straight to the things I’m intuited to go to and take on the recommendations of others who have ‘beaten’ their no hope prognosis and are now cancer free. I have no great hope in any one thing, but do know a good, sound plan around nutrition/supplements, healing from trustworthy healers, CBD oil, essential oils, soul journeying (not for everyone but definitely for me) and wonderful time spent in nature, by the sea, in woods, laughing and making memories are the things that will help extend my life and life force.
I know from work done with clients how these things can have a profound effect on overall mind, body and spirit. It comes at a price. Now it’s my turn to do what I can do to keep myself going, remain positive and keep my strength up in the face of true adversity. I’m no stranger to challenges or adversity. I don’t so much battle and fight these days as yield to what needs to be surrendered to and use my inner most life force to dissolve old traumas, let go of the chains that sometimes are invisible but still chain us, and surrender to something higher along the healing path. That is how I am dealing with this journey; not looking for a million things to make life better, just a few core things that will bring me peace, help me to keep living with hope and to enjoy each and every day. I know I’m not the only one who has lost everything to this illness, it’s hard and tough. I’ve never claimed anything ever, nor has my husband, always preferring to make our own way. Sadly now we can no longer do this, hence the cry for help.
I’m certainly not feeling sorry for myself (okay a smidgeon at times) I just want to live and will do whatever I can; mainstream, holistically and alternatively that I can to do this. I will still paint and sell, write books, coach/counsellor but it takes the pressure off, especially on bad days when I find it hard to get my head off the pillow, to know that my treatments which help, are funded and paid for. Currently I wake up each day grateful for being alive. Grateful I have a whole new day ahead of me. Sad I have cancer but grateful none-the-less. Some days are much harder than others, some are glorious, but each brings a small gift and that makes me smile. I don’t want to be defined by cancer. It’s something I have to accept and manage as best I can. I know deep down that asking for help is probably the very last piece of the puzzle of life that I have been journeying for such a long time.
Finding peace and helping me to rewrite my story is a key part of my healing. I won’t go into my childhood stuff here but it is an integral part of my healing. Asking for help is quite terrifying to me. Putting myself in the spotlight, warts and all, being exposed, vulnerable with nowhere to hide is truly terrifying to me. All the doubts, fears and worries about what if.... come rushing in to taunt me. It feels very scary to me to be doing the asking, even though I can move mountains for others, and many times have done. I also know this is an integral part of my healing; mentally, physically and emotionally. I know this is something that only I can do. I was sort of ok with some dear friends setting this up for me, until I really listened to what they had to say, examined why I felt it such a difficult thing to do, and then knew it was exactly what I had to do alone.
So here we are, this is why I am asking for your help. I will be more than grateful for any donations, however large or small or tiny and if you feel you can’t donate I am fine with that too. I have been blessed over this past six months with an outpouring of love, messages, kindness and gifts and money too. I am completely grateful to all of you. To know we are loved is the greatest gift of all. I have been shown so much love, so much kindness and thank each and every one of you who have supported me and helped me since my diagnosis. Τhank you from the bottom of my heart and from Jason too.
I hope I can carry on for some time to come healing, loving and spending time with friends, family and new friends not yet made. Thank you for any support you are able to give whether that be monetary or otherwise. Everything is so gratefully received. With deep love and grateful thanks x x x Detta
Organizer
bernadette darnell
Organizer